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  1. #11
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    Hi again @Hopeful,

    Oh honey, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. It is such a painful thing to go through and you really wouldn't wish it upon your worst enemy. I'm pleased there were no complications with the D&C, and yes, you're right - you do need time to heal, both physically and emotionally, before trying again.

    Men seem to grieve in their own way, very different to us. I know that I like to talk things out, have a plan, and know how I'm going to move forward. My hubby, a man of few words, is the strong but silent type. He doesn't have much to say about anything and just keeps himself busy with work. I'm sure he hurts as much as I do, he just shows it differently.

    It is also completely normal to be selfish at this time. You are grieving the loss of your baby and probably have a million emotions going through your mind. Sadness, of course, at the loss of your much longed for baby. Perhaps anger, that your body has betrayed you, and that you have been robbed of something so precious to you. Fear, that you may not ever get past this (You will! You'll never get over it, but you will learn to live with it!) Foolishness - how could I ever have been so stupid to think something so good could happen for me? All of these are completely normal as you navigate your way through your grief.

    Like you, I know this pain now all too well. I had a bleed on Friday of last week and a scan showed my pregnancy had ended. My body does not want to seem to let go of it though, so I think I'll be heading down the D&C path shortly myself. It is a terribly painful time.

    I wish you all the peace and healing thoughts I can muster @Hopeful. I really hope that your physical recovery is quick and that in time you might feel ready to try again. Until then though, please take care of yourself. Allow yourself this time to mourn your loss.


    Krysta xxx

  2. #12
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    @Wise Enough.
    Thanks for the kind words. I hope to get my take home baby soon, more than anything. I'm sure that with that statistic I more than likely do know someone it's happened to but I think as I'm only 25 most of my friends are only just starting out and having their first pregnancies. Which seem to be going off without a hitch. I'm so happy for them though. I guess I'm that statistic right now. Can be a lonely place to be. I'm sure with every day I'll heal a little more though.

    @krysta
    I'm so so sorry that it looks like you are going down the miscarriage/ D&C route too. Your kind words and advice have helped me so much through all this. And I'm so so hoping that everything works out for you in the end and you are able to heal. Coming on here and seeing the posts has seemed as if others are there beside me and I'm truly thankful for all the kindness you have shown. I'm just so so sorry for your loss. I'm finding everyday a little easier and hope that you will also find peace. Sending many many positive thoughts your way!

  3. #13
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    Thank you @hoping11, for your kind words.

    You are definitely NOT alone love, there are many, many women who have (unfortunately) walked in our shoes before us. No-one can truly understand the pain of losing a child (whether that be an Earth child or not) unless they have been unfortunate enough to have experienced it themselves.

    I am scheduled for D&C on Friday. Whilst I am immensely sad about how the whole thing has turned out, I will be very relieved to close this chapter of the book.

    Hope you are doing well love. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me.

    Blossom74
    (formerly Krysta74)

  4. #14
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    I was similar to your story in April. I had all the right symptoms however my bloods were always slightly low.

    Ultrasounds kept showing the baby was growing just not enough... We had a fetal pole and everything and on my final ultrasound there was even a slow heartbeat. But a week later the heart had stopped beating and it hadn't grown at all in that week and that was when we knew... If the bloods hadn't started off slightly low I would have gone all the way to 10 weeks completely ignorant... There was no other signs anything was wrong...

    If you google you will see lots of stories going either way. Honestly the bloods going down is the biggest factor that may point towards bad news but there is always hope until there is not.

    Big hugs btw. I remember that period so vividly. It wasn't so much losing it, more the cycle of hope then disappointment... It's a hard time but I hope your story has a better ending than mine.

