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  1. #1
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    Default Would you be disappointed if your DD chose to be at home long term?

    Another thread got me thinking about my SAHM status. Truth be told if finances weren't an issue i.e. buying a house I'd happily never return to work FT. I do currently and would need an external outlet and time for me. But I really don't have any career aspirations beyond paying the bills. So work to live as opposed to live to work. It got me thinking about how society sees long term SAHM's and reminded me of a a very similar thread to this one a looooong time ago where lots of members said they would be upset if their daughter chose to be a long term SAHM.

    So would you be disappointed if she did? When I say long term, I mean beyond school age, or like me, where the children are quite spread out age wise. Would you try to talk her out of it? Would you just support her?

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  3. #2
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    I would be over the moon happy if it was HER choice.

    I would support all my dd's choices no matter if I agree with it or not.

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    If I had a DD I would not be disappointed as long as it was her choice and not an obligation. To be honest I would seriously consider being a long term SAHM if the conditions were right for us. I think there would be a lot of value being "around" for my school age and high school aged children just as much as my baby/toddler.

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    I know it probably sounds simplistic but all I want is for my daughter to be healthy, happy, fulfilled and loved.
    If she finds these things as a long term SAHM then of course I would support her.

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    I think for me the key is about having the choice.

    I have 2 degrees, have done further study beyond that and am in a job some might consider a "career". cool. I still work to live and don't really aspire to too much beyond that. I'm not looking to be the next company ceo.

    I think it's great if you've got the choice to be a SAHM because it always means you'll have options. being a SAHM by itself is not a bad thing, it's the lack of choices and financial power that goes with it that worries me. I'd be concerned if my daughter wanted to be a SAHM and closed herself off to other options - further education, a job or some kind of career etc of her own. to be totally dependent on a man for your livelihood scares me. i really think you need something of your own to fall back on in case the SAHM gig goes pear shaped.

    I know my opinions will prob polarize a few people but that's how I feel.

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    If would support her no matter how.
    My mum was really disappointed when I was a SAHM, which made me really sad and it definitely stained our relationship. I do understand she had a really hard time raising and educating me and the fact that when my dad died she was a SAHM and left with nothing but debt. However, I enjoyed being a SAHM and there are many factors that I couldn't even explain to her because she wouldn't understand. My mom lives overseas, so there were times when I just lied to her I was working just to keep her happy. I wish she was more supportive .

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    I would support my son or daughter if staying at home with kids was the best choice for them. Staying at home isnt for everyone but if it all worked out for them and their partners, who cares.

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    Kitty - nope not too simplistic at all. That is what I want for my kids. To be happy, healthy and safe. All the rest is just white noise.

    Turquioise - I could have written what you did. I consider myself lucky. If DH died tomorrow or left me, I do have a career to fall back on. Granted I'd be starting towards the bottom again but I have a degree. I'm also half way through another degree that I could finish in 12 months if I really knuckled down.

    I would love my DD to have *something* behind her. hairdressing, a sparkie, a lawyer, anything. Also some work history. My DD is highly intelligent so part of me dreams of uni for her. But if she chose to be a long term SAHM I would support her totally. The only circumstance I would have something to say is if her husband was pressuring her to be home when she didn't want to be.

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    Yes I would be disappointed. She needs to go back to work so I can mind my grand babies lol.


    But seriously I would be happy if she was happy. I'm definitely a work to live type person, I have only recently returned to work 5-10 hours a week and my DD is 5! I hate to think that my mum could be disappointed in me for that, but since she was also a SAHM she understands that it still working, and supports me in whatever I choose. I will be the same for my daughter.

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    Honestly I would feel like I failed as a mother if any of my children but especially my daughter(s) chose not to be independent financially.

    It is so so so important for me.

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