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  1. #81
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    Default Another daycare issue

    Hey Hun as hard as it may be it may be time to step back and take a deep breath.

    If your DS's daycare has taken the time to write a letter for the psych then even if they get a chunk of it wrong, the fact they tried is a good sign. Daycare can only comment on what they see. It's your job to then tell the psych what you see. If there are differences it doesn't necessarily mean one party is bad. It could just mean your DS acts differently depending on the environment he's in. Let the psych merge the two stories together - with qualifications and years of study I am sure they can get to the bottom of what's going on.

    Please don't shut out your DS's educators because of what is written in the letter. They spend a chunk of time with your DS and they might have a piece of the jigsaw puzzle your DS's psych needs.

    I would treat the tripping over as a separate issue.

    Even if there are some things with your DS that need a bit if extra love and attention with it's not a bad thing. It doesn't mean your DS is any less gorgeous or Loveable. It doesn't mean you've failed.

    Please let all input through to the psych with an open mind. The more data the better.

    Hang in there xx

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  3. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Hey Hun as hard as it may be it may be time to step back and take a deep breath.

    If your DS's daycare has taken the time to write a letter for the psych then even if they get a chunk of it wrong, the fact they tried is a good sign. Daycare can only comment on what they see. It's your job to then tell the psych what you see. If there are differences it doesn't necessarily mean one party is bad. It could just mean your DS acts differently depending on the environment he's in. Let the psych merge the two stories together - with qualifications and years of study I am sure they can get to the bottom of what's going on.

    Please don't shut out your DS's educators because of what is written in the letter. They spend a chunk of time with your DS and they might have a piece of the jigsaw puzzle your DS's psych needs.

    I would treat the tripping over as a separate issue.

    Even if there are some things with your DS that need a bit if extra love and attention with it's not a bad thing. It doesn't mean your DS is any less gorgeous or Loveable. It doesn't mean you've failed.

    Please let all input through to the psych with an open mind. The more data the better.

    Hang in there xx
    I agree with this! As I stated in a previous post, it would be terrible if they didn't say anything at all to you. Some things are obviously not right (in what they are saying) but that's what the assessment will determine. I know how hard it is, my son acts very different at daycare and it's hard to determine what's going on. The educators are on your side. Use them to get your info. I have worked very hard with our daycare to come up with strategies to help my DS. I don't think they are diagnosing your child, just showing things that may be a concern. Daycare can be hard for kids but swapping and changing care can be hard too (I know this from personal experience).
    Obviously, if your child hates it and is being picked on and bullied then get him out. I can't believe the educators allowed the tripping incident to occur. I didn't know children could be like this at such a young age.
    Good luck with the psych. It will be a huge help!

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  5. #83
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    Good luck today

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  7. #84
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    Hi please try not to stress about the whole ASD thing. It can be quite confronting but if they do have it you will learn to live with it it is part of what makes them them, people with ASD are just wired a little different.

    I am not saying that your child does have an ASD but if they do it does not mean that they are not intelligent. In fact sometimes people on the spectrum have superior intelligence but may be less developed in other areas and vice versa (just as most people without ASD are). That's why it is called a spectrum. If you drew a straight line people would be on all different points of that line.

    I have children and husband on the spectrum (high functioning in the past called aspergers) they all have their own unique abilities and have above average intelligence.

    People with ASD face more challenges functioning in the community but it is not impossible. If you do, in the future, get a diagnosis it means you can understand your child better and help them to function in the Community as best as they can.

    I don't know if my 4 year old is on the spectrum but she can not write her name that well and she has had a melt down when I haven't got her paper before lol. She has her moments, and at times can be very challenging, but I am not going to rush out and get her diagnosed unless she was to display major signs. She is very independent and just likes to try and get things her own way.

    Good luck with it all sounds like you are a fantastic loving caring mother doing a great job.
    Xxoo.

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  9. #85
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    Good luck today @SAgirl

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  11. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Hey Hun as hard as it may be it may be time to step back and take a deep breath.

    If your DS's daycare has taken the time to write a letter for the psych then even if they get a chunk of it wrong, the fact they tried is a good sign. Daycare can only comment on what they see. It's your job to then tell the psych what you see. If there are differences it doesn't necessarily mean one party is bad. It could just mean your DS acts differently depending on the environment he's in. Let the psych merge the two stories together - with qualifications and years of study I am sure they can get to the bottom of what's going on.

