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  1. #791
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    @winsor fruck r**** fruck. you were pregnant and it wasn't in your mind - i so get how important this is to hear. Im so sorry, to get your hopes up for a little is so nice and then the crash... I know what you mean about giving you some kind of satisfaction that it started. This too is my experience and its why I think Ive become numb. I just want to send you a huge hug. Its hard to see that potential and then it ripped out away from you. Go to town on ALL the naughty stuff that makes you feel good!!

    If anyone has heard Sarah Blasko's "only one" new song about being in love.. Im pretty sure its about her new baby and I think its beautiful but a little crushing to me. Every time I hear it something about it makes me cry, but I also feel how beautiful that her little boy will grow up and hear it and feel how awesome the love is from his mum. I never want to be bitter about other people. today has been a hard day for some reason.
    @Bongley you sound like me..a little numb to the whole process. I although don't share your negativity about the outcome of all this. And no, sadly Im no psychic. But.. I really feel that it will work for you. And if for some reason it doesnt..as sarah blasko says.."my only one I'm in love I'm gonna give you everything". You have created a beautiful little human so you are already very lucky

    today has been a hard day with looking at life in a new light. i guess time will ease the bright light thats in my face right now, but i feel a little out of my depth.

    its funny how in real life no one really understands the depths of this.

    my beautiful kitty cat is cuddling me big time tho

    Im wined up right now so feeling hyped but just wanted to tell you wonderful women how i feel because sometimes it helps to hear another crazy deprived woman who wants a baby going a little nuts! fruck this **** !!!

    DH is away for 2 weeks and i need him back so i can start nagging again and not be htinkging about man cubs )))) Love that whole debacle (can it actually be called a debacle!!!!)

    thanks for listening and glistening
    Humour will get us everywhere.

    Love to all the beautiful women struggling in some form or another XXXXX

  2. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to tuxcat For This Useful Post:

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  3. #792
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    Hi all
    I thought I might introduce myself in here ... Once I found the current IVF over 40 thread that is ... Its a bit prolific ... I'm most likely not going to be able to catch up on the thousands of posts ...

    I started all this at the tail end of 39. I'm now 40 - 41 in Feb next year. I'm single. Live with my collection of rescue animals. I'm in Sydney. Dating does my head in (how many interesting unsolicited photos of phalluses do I need?) and honestly it's too much work. How do you navigate IVF and dating anyway? I wouldn't want to meet someone and have them railroad me. I pick IVF. Gotta try before trying is no longer an option. Really kicking myself for not thinking of this sooner ... for not doing this at 36 or even 30 when I finished Uni. I had a friend offer to be a donor when I was 30 and thanked him and didn't take him up on it - he ended up meeting his partner after this. OMG what was I thinking??!?! Wasted opportunities. Also annoyed I didn't increasing my private health cover sooner!

    I've had 3 rounds of IVF using anon donor sperm and none of them successful. The first was a total flop. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. 11 collected - 8 mature - none of them divided after the 3rd day. Found out on the 5th I had nothing to transfer. Second round was better quality eggs - 8 cell 3dt with nothing left to freeze. I changed donors after two rounds with the first one upon my FS recommendation. Last time with my new donor (actually the donor I wanted the first time but someone got in and took him before me, he was returned to the list when I was looking again so I snapped him up) ... I had an 11 cell 3dt ... But it didn't stick. I think it did hang around for a while, but then ceased ...

    I've started researching and of course kicking myself for not researching more sooner ... I think it was the quality of my eggs not the lack of magic between my genes and my donors. My FS was quite focused on me losing weight and so I was on a VLCD and Im thinking that has not helped my egg quality at all!

    Soooooo I've broken up with my specialist. I've made an appointment with another one recommended to me by my favourite nurse. I see him in 2 weeks. And I've researched food, nutrition and supplements. That will be my focus for the next 3 months.

    In between IVF I have a good amazing friend (32) who strategically puts out for me. He won't be my IVF donor and I respect his choice although I do ask from time to time. Just in case. Cause I'm fond of him and he'd breed well. So, I'm really really hoping that supplements and diet and de-stressing and giving up my beloved coffee and soy will help my eggs mature into what I need them to be. And I hope my friend does his job! A way more affordable and way less invasive option.

    I'm tired. So unbelievably tired. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I don't even know how I'm doing it. I've mostly run out of money/savings so I'm going to be pulling money out of my house ... If the bank asks I'm renovating my kitchen ... So yeah. That's me in a nutshell.

    Thanks for the thread and all the information which I've been slowly reading through ... <3

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  5. #793
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    you sound pretty great @GreyDove. Love your amazing friend thing..like wow. Ok so he won't breed but he's doing his bit so thats pretty nice too. In a way its kind of ideal. You can separate the two things as IVF does absolute WONDERS to your sex life. sigh.

