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  1. #151
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    Gosh this is such an interesting thread and for me quite honestly quite an emotive topic. I had my kids lateish (34) so had my education, travel and work experience behind me, not to mention many years of single life fun 😉 But in my case I have no job to fall back on as the same role doesn't exist here. Even with a degree and masters I'll have to retrain if I want to work again - which I do but when bub is older. But by then I'll be mid-late 40's!!!
    The thing about a nanny is interesting too. We have 3 kids no help no family yada yada. If we were mega rich I might employ a nanny or a housekeeper so all doesn't fall on me. There is so much work involved in running a house and looking after kids I don't think having a nanny would equate to being lazy. But we're not mega rich so it's a mute point.
    I must admit I do feel vulnerable financially. I'm pretty much in charge of our finances and everything is in both our names but if something happened and I was on my own I would be stuffed. It's part of what makes me feel trapped and suffocated at times despite loving being home with kids as babies.
    I am going to get onto sorting out my own super though after reading this I've got an English pension but not sure how that works and NO Aussie super as yet...

  2. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    Gosh this is such an interesting thread and for me quite honestly quite an emotive topic. I had my kids lateish (34) so had my education, travel and work experience behind me, not to mention many years of single life fun 😉 But in my case I have no job to fall back on as the same role doesn't exist here. Even with a degree and masters I'll have to retrain if I want to work again - which I do but when bub is older. But by then I'll be mid-late 40's!!!
    The thing about a nanny is interesting too. We have 3 kids no help no family yada yada. If we were mega rich I might employ a nanny or a housekeeper so all doesn't fall on me. There is so much work involved in running a house and looking after kids I don't think having a nanny would equate to being lazy. But we're not mega rich so it's a mute point.
    I must admit I do feel vulnerable financially. I'm pretty much in charge of our finances and everything is in both our names but if something happened and I was on my own I would be stuffed. It's part of what makes me feel trapped and suffocated at times despite loving being home with kids as babies.
    I am going to get onto sorting out my own super though after reading this I've got an English pension but not sure how that works and NO Aussie super as yet...
    Just re: your english pension it can be transferred to Aus super but only some funds and products do it.

    I would support my child if they decided to be a SAHP. I have a boy and am expecting a possible girl. I would like my children to have enough of an education in order to work if necessary. Atm I work part time. After our second bub I probably will not go back to the same job. I am wanting to be involved in DS's school when he starts to keep up some form of skills and adult interaction.

    I do plan and going back to work after both kids are in school. We will see.

  3. #153
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    Well I only have boys so I can't really answer this personally, but one day my boys may have girlfriends/wives and face this too. I would be disappointed/saddened if they felt they were forced into a choice, whether that be being a sahm or feeling pressure to put their baby/s into care to pursue a career. I have seen the amazing contributions sahms make to their community as volunteers and would be proud to have a daughter/daughter in law make that contribution.

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  5. #154
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    I have only read a couple of comments & will go back & read through from the beginning.... I was thinking about this today in regards to my mother's group - out of 11 families there are no SAHMs but there are 2 SAHDs & a couple (including my family) with shared care between both parents (still together) & balancing work arrangements. There is so much more flexibility in the workplace that results in so many more options than the old school working vs SAH parent. I hope in 20 - 30 years that flexibility has continued & there are more options to balance work & home life. I also would not be bothered if either a son or a daughter chose to be a SAH parent. Whatever works for their family!

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  7. #155
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    I love being a (mostly) stay at home mum. I do work a couple of days a week and earn a bit of money selling Jamberry but not enough to make me "financially independent". Would I be disappointed if my child chose to do the same? Not at all. Being at home raising my son is one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done with my life and I would love my kids to be able to have the same experience IF that is what they wanted. I have a strong relationship with my husband, and he is a decent guy. Being reliant on him for financial stability for our family is not a bad thing IMO We are a family, a team. Kids are only little for a short time and I think if you want to spend that time with them and you can afford to do it then you should.

    What I would hate would be for my kid to be forced into a situation they are not happy with. Whether that's staying at home or working. I want them to make their own choices and be happy with their decisions.

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  9. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moxy View Post
    Sounds like my idea of bliss. If she's financially in a position where she doesn't have to work, more power to her. If that was me the nanny would also be responsible for bringing me champagne and mojitos.
    She's not.

  10. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    But we could turn that on it's ear. What about the Mum that goes back to work at 6 weeks bc she hates being a mum and has the DC do the lion's share of parenting? Or the Mum that returns to work soon after the birth because despite her husband earning a big wage she likes designer bags and overseas holidays? But those choices are often given back pats for being brave for admitting they don't want to be at home or for being 'driven' and 'self sufficient'.

    I admit, if I won lotto tomorrow I wouldn't ever get a Nanny. I want to raise my kids. But see that's my perception which is really the long winded point I'm making. It's all so subjective.
    Of course we could. These are MY reasons, reasons that would bring disappointment.. And as you said, "often" the choice to go back to work is rewarded... but not always.

  11. #158
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    I married DH and changed my names on the day but I haven't lodged anything... Fast forward two years! I don't want too and he knows it. It's my name, it's who I am. The kids have his name that's enough.

    I would be upset and afraid. I'm uneducated, no job etc and I do rely on my DH. I don't want the same for my kids. I am only just getting educated now at 25.

  12. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by monnie24 View Post
    I married DH and changed my names on the day but I haven't lodged anything... Fast forward two years! I don't want too and he knows it. It's my name, it's who I am. The kids have his name that's enough.

    I would be upset and afraid. I'm uneducated, no job etc and I do rely on my DH. I don't want the same for my kids. I am only just getting educated now at 25.
    Pure curiosity- why did you change it at all, if you weren't going to change anything with your name on it?

    I still haven't changed much but only because my only form of ID is my passport and I cannot change that until it is up for renewal..in 2021!

  13. #160
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Pure curiosity- why did you change it at all, if you weren't going to change anything with your name on it?

    I still haven't changed much but only because my only form of ID is my passport and I cannot change that until it is up for renewal..in 2021!
    You can change your passport easily, usually free of charge if you have 2+ years left on it.


 

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