    Please don't shut out your DS's educators because of what is written in the letter. They spend a chunk of time with your DS and they might have a piece of the jigsaw puzzle your DS's psych needs.

    I would treat the tripping over as a separate issue.

    Even if there are some things with your DS that need a bit if extra love and attention with it's not a bad thing. It doesn't mean your DS is any less gorgeous or Loveable. It doesn't mean you've failed.

    Please let all input through to the psych with an open mind. The more data the better.

    Hang in there xx
    A small thing, but very relevant- the daycare did not write the letter for the psych. The centre leader wrote her own diagnosis letter for the OP- she is not qualified to do this.

    The OP decided to forward the letter to the psych, as she feels the carers are not meeting her child's needs, and are picking on him (or rather, using him as an example of what not to do/be).

  12. #87
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    So we have seen our psych, we're feeling a lot better now. She has said the letter from daycare seems completely blown out of proportion and OTT, she said it sounds like the centre leader is basically taking all she's learned from her textbook and applying it to our DS, therefore giving her own 'diagnosis' of ASD. She said she can see she was trying to do the right thing but agrees it was out of line to mention ASD when she has zero qualifications in that area.

    Our plan now is to get his hearing tested to be sure nothing is going on there, then go to speech therapy if need be.

    We will also try and help him more with his fine motor skills at home until such time where we feel he may need some help from an OT.

    We filled out a log questionnaire last time we saw her which I forgot about and she said today that she didn't see anything pop up with regards to anxiety but she doesn't feel he's anywhere close to having ASD.

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  14. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    So we have seen our psych, we're feeling a lot better now. She has said the letter from daycare seems completely blown out of proportion and OTT, she said it sounds like the centre leader is basically taking all she's learned from her textbook and applying it to our DS, therefore giving her own 'diagnosis' of ASD. She said she can see she was trying to do the right thing but agrees it was out of line to mention ASD when she has zero qualifications in that area.

    Our plan now is to get his hearing tested to be sure nothing is going on there, then go to speech therapy if need be.

    We will also try and help him more with his fine motor skills at home until such time where we feel he may need some help from an OT.

    We filled out a log questionnaire last time we saw her which I forgot about and she said today that she didn't see anything pop up with regards to anxiety but she doesn't feel he's anywhere close to having ASD.
    Is the psych going to speak to the centre on your behalf? I get the feeling they won't "listen" if you tell them the psych said he is just fine.

  15. #89
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    Both my kids have HF ASD. Neither one have ever flapped, or licked or had food aversions or walked on tip toes or stimmed etc etc. They have their quirks - trust me - but unless I told you you would never know.

    Both kids are HF ASD, ADHD, anxiety and gifted.

    ASD can be very subtle - and getting the diagnosis for my children was one of the best things I did. They are accommodated correctly at school and I have adjusted my parenting to suit their needs.

    Not suggesting at all OP that your child has ASD - and like you I would have been outraged if a carer suggested it. My DD wasnt diagnosed until pre primary (her ASD is more obvious) and problems we were having were put down to behavioural issues.

    My son hasnt needed much more than some in class adjustments - mostly to match his IQ and keep him from getting bored.
    My DD has required more assistance and a fair bit of early intervention - including OT.

    I knew in my gut something was up with DD. And as a mother facing that is traumatic. Noone wants there to be anything wrong with their child. I had to push for the diagnosis in the beginning. Seeing the RIGHT professionals made all the difference.

    ASD is the buzzword at the moment - and I think too many people with little understanding are tossing it at parents as an answer. NOBODY but a qualified team can accurately assess ASD. (in WA we need psych, Paed and speech)

    Good luck with whatever happens. My kids are happy and physically healthy and progressing very well at school. There are worse things than ASD.

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  17. #90
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    Default Another daycare issue

    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    A small thing, but very relevant- the daycare did not write the letter for the psych. The centre leader wrote her own diagnosis letter for the OP- she is not qualified to do this.

    The OP decided to forward the letter to the psych, as she feels the carers are not meeting her child's needs, and are picking on him (or rather, using him as an example of what not to do/be).
    I don't see carers writing a letter with observations about a child as a bad or inappropriate thing. Infact I think it's a good thing. As long as they are not saying they have a medical degree when they don't.

    As for whether the carers are picking on the OP's DS that's a hard thing to determine due to pre-existing complexities with the OPs DS as well as sensitivities and potential bias/misunderstanding on both sides.
    Last edited by VicPark; 14-10-2015 at 17:37.


 

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