I didn't change my name when I got married. It was my name for 35 years and it was/is my identity. I haven't thought about how I would feel if my daughters changed their name yet...
put it this way, I'd be more disappointed in my daughter if she dropped out of high school and flaked on her education and future for the sake of a guy than if she got married and changed her surname. you can still be independent and share a surname with your husband.
I guess I come at this from a slightly different standpoint in that my kidney disease is hereditary and my daughter and my sons have a 50% chance of having it too and having renal failure, dialysis etc...
When you're chronically ill financial independence can be tricky as can any kind of employment so I think my circumstances and therefore my thought processes are sort of skewed and I can't think beyond be healthy, be happy, be fulfilled and be loved.
Anyway, I'll bow out now - not because I'm cranky or upset but because I don't really feel like I can offer much to it xxxx
Last edited by misskittyfantastico; 08-10-2015 at 21:39.
I wouldn't be disappointed unless my daughter:
* chose to stay home because she was lazy, didn't want to 'work' for a living and thought staying home was her way of getting out of work (she would be in for a shock - being a SAHP isn't easy).
* was married to an ******** in which case I would be worried about her becoming financially dependent on him
* didn't really want to stay home (was pressured into t and wouldn't stand up for herself).
Under the right circumstances I could picture myself being very proud of a daughter that chose to be a SAHP. Although similar to Sonya I would probably silently be a tad disappointed if she changed her last name
The reason I raised it in this thread is I don't know any Sahm who haven m't changed their names. I do see them as linked.
I do get the concern over no super, it's a valid point. But many women now days are fighting for access to half their ex's super and being granted it. I also have a super fund, severa; in fact. Granted it's not the size of others here who have returned to work but it's something. Which is I guess why I hope she goes to uni and works for a while before staying at home.
I also think money isn't everything. Sure it helps but if it made people happy no rich person would be unhappy. My mother makes PA jabs at the fact I'm still at home but while she has super.... she's an extremely unhappy woman, always has been. Obviously her working isn't the cause, but it certainly doesn't make her life happy either.
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