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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    F@r& me! Can't believe I'm agreeing with both Sonya and Big Red in the one thread
    Quick!!! Buy a lottery ticket!!!!!!

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I didn't change my name when I got married. It was my name for 35 years and it was/is my identity. I haven't thought about how I would feel if my daughters changed their name yet...
    fair chop.

    I guess I consider my identity to me more than, and go further than just my surname.

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I guess I come at this from a slightly different standpoint in that my kidney disease is hereditary and my daughter and my sons have a 50% chance of having it too and having renal failure, dialysis etc...
    When you're chronically ill financial independence can be tricky as can any kind of employment so I think I think my circumstances are sort of skewed and I can't think beyond be healthy, be happy, be fulfilled and be loved.
    Anyway, I'll bow out now - not because I'm cranky or upset but because I don't really feel like I can offer much to it xxxx
    I completely respect where you're coming from. We take so much for granted when we are healthy xx

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    fair chop.

    I guess I consider my identity to me more than, and go further than just my surname.
    I think if there was a specific reason someone was unhappy with their surname I think I could get why they would take their husbands name on

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    fair chop.

    I guess I consider my identity to me more than, and go further than just my surname.
    My surname is used in my career. Massive part of who I am.

  8. #36
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    And can I just say - I changed my last name to DH's and I'm currently financially dependent on him. But anyone that knows me knows I'm still me, I'm still a spunky, opinionated strong woman. I have my own identity, my own voice. In fact my DH says he married me bc he found my opinionated spunk attractive lol

    Not everyone that changes their name or stays home is an insipid, weak person with no identity or independence. And I know people aren't saying that but that's often the innuendo. Yes I'm financially dependent on DH NOW. But I could and would support myself and my kids if I had to. I'm a strong intelligent woman who feels being at home suits MY family. If it stopped suiting my family, and it will in the next few years, then I will return to work.

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  10. #37
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    Ideally, I'd love for my DD to have a career first and then if she has children and decides to be a SAHM, I'd be thrilled. But I would like her to know financial independence/security first and make an informed decision.

    As for the surname thing.... I hope my DD does change her surname when she is an adult as she currently has her father's surname and he has nothing to do with her (or her brothers) and doesn't deserve to have such awesomeness named after him lol.

  11. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    My surname is used in my career. Massive part of who I am.
    if my surname was like, on the side of the building or in the company's name then I can understand not changing it.

  12. #39
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    Money doesn't make you happy but money buy you choices and freedom.

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  14. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I think if there was a specific reason someone was unhappy with their surname I think I could get why they would take their husbands name on
    mine was a real plonker. I couldn't wait to change it. I'd have changed it anyway even if I hadn't got married (I had a good standby name on hand).

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