+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 43
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    594
    Thanks
    746
    Thanked
    287
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Husband's search history shows brothel

    Hi all, I'm absolutely devastated. I have trust issues which stem back to my childhood; my husband has done nothing as far as I know to make me suspicious. Intermittently however, to put my mind at ease (or so I thought) I check my husband's Google search history/emails/messages. He knows I do this & I have his passwords so I can. This time, somewhere in the last 10 days a search for a brothel local to us came up, then two further entries like he'd looked at profiles of prostitutes. My husband was in the shower at the time I searched & I immediately asked him about it. He denies ever even doing the searches. His claim is that it must have been when he was driving & used the Google version of Siri to find a massage in the area (he has a bad back & used to see a chiro so I could possibly see him trying to get a massage). Although he claims he doesn't even have any recollection of seeing those entries come up. He says he's innocent. He said he'll take a lie detector test if I want. He said he'd never do anything to jeopardise our marriage or what we have together. I'm heartbroken, I've googled it extensively to see if something you never searched can come up in your search history & I can't see anything. We are going to call Google Australia when they open at 9am & ask them; although I don't know how far I'll get. I feel like trust is broken, like I don't believe he never did the search. I feel like our marriage is over & can't see a way forward. How do I keep going? How do I move on?
    Last edited by ertgirl; 06-10-2015 at 07:17.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    1,836
    Thanks
    1,415
    Thanked
    796
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I'm really sorry that you are going through this. Would seeing a counselor together help?

    The fact that he knows that you go through his phone/emails etc makes me think that he hasn't done it on purpose but you know him best and if you feel he has broken your trust then you need to either work on it together (by seeing a counselor) or decide if you want to stay together. I know I would be going down the counseling road if I was in your shoes.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Happymum2 For This Useful Post:

    ertgirl  (06-10-2015)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    7,160
    Thanks
    1,701
    Thanked
    3,395
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Has your DH ever given you reason not to trust him? Or his word?
    If the answer is no .... then I think you need to move on. I don't think Google Australia or lie detectors are going to solve the problem.
    I'm sorry you have trust issues....it seems like your DH has done things to help you trust him (like checking his computer etc). Seems that maybe attending some counselling to help sort out those trust issues might be useful.
    If he has given you reason not to trust him then maybe seeking counselling together is a good idea.

  5. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Tamtam For This Useful Post:

    babyla  (06-10-2015),ertgirl  (06-10-2015),MonkeyMumma  (06-10-2015),Mrs Tickle  (27-12-2015)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    With all those ads that can pop up when you are online I can see how something like this might turn up innocently in someone's browser history.

    Has there been anything else to make you suspicious? If not can you let it go? I'm afraid that if you continue to be so untrusting of your hubby/checking his messages and browsing history, calling google etc... That (and not necessarily any infidelity) may be the writing on the wall in terms of your relationship.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    ertgirl  (06-10-2015),MonkeyMumma  (06-10-2015)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    4,589
    Thanks
    1,303
    Thanked
    2,569
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    If you use Siri many random things will pop up in your search history.
    I would suggest some counselling for yourself to work on your trust issues.
    I hope your husband is ok.

  9. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Lincolns mummy For This Useful Post:

    ertgirl  (06-10-2015),MonkeyMumma  (06-10-2015),Mrs Tickle  (27-12-2015)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    594
    Thanks
    746
    Thanked
    287
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks each of you for the advice/wisdom. I really do value some other people's perspective, so Thankyou for being honest. I have bipolar II & can tend to catastrophise at times & was wondering if that is what's happening. My perspective seems quite skewed right now. He has never given me any reason not to trust him. He is a musician so is out late nights doing gigs (while I look after our son) & he goes away for work so a fair bit of trust is required. I fully own my trust issues in the sense that they're my issues, not his. We agreed when we first got serious (6 years ago) that if it made me feel safer then I should go through his phone etc. I love him more than I can say & so want me to be wrong about this. He's a loving, awesome Dad & a very thoughtful, loving partner. I just didn't want to be being a fool by believing him. Also, everything else that was in his search history was so 'him' so I didn't understand how something could come up that he never searched.

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    795
    Thanks
    3,030
    Thanked
    695
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Your search history is dependent on a lot of things. Just because it comes up in the search box doesn't mean it's actually something you've ever looked at. Google algorithms takes everything you've searched, all the websites you've visited, the types of things you're looking for, and uses that information to find suitable matches (like when you're googling something for the first time and it auto-generates possibilities). If he's been looking for massage places, and perhaps looking up places where he's doing gigs, it's possible that they've just come up at some point as targeted advertising.

    Seriously, Google is crazy. Everything is linked up these days - it knows all about you and uses that information to target things at you, particularly advertising. And don't forget pop-ups. They come up in your internet history too, even if you don't click on them.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to snowqu33n For This Useful Post:

    ertgirl  (06-10-2015)

  13. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,105
    Thanks
    892
    Thanked
    630
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger
    Im sorry you found that in your DHs search history, that must be very upsetting for you. Just a thought, does your husband have a receipt from his massage or a credit card statement, something that could be tangible proof to put your mind at ease.

    It's a hard situation, I think if your DH has never given you reason to distrust him in the past I wouldn't be breaking my marriage up over one search history. I also think counseling, either for both of you as a couple or just you on your own would be helpful.

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mama Mirabelle For This Useful Post:

    ertgirl  (06-10-2015),Pusheen The Cat  (15-10-2015),SuperGranny  (07-10-2015)

  15. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    369
    Thanks
    435
    Thanked
    191
    Reviews
    0
    From what you've said, your DH sounds like a very patient & open man. I believe his story.

    Something similar happened to me a few years ago. It eventually came out that my H at the time DID search for prostitutes. His story was never believable at the start I just wanted to believe him.

    I would take his word on it and keep watch gor any other suspicious behaviour.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to BerryDelicious For This Useful Post:

    ertgirl  (06-10-2015)

  17. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    9,893
    Thanks
    3,054
    Thanked
    5,860
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    You know what? I'd probably give him the benefit of the doubt on this one.

    If he really was deliberately searching for brothels/prostitutes, he would more than likely have deleted his search history (especially considering he is aware that you check his search history).

    Siri often mishears what you say - I recall using Siri for something innocent and I got the details of a local 'adult' shop come up!

  18. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Degrassi For This Useful Post:

    ertgirl  (06-10-2015),JR03  (06-10-2015),turquoisecoast  (07-10-2015)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 20-06-2015, 08:49
  2. Porn and dating sites in history of internet.
    By onkybear in forum General Chat
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 17-06-2015, 10:48
  3. What to search ebay help needed
    By LoveLivesHere in forum General Chat
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 20-01-2015, 12:27

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Ro and Co
Ro and Co kids cooking classes and parties are a fantastic way for children to experiment with food. The classes and parties are designed to be both educational and fun, giving your child the skills they need to be confident and creative in the kitchen.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!