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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    yup totally this. it's a dead end/one way street. once you've spent 20 years at home, who's going to employ you? it suddenly becomes much much harder to get out if you need/want to.
    What are you supposed to do though if your dream is being a stay at home parent - not do it, get a job and be miserable on the off chance your marriage splits up and you can't find a job 20 years down the track?

    I know there's no fool proof way of ensuring your marriage lasts/your perfect spouse doesn't turn into an ******** - however if my daughter was confident and independent prior to marrying, chose her spouse smartly (eg didn't shack up with the dude 3 months after meeting him) then I would say following her dreams and being a SAHM was worth the 10% risk that 20 years down the track her hubby would be an ********, they would divorce and she wouldn't be able to find a job

    (Just to clarify I plucked that 10% figure!)

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (09-10-2015),delirium  (08-10-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (09-10-2015)

  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    a lot of the time the super of 2 people isn't enough for a comfortable retirement! never mind fleecing some bloke for half of his.
    Eeeek fleecing? Nah. I am the cog that turns our household wheel. My husband 100% supports me being at home. I'm trying to be respectful but I think it's sad you think a woman having access to her husband's super is fleecing him. I'm raising my husband's children. He had a SAHM as well and wanted that for his kids.

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  5. #53
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    @harvs I too have a son and I worry that he would be placed under undue financial pressure if he was the sole breadwinner. I know it bothers my DH when I've had periods of not working. He hates being the sole breadwinner.

    While I plan on keeping my opinions to myself once my kids marry I'll quietly be praying they all find a balance.

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  7. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post

    Ok I'm going to admit that I changed my name *partly* bc I hated my maiden name. I didn't hate my dad or that side of the family, it's just an uncommon, unattractive name. I feel bad typing that but it's true :/
    I don't even feel bad admitting it. it's not a personal attack on my dads side of the family (my mums maiden name was also pretty bad), and I've always openly admitted hating it to them. why feel bad, it's your name and your burden too. getting married and having the option of taking a new surname was almost a relief. it was nice to legitimately escape my clanger of a surname 😂😂

  8. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    For someone who said they don't feel strongly about it, you certainly like arguing about it!
    I'm not arguing. I'm discussing and debating. I like a good debate.

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  10. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    What are you supposed to do though if your dream is being a stay at home parent - not do it, get a job and be miserable on the off chance your marriage splits up and you can't find a job 20 years down the track?

    I know there's no fool proof way of ensuring your marriage lasts/your perfect spouse doesn't turn into an ******** - however if my daughter was confident and independent prior to marrying, chose her spouse smartly (eg didn't shack up with the dude 3 months after meeting him) then I would say following her dreams and being a SAHM was worth the 10% risk that 20 years down the track her hubby would be an ********, they would divorce and she wouldn't be able to find a job

    (Just to clarify I plucked that 10% figure!)
    I believe the figure is more around the 32% mark, in that that's how many marriages end in divorce.

  11. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Eeeek fleecing? Nah. I am the cog that turns our household wheel. My husband 100% supports me being at home. I'm trying to be respectful but I think it's sad you think a woman having access to her husband's super is fleecing him. I'm raising my husband's children. He had a SAHM as well and wanted that for his kids.
    you've misunderstood me completely. not for one minute did I say or intend to say that.

  12. #58
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    Money doesn't buy you happiness but it doesn't do much for your general happiness either having to choose to buy food or pay the power bill.

  13. #59
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    I know I said I was out but
    I really regret changing my name when I married. DH knows this and is very happy for me to change it back but I just haven't got around to it.

  14. #60
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    [hQUOTE=misskittyfantastico;8309011]I know I said I was out but
    I really regret changing my name when I married. DH knows this and is very happy for me to change it back but I just haven't got around to it.[/QUOTE]

    that's really interesting! how soon after changing it did you start to regret the change?


 

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