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  1. #21
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    It's a lot easier than I expected, maternity leave was like being on holiday
    But maybe I mentally prepared for the worst so it wasn't hard to improve on that. (Btw I only have a 15 month old - I fully expect it to get progressively harder the older he gets!)

    It's not as emotional as I thought it'd be, it's like I've been completely emotionally stabilised, I have neither big highs nor lows anymore. Just a calm, logical acceptance (or apathy!). Which is basically the complete opposite of what everyone else says, which I guess is why it's different to what I expected!

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  3. #22
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    I didn't have any expectations but still found it challenging. Nothing can prepare you for it.

    I remember wondering how some women seemed so happy and relaxed on maternity leave while I was struggling.

    Well now I know. I just had #2 and she sleeps all the time. This is a walk in the park. So much so that I have time to study and part time work and go to brunch with my friends while keeping up with housework and all.

    I guess what I'm saying is our experience of parenting are probably driven 25% by our personality and 75% by the kind of baby you get 😉

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    I guess what I'm saying is our experience of parenting are probably driven 25% by our personality and 75% by the kind of baby you get ������
    This is sooooo true

  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    I didn't have any expectations but still found it challenging. Nothing can prepare you for it.

    I remember wondering how some women seemed so happy and relaxed on maternity leave while I was struggling.

    Well now I know. I just had #2 and she sleeps all the time. This is a walk in the park. So much so that I have time to study and part time work and go to brunch with my friends while keeping up with housework and all.

    I guess what I'm saying is our experience of parenting are probably driven 25% by our personality and 75% by the kind of baby you get 😉
    Yup totally agree!! I have a 14 week old who has reflux, hates sleeping, hates the car, hates the pram, refuses a bottle, cries (sorry screams!!) a lot. She's my first (and last) and I would not describe her as an easy baby. I describe her as very needy. Listening to other mums who have babies that sleep and have easy temperaments makes me depressed.
    I went from holding down a very stressful job with a huge amount of responsibility and very long hours and I was super competent and organized no matter how hard the days were. Now this 14 week old delightful monster has almost got me beat! For me, this is waaaaaay harder than working its in a totally different stratosphere of hard. I have been wistfully thinking to go back to work on more than one occasion so far lol 😁 but instead I'm extending my leave from 6-12 months. Even though she's hard work I can tell she needs me and I need to be there for her

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  8. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beljane View Post
    I never expected the huge range of emotions a child could evoke. From they are annoying the living crap out of me and I can't stand them right now to oh my gosh I love this precious child more than words can express. That really throw me! Everything else has been pretty on par with my expectations
    A bit like this:
    ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1444309936.899742.jpg

    Pretty much sums up how it is!

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  10. #26
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    I was so naive when I had children, I was the first in my family and group of friends to have one - I'd never even held a newborn until I held my own. TBH, I don't even know why I had kids, I just thought it was what you did (awful, I know) so I had no expectations.
    Things that surprised me have been that parenting constantly changes but never ends, the hard is different but still so bloody hard.
    How much I could love each of my very different children.
    How much I laugh.
    How much I cry.
    How much pride/happiness/sadness/embarrassment/Every other emotion I could feel for my child.
    How much surprise I feel.
    How much confidence, clarity and purpose having children has given me while all the while knowing that those things could be knocked out of me at any given moment.
    I just love that I have a family. I made a family with my DH who I love more than anything in this world. It surprises me everyday.

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  12. #27
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    Such lovely, and thoughtful, and interesting replies. So many rings of truth. @misskittyfantastico, that "i just love that i have a family" somehow made me sniffle.

    Thanks everyone.

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  14. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustJaq View Post
    Such lovely, and thoughtful, and interesting replies. So many rings of truth. @misskittyfantastico, that "i just love that i have a family" somehow made me sniffle.

    Thanks everyone.
    Thank YOU for starting the thread - I've really struggled with mothering for the last little while (and also forever) but your question really made me think about it all and it does come down to the we made a family, for good or for bad, when we get along or when eyes are going to be scratched out with sticks, we're family.

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  16. #29
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    Previous to having ds I thought I had a pretty honest expectation of parenthood. I am the youngest and last to have children, my mum and step father have 17 grandchildren between them (my ds not included) and a number of my close friends had had children before us. But it has been a lot harder than I expected. We've had feeding issues and sleeping issues all while battling pnd and ptsd.

    But 19 months on it is getting easier, ds is a handful but also so much fun.

    I always expected that I'd be the stepford wife while being a sahm but if the house hasn't been burnt down and ds is fed and happy when dh gets home I call that a good day! I'm in no hurry to go back to work atm as I am feeling as though I am only now enjoying my time with ds and really bonding with him.


    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  18. #30
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    I have an 11month old DS and I'm surprised every day!
    The hard parts - no sleep! I expected to have little sleep the first few months but nothing could have prepared me for the constant night wakings, even now. I'm at home more now I'm not working but the house just always seems to be messy...I need to let go and just learn to deal with it.
    The good parts - I laugh so much more now he is here - he is the funniest little guy, he never fails to bring a smile to our faces. It's hard work but so so rewarding. I never expected to love my husband more - but becoming a little family and seeing how great he is with our son gives me so much joy.
    I was also surprised by how much I, as a person, have changed. What seemed to matter before doesn't anymore, I'm much more emotional (in a good way I think) and i never knew you could love this fiercely.
    I expected it to be great, just not this great 😀

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