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    Default Vent - high maintenance friends

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    Last edited by Mama Mirabelle; 09-10-2015 at 20:21.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heplusme View Post
    If anything I think you sound a bit high maintenance letting something like that worry you to the point of breaking up a close friendship OP.
    I don't think the OP sounds high maintenance. I think she's gone out of her way to think about what her friend wants by askng her if the dress was ok, then buying a new one when she told that it wasn't ok. I think her friend is being a bit demanding and she just wanted to have an anonymous vent about it...rather than venting to the friend and upsetting her before her wedding.

    But also, if her friend was consistently being demanding and it became a one sided friendship, then distancing herself from the friend would be a smart idea. It's unhealthy and draining to remain in a friendship where the other person is all take and you're all give! You've gotta protect yourself and love yourself enough to walk away.

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  4. #53
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    That's just your opinion/definition of a wedding not a fact.

    IMO a wedding is not all about the bride. It's all about love and commitment.

    So celebrating the life long commitment of the couple and also celebrating love within our families and friends.

    Def a bridezilla in my books.
    This. All of this.

    If you go into planning for a wedding demanding perfection, you are in for disappointment. And worse than disappointment, you will lose sight of what matters - the marriage. You still need your friendships once the wedding is done and dusted and it seems that too often people damage friendships.

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  6. #54
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    Default Vent - high maintenance friends

    Yes it's her day. But, she could have easily asked people not to wear pink in her invite, I had a friend ask people not wear the same color as the bridal party in hers and I put dress code cocktail/lounge on ours. It's pretty easy to let guests know on an invite what to expect.

    The dress is purple. Yes sometimes the color is different in person but I highly doubt that color is going to be close to what she is wearing. If she's going to make such a big ask of somebody, the least she could do is pop by to double check the color.

    There's a difference between wanting your day to be perfect and being unreasonable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frankenmum View Post
    To me my wedding was all about me - marrying my soulmate, about my husband - getting to show me how much he loves me, about my mum - watching her first child get married to someone they love, about my dad - getting to have that special moment of walking his daughter down the aisle, about my grandma - revelling in the admiration she got for making my wedding dress, about my IL's - getting to watch their son marrying someone who makes him happy, about my sister & best friends - getting to be bridesmaids for the first time and being shown how much they mean to me, about my guests - getting to share the joy of the day and have a damn good party!

    The only thing that I passionately INSISTED upon for the day was that everyone relaxed and had a great time! And they did.

    My wedding was about getting to share my joy with all the people I love, and them getting to have those memories and moments that they will cherish too...not about me getting all the attention and using it as an excuse to make demands of others.

    ...but maybe that's just me?
    Nope def not just you. I was the same. I honestly could have cared less what colour dress my guests wore. Or how much money they gave (we didn't have a Wishing Well), or how perfect the day must be. I was there to marry the love of my life. All that stuff didn't even factor in. I spent the evening mingling, making sure everyone was happy and beaming from ear to ear bc I had married my soul mate. May sound sappy but that was my wedding.

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    If she rocks up in a magenta pink shade I might understand. But if she rocks up in a dress nothing close to the colour of your dress after she saw a pic I would be ropable.

    I don't think the OP sounds high maintenance at all. I didn't read the white party thread but WTF??? Who does that?? She's been very understanding, more than 90% of the rest of us would be! I think the consensus was most of us would nod and smile and wear the dress anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heplusme View Post
    If anything I think you sound a bit high maintenance letting something like that worry you to the point of breaking up a close friendship OP.
    OP asked her friend to view the dress, friend refused and asked her to, basically, "just not wear it". OP went and bought a new dress (even if it wasn't a maternity dress- which is an expensive item- it's still something she didn't want) to please her friend.
    OP has stated she is upset and waiting/distancing so that she does not say something she will regret.

    I have no idea where you are seeing high maintenance from that.

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    @Mama Mirabelle I totally avoid these types of people/friendships. Maybe thats why I am a bit of a loner... just too hard x

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    All I'm saying is some people are unreasonable. That is their expectation of their day. In some people's eyes they are paying lots of money for you to attend, it's not compulsory you do. I don't think it's a great attitude to have either but you need to accept that that's what the bride/groom/party thrower want.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    OP asked her friend to view the dress, friend refused and asked her to, basically, "just not wear it". OP went and bought a new dress (even if it wasn't a maternity dress- which is an expensive item- it's still something she didn't want) to please her friend.
    OP has stated she is upset and waiting/distancing so that she does not say something she will regret.

    I have no idea where you are seeing high maintenance from that.
    Let's face it, the friend prob thinks she's just asked her not to wear pink, has been too busy to drop in and look at it and hasn't given it a second thought. I think if money was an issue the OP should have insisted the friend dropped in or she drop over to the friends, just have explained that maternity wear is hard to come by. I'm sure the friend would have understand, she just probably doesn't even realise she's being unreasonable.

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