    Yes it is the hardest thing ever. You sound very resolute with your going forwards and its sounding pretty sensible to me. Being over 40 egg quality is your main grievance, so I really think just being as healthy as you can be and taking folate and coq10 is probably all that the medical evidence will prove to have an influence. Try to make sure you are still enjoying life and having fun in there too..

    I hear you about being tired. Its friggin exhausting. I just send you a big hug because it is tiring..all of it

    best of luck!! xxxxxx

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  7. #794
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    thank you @tuxcat. had a little cry reading your post. such beautiful words and just what I needed to hear (read), so thank you. I'm glad you dropped in again now. huge hugs back atcha'
    I guess I need the validation for some sort of closure as I'm getting to the end - if I don't get there in the end (and still I hope I do), at least I'll have this little thing. even if it was only a few days (couple of weeks all up - it's sad it doesn't even count as an age really does it. I don't know whether to think of it as 2 weeks or 4 weeks or 14-17 days or what). I know it's less than losses others have been through (& I don't mean to compare/lessen others), but it's the furtherest I've gotten (to my knowledge).

    love to everyone too

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  9. #795
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    welcome @GreyDove. I hope you have better luck with your new FS and donor. and your friend sounds fun too. I don't think I could do dating either, I didn't prior to meeting my DP at a mutual friend's party - it was all a big fluke really as I hadn't been going out much in ages and had just started to again the week before we met. (plus work travel o/s didn't help much before we met)

    yes, I'd do the folate/pg vitamins & CoQ10 too as @tuxcat & your FS suggested. there's ladies here who've had luck with more complicated protocols too, but I don't know much about them. and rest, yes. it is exhausting.

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  11. #796
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    @winsor,

    I agree with the previous post. You were definitely pregnant, you had a baby inside of you, even if it was just for a few weeks. I very much understand how heartbreaking it is to lose that.
    @GreyDove, welcome to our little group love. It's a hard road but this is a soft place to fall

    AFM - I know everyone else is asleep but I've just come back from my local hospital. I've had some pretty bad cramps, nausea, and (how delightful) terrible diahorrea. God help me.

    Am dosed up with stemetil, panadeine forte and immodium. Hoping this doesn't put a stop to surgery tomorrow.

    Blossom

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  13. #797
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    @Blossom74 Oh Luv!!! That's terrible!!!

    I hope the meds have helped you through the night (though perhaps they should've admitted you??) If it hasn't helped, I hope you've taken yourself off to the big hospital and bugger waiting to ph this morning!!!

    it doesn't cause any probs to your surgery today. Am thinking of you Luvxo


    @winsor Big hugs for you Luv

    I'm and sending prayers you'll get over the line too whether it be squeezing another stim Cycle in or using your frostie...either way, I hope it leads to a BFFP for you Luv!!!
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 16-10-2015 at 05:58.

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  15. #798
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    @tuxcat Aaah Luv!!!

    Your post had me feeling so sad yet at the same time, I couldn't help but have a little giggle at *thinking about Mancubs* line!!! You are funny when you're oiled up on the vino Luv!!!

    I hope you haven't woken up in "Hangover Hell" this morning and that everyday on this new journey into the next chapter of your life helps heal your broken heart I wish for you all the very best that life has to offer...Love, peace and happiness in abundancexo


    @GreyDove Welcome to the thread Luv!!! You're going to fit right in here!!!

    Good stuff having your friend doing his bit for the cause!!! it does the trick and you won't have to do anymore Cycles!!!

    Failing that...Good Luck with your upcoming appointment with your new FS. Hopefully he/she has some new tricks up the sleeve to help get you as many quality eggs on the go as possible!!! and prayers being sent you get over the line one way or another!!!!
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 16-10-2015 at 05:45.

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  17. #799
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    @Bongley Today's the day Luv!!!

    and prayers being sent this is your "Second Chance Sticky" coming your ovens way!!!!


    @Leisylou Good Luck with your appointment today Luv!!!

    I really hope this new FS's approach is something that will suit you better if you do decide to try another Cycle in the not too distant future


    @JulieMalooley What time does your doctors surgery open????

    I'm sure all will be well with your levels Luv!! Enjoy your "working from home" day today....or should that be "BHing from home"????
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 16-10-2015 at 05:59.

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  19. #800
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    @Blossom74 thinking of you today
    @tuxcat thanks for your lovely words, sorry to hear you have been struggling I hope you have some easier days ahead. I also take comfort from my pups when feeling down, pets are so good for the soul. And there's no harm in thinking about mancubs, do what you have to while DH is away I say

    welcome @GreyDove damn, that 11cell on day 3 sounded promising! Your comment on your special friend made me laugh 'he'd breed well' haha, (imagine if guys talked about us like that!) keep working on him, he might come around. You are doing so amazingly well to be doing this (and paying for this!) on your own.
    @JulieMalooley best of luck with your levels today, I'll be stalking you back xx

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