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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    Just to clarify, my son does not crack it all the time, especially NOT at daycare. I have not had a single report of him cracking it there. This is the first time it's ever been mentioned by them. In fact, when he was at his worst at home (after his little brother was born and a lot of things changed at home) I specifically asked them a number of times if he has similar behaviour at daycare and they said *no*. They said he was very well behaved and not a problem at all.

    He also doesn't crack it 'all the time' at home, that phased has passed. Things have Changed drastically for the better at home since we have changed a few things. It's only now and then when he's seeking our attention and wants to be 'babied' because his little bro get things done for him.

    ETA: his tantrums are also not over 'every little thing', I didn't say that at all.

    I can only go off what you have written.

    A 4 year old losing it over a teacher not getting him paper (when he didn't ask for it) signals a bigger issue to me.

    I never said you said that. Again, I'm basing it off the info provided, not his whole life.

    And, as you said, daycare haven't mentioned it before- that doesn't mean it's not happening.

    I agree that they shouldn't have mentioned it so casually, but maybe they felt it was the best way? Perhaps they have mentioned ASD to other parents and they have freaked?

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    I can only go off what you have written.

    A 4 year old losing it over a teacher not getting him paper (when he didn't ask for it) signals a bigger issue to me.

    What issues would it signal to you? Can't kids just have a bad day?

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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    What issues would it signal to you? Can't kids just have a bad day?
    As I said, it would signal ASD.

    ETA: and yes, kids can have a bad day- hence the rest of my post and not just one particular line.
    Last edited by DT75; 08-10-2015 at 13:33.

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    As I said, it would signal ASD.

    ETA: and yes, kids can have a bad day- hence the rest of my post and not just one particular line.
    I can't see how a one off at daycare would signal ASD! I only quoted that one line because the rest just said how you're going off what I had written, which is fair enough, but you haven't seemed to recognise that he has never had issues at daycare, his behaviour has drastically improved at home and the various other positive things I wrote.

    Not to mention that he has no other markers for ASD. You can't just pick one thing and go 'ooh look he may have autism' it's a bit ridiculous.

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    It doesn't signal any bigger issues for me @SAgirl if that gives you any comfort. My son was the sort of kid who expected people to fetch and carry for him and when he started at a Montessori preschool they refused and he used to have stand up fights with the teachers. But he learned in the end through very gentle techniques.

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    If it were me, I'd be pulling him out. No matter whether you are being over sensitive or they are in fact targeting your son to 'prove' he's the issue not their supervision, you have lost trust in the centre.

    I sent both of my kids to the same CC and with DD they were great but by the end of her stay the supervision was going down hill. By the time DS was about 4 the workers were getting old and obviously over the job and would just sit gas bagging not even watching. My son was getting bullied to a point I went to pick him up one day to find 4 or 5 boys literally bashing him up (kicking and punching him in the head, kicking him on the ground). The staff were in a circle talking and not even noticing and then the Director tried to minimise the incident. I pulled him out that day. My point is to listen to your gut. If you don't feel the centre is a good fit anymore, pull him out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    I can't see how a one off at daycare would signal ASD! I only quoted that one line because the rest just said how you're going off what I had written, which is fair enough, but you haven't seemed to recognise that he has never had issues at daycare, his behaviour has drastically improved at home and the various other positive things I wrote.

    Not to mention that he has no other markers for ASD. You can't just pick one thing and go 'ooh look he may have autism' it's a bit ridiculous.
    Actually I did say that you said daycare had said xyz... but they may just have been saying that, or not noticed it. That doesn't mean it's not a possibility.

    Again, I don't know his whole life, so have no idea if he has other markers. But FWIW, my brother only had one issue and was diagnosed with ASD at 6, and he is very obviously an ASD child now at 12.

    I didn't pick one thing, I'm trusting the opinion of qualified carers. It doesn't hurt to get an assessment, and if it comes back as him not having ASD, then you know it is the daycare.
    You also mentioned he had been to 3 in 3 years, but no reason- that was an indicator, to me, that he has problems with daycare.

    And I did speak about other things- paper situation etc.

    ETA: I do agree with the poster above that you have clearly lost trust here, and probably should pull him out.

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    Honestly no alarm bells ring for me when I read the situation with the paper plane and teacher etc.

    He could have been tired or in a little bit of a mood, he's 4, it happens.

    If it was a constant thing I could understand some cause for concern but they have never mentioned anything before right?

    I would ask for a meeting, so they could explain exactly what their concerns are and what they see in his behaviour that indicates ASD.

    If you don't feel they are going about things the right way, perhaps look at starting fresh at a different centre next year.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Actually I did say that you said daycare had said xyz... but they may just have been saying that, or not noticed it. That doesn't mean it's not a possibility.

    Again, I don't know his whole life, so have no idea if he has other markers. But FWIW, my brother only had one issue and was diagnosed with ASD at 6, and he is very obviously an ASD child now at 12.

    I didn't pick one thing, I'm trusting the opinion of qualified carers. It doesn't hurt to get an assessment, and if it comes back as him not having ASD, then you know it is the daycare.
    You also mentioned he had been to 3 in 3 years, but no reason- that was an indicator, to me, that he has problems with daycare.

    And I did speak about other things- paper situation etc.

    ETA: I do agree with the poster above that you have clearly lost trust here, and probably should pull him out.
    The thing is, no one has sat the OP down and expressed their concerns in a professional manner - the director made a casual reference to ASD. As a parent of a child on the spectrum, this doesn't sit right with me.

    OP, I would outright as the director for clarification on her comment.

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  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Degrassi View Post
    The thing is, no one has sat the OP down and expressed their concerns in a professional manner - the director made a casual reference to ASD. As a parent of a child on the spectrum, this doesn't sit right with me.

    OP, I would outright as the director for clarification on her comment.
    I know, and I mentioned that- totally not ok.

    @SAgirl- I'm only giving my opinion. My first post said "if" and "based purely on this"... no parent wants to hear that their kid might have an issue- even if they suspect it. And, as I said, I don't recall your other post, but daycares get a lot of crap, and the majority are doing things the best way they can.
    Again, it doesn't hurt to get an assessment- you said he sees a psych? Ask them if they have noticed signs.
    Last edited by DT75; 08-10-2015 at 13:57.


 

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