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    Blossom74  (18-10-2015)

  6. #15
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    I'm so sorry that you are having to have the d&c Krysta. I know exactly what you mean about being sad but also glad that you are able to close this chapter. This is exactly how I have felt. Although each day brings new emotions. It has been really great talks v to you

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  8. #16
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    I'm so sorry that you are having to have the d&c Krysta. I know exactly what you mean about being sad but also glad that you are able to close this chapter. This is exactly how I have felt. Although each day brings new emotions. It has been really great talking to you. As well as the others on this board providing insight and positive thoughts. As I know there are many women who have unfortunately walked in these shoes not many of them speak of it in person. And it can feel a lonely place to be. Coming on here and seeing your kindness and insightful words has really given me some strength through this. I feel as though posting in these boards was really a plea for help in a way and feeling that there is someone there who understands has been a great comfort. I hope so much that your D&C goes well (even though it's such a terrible thing to go through) and that you find peace and happiness in your situation. And that if you do decide to try again you are blessed with a sticky bean! If that is not the path that you take though, I'm sure you will find peace and happiness within yourself. After everything you deserve it!

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  10. #17
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    My first pregnancy was a blighted ovum and I had to have a D&C around 11weeks. I remember feeling a bit robbed that the innocence of pregnancy was gone for me.

    I was incredibly anxious in my next pregnancy especially as I bled most of my first trimester. I did have a wonderful pregnancy and have a beautiful daughter.

    Wishing you a healthy pregnancy very soon. I fell straight after my D&C before my period returned.

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    Blossom74  (18-10-2015)

  12. #18
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    You've just described my journey this past week in a nutshell so I can say you are not alone and I'm sorry you had to go through this too... I really pray that you find comfort soon as well... If you ever want someone to have a whinge and cry with happy to do that...

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  14. #19
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    Oh I just found you again on this forum I feel so much for you! As with all the other ladies I feel for you and am always happy to have a chat with you. I too am 25 and have fallen pregnant on literally our first time. We went unprotected once and BAM! we got the positive test. We've been together 7 years and married for 6 months. It's an awful thing to have happen but us women are strong and I have no doubt you'll get through it with love and support I had a huge day yesterday finding out my pregnancy was a MMC and after having a big break-down I've been able to look at it in a positive light, well as positive as I can be all things considered. D&C is scheduled for tomorrow and I'm a little nervous but only about going under without anyone there with me, I've been under once and was so terrified they let my mum in, so I'm crossing my fingers they'll let my husband in this time. A couple of suggestions given to me , which may help you, they may not. One was to think of a name for your little bean and write it in the sand at the beach and watch the waves wash it away. It helps to let go. Another was to go somewhere you can't go often, if ever again, somewhere like the bush and plant a tree. That way you're putting the life you lost into something but not being able to check on it means you won't be devastated if something happened to it Let me know if you need to chat xx

  15. #20
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    Hi mortonio
    So sorry you are going through this also. I've been on all the loss forums looking for comfort
    Your story reminds me a lot of mine. I still can't believe this happened at 25. I guess because everyone kept reassuring me with " you're young and healthy everything will be fine" I think the reason I was looking for reassurance in the first place is cause deep down I knew something was wrong. uts been a really rough time but I am trying to be positive and think that there was something wrong with this baby and my body took care of it so they wouldn't suffer. Going on these boards and seeing so many women go on to have successful pregnancies helps as well. Again I'm so so sorry you we going through this, it's the most awful experience. I hope they do let your husband in with you, I was scared of going under as well but it is super quick and the people at the hospital were so wonderful and caring. Will you be going to a hospital or your ob office? I hope you are able to stay positive but I also know things definitely go up and down emotionally. Just know whatever you feel is right! For me it hasn't gotten better but it has gotten different. It's like it's still there but each day i am able to get through is an accomplishment. Your suggestions to cope are great, I love the idea of planting something somewhere I don't go cause I'd be devastated if something happened to it in my garden. I'll also be getting a piece of jewellery with what would have been my baby's birth stone. We will always miss our baby but hopefully this is just a destination on our journey to motherhood. If you do decide to try again, sending you so much baby dust! I'll be sending you positive vibes through your D&C. If you feel up to let me know how you are doing. Hugs.


 

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