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  1. #11
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    I keep chopping & changing between thinking he would never do anything like this to us to absolute broken heart sobbing that I must be a fool for trusting him. I so want to be wrong & give him the benefit of the doubt & I love him so much it hurts. I also think it doesn't fit in with his character, but it's hard when you're faced with concrete evidence in the search history. However, if like a few of you have said that anything can pop up in your search history then maybe he is telling the truth. I asked him again, please just to be honest with me. He said, 'I am, I've done nothing wrong. I never googled it.'

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    He also said he would never do anything to jeopardise what he has with me & our son.

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    I would believe him. Your husband sounds like a very patient man. It's highly unlikely that he would leave something suss in his search history when he knows you check it.

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  5. #14
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    If he knows you don't trust him surely he wouldn't be dumb enough to google something like that and not delete his search history.

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  7. #15
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    Google search history is far from "concrete evidence" as you are calling it.

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  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyMumma View Post
    Google search history is far from "concrete evidence" as you are calling it.
    That's actually what I want to hear. Like I said my perspective is quite skewed. I don't want to end my relationship of 7 years. I love him. It just seems so suspicious. It was the brothel that came up, then one of the girls, then the price list. It seems so specific for random Google searching. I love him & want to move on from this.

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    I would be inclined to believe your DH. I often read short stories online, just innocent fiction stories. But the page has ads for 's3xy singles near you', etc, and sometimes when I click on the link to read a story I'll get a pop up screen for the darned s3x site!!! So annoying! So if my DH checked my search history it would look like I was going onto hook-up sites! Lucky for me he'd believe me when I told him.

  11. #18
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    Another inclined to believe your DH. I think you have to realize that if you have such strong trust issues they're going to bite you in the butt. You're going to come across things that look a bit suss- you can't live your life like this. I can think of a million things I've done online that might look dodgy if discovered- like the time I did an online quiz (you know, one of those 'which character of this tv show are you?' Type ones, and I didn't realize that by giving them my email I was essentially signing up to a dating site they kept sending me bloody emails till I figured out how to stop them.
    Another time, I actually DID look up a brothel's website, because I was like 99% certain the place was a brothel but wanted to check. I probably looked around the page a bit too just out of pure curiosity.
    I regularly accidentally sign off texts/emails to male colleagues with xx, and some of them could be construed as flirty, but it's actually just a bad habit of mine to sign off with kisses and every time I do it I cringe at myself!
    I think your DH has been wonderfully understanding tbh. He sounds like a gem. Don't let your own mistrust ruin that! Of course there is always the possibility that he really did look up that site with dodgy intentions, but I think the likelihood of that is far smaller than you causing your own problems by being overly suspicious of him. Sorry if that's a bit harsh but from your previous posts it sounds like what you want to hear.

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    Default Husband's search history shows brothel

    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Another inclined to believe your DH. I think you have to realize that if you have such strong trust issues they're going to bite you in the butt. You're going to come across things that look a bit suss- you can't live your life like this. I can think of a million things I've done online that might look dodgy if discovered- like the time I did an online quiz (you know, one of those 'which character of this tv show are you?' Type ones, and I didn't realize that by giving them my email I was essentially signing up to a dating site they kept sending me bloody emails till I figured out how to stop them.
    Another time, I actually DID look up a brothel's website, because I was like 99% certain the place was a brothel but wanted to check. I probably looked around the page a bit too just out of pure curiosity.
    I regularly accidentally sign off texts/emails to male colleagues with xx, and some of them could be construed as flirty, but it's actually just a bad habit of mine to sign off with kisses and every time I do it I cringe at myself!
    I think your DH has been wonderfully understanding tbh. He sounds like a gem. Don't let your own mistrust ruin that! Of course there is always the possibility that he really did look up that site with dodgy intentions, but I think the likelihood of that is far smaller than you causing your own problems by being overly suspicious of him. Sorry if that's a bit harsh but from your previous posts it sounds like what you want to hear.
    I agree with all of this and really think he deserves the benefit of doubt. I also think this issue is far more about you than him and that you should actually look into counseling to work on your trust issues rather than thinking regular snooping is the answer, there's always going to be something innocent that you're going to be able to read into. It's a bit unfair to cause issues like this in your relationship for no real reason other than your own trust issues.

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    Its possible your DH is telling the truth. I'm as clean cut as it comes with internet use - and yet I've had some very dodgy things open in windows behind my current one and I didn't even realise til I went to close everything down and there was a dating site open that I had certainly never clicked on and other similar things. So it can happen. They pop up in the background when you go to some sites - usually through hacking legitimate sites or other such trickery.

    I agree as well that regular snooping won't actually make you feel any better. It will just keep you in a state of heightened alertness and distrust. I know its hard to step back though. Definitely speaking with a counsellor/psych can help.

    Good luck. What a horrible discovery to make.

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