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  1. #1
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    Default Any advise

    Think I posted this in the wrong spot before. Sorry everyone!
    Should I give up all hope?

    Hi everyone
    I'm having a really hard time. My partner and I were lucky enough to fall pregnant the first cycle trying. I think I ovulated between the 22nd and 25th of August. I got a positive test 2nd September. So between 8-11dpo.

    Around tje 12th September some symptoms started. Sore breasts and fatigue. These faded and disappeared by the 15th.

    I began to feel like something was wrong. We had the dating scan on September 29 with should have been 7 weeks. The crl only measured 5.5 weeks and no heartbeat was detected. The technician was not worried and said dates could be off.
    My dr on the other had said that in order to get that positive test I would have definitely been 6.6weeks and bun would have heartbeat.

    I had blood taken and HCG was 23000 48hrs later it dropped to 22000. My dr said this is a bad sign and she is 99.9% the baby didn't make it.
    I'm so shattered and just want this to be over.
    As I haven't passed the baby I'm still clinging to this hope but I don't want to be crushed again.
    I would like some opinions and would like everyone to be honest.

    Are all of these signs pointing to a missed miscarriage? Would anyone else still be hoping? Has anyone had a similar experience? I would like to hear then no matter what the outcome was.
    Sorry for the novel. I'm just so devastated and any support would be welcomed.

  2. #2
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    Default Any advise

    So sorry you're going through this, I had a missed miscarriage in June so I know what it's like to try and hold onto hope when your body isn't showing signs of miscarrying. Unfortunately there are many reasons your dr knows a pregnancy isn't viable, it's not just about no heartbeat so she is probably right in this case, your bloods dropping is another big sign.

    The OB who did my d&c did another scan for my peace of mind and pointed the screen towards me and showed me all of the reasons she knew the pregnancy had ended, this helped me come to terms with it a lot as like you it was hard not to think maybe the dates were just wrong and if I gave it longer it may be ok, but I knew when I conceived so the dates being wrong was too slim a chance.

    Reasons in a scan she knew the pregnancy had ended were:

    --the size of the sac. If it was still the yolk sac it was too big, if it was the amniotic sac the embryo was far too small for the size of it.

    --no blood flow through/to the embryo. Besides no heartbeat she could tell there was no blood getting to it.

    --my ovary. She could tell which ovary I had ovulated out of and that it had stopped producing the hormones. Your hcg dropping is probably also a sign of this.

    Is your dr planning on another scan in a weeks time to confirm?

    Good luck. X

    Eta: I'm currently pregnant again, 6 weeks so will have a viability scan next week. But just wanted to give you hope that hopefully since it was easy to conceive this pregnancy it will be easy again. Miscarriages are unfortunately common and more often than not it doesn't mean something is wrong with you, it's just sh*t luck. Take care of yourself and give yourself time to grieve this loss. X
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 04-10-2015 at 19:48.

  3. #3
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    I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm afraid HCG reducing is never positive. Hugs.

  4. #4
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    Hi @hoping11,

    I am so sorry you are going through this. Potential loss is such a scary thing to face and sometimes 'the fear of not knowing what comes next' is the hardest part of all.

    I am in a similar boat to you I'm afraid. 41 years old, first pregnancy thanks to IVF, and after a minor bleed at 6w2d a week ago, I had an US which showed an empty gestational sac - no yolk, no fetal pole, no baby.

    I was sent home with the advice that "maybe it was just too early" (hmmm, not a lot of wriggle room for date discrepancy with IVF, Doctor!) and to come back for a repeat scan. My clinic said "It doesn't look good for you, stay at home and wait to M/C" and my OB said "just hold onto hope."

    I know from personal experience that there is nothing I can say or do to help ease your mind. And I know that no matter how many people tell you to keep positive it is easier said than done when faced with such an unknown.

    You do hear of miracle cases though, of dipping HCG and naughty hiding embryos that pop up a couple of weeks down the track! Obviously we can't guarantee anything in life, but what I would say to you is this: Don't let anyone rush you into making a rash decision.

    I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and that I am thinking of you at this difficult time. I wish you peace and calm no matter what the outcome, and I hope for both of us it turns out to be a positive one.

    My very best to you,

    Krysta
    Last edited by Blossom74; 05-10-2015 at 12:29.

  5. #5
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    Thanks everyone for the replies.
    There is a lot of support here which I'm always thankful for.
    It really is just such a scary time.
    I'm only 25 and just never ever thought my pregnancy would be anything like this. This baby is so so wanted by my partner and I.
    We have been together for 8 years and have always wanted a baby but we waited till what we though was the perfect time. When we both had good jobs etc. to have this happen is just a punch in the guts. Especially when so many of our friends are falling pregnant and delivering healthy bubs without any issues. Of course I'm happy for them but can't help to feel jealous at the same time. Everyone tried to reassure me through this pregnancy but to be honest I just knew something wasn't right. It's just so hard not to cling to hope that it's just all a big mistake. Especially since my body hasn't miscarried yet and isn't showing any signs of it. To be honest I want this to be over so I can pick up and start again but so scared of this happening again. In a way I feel it would be for me to miscarry completely and feel it's over. But to still be carrying the pregnancy makes me feel so lost. I'm scared of the risks of a D&C but I also run a daycare from my home and am scared of having it happen naturally while I'm looking after other people's babies. I don't know what to expect. At least being able to talk to others on here is a way to release some of these emotions (even though I may be rambling) it's just so hard when you haven't told many people. Thank you so much to everyone for the support and I'm so sorry for the losses that have been experienced or are experiencing x

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    Everything you are feeling is completely normal, @Hopefull11. I have younger sisters who have all had babies, and whilst I love my nieces and nephews dearly, they are a reminder of what I don't have myself. It is natural to grieve the child you feel is missing from your life I think.

    Krysta

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    Hi @hoping11,

    Just wondering how you are doing love?

    Krysta

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    Hi Krysta
    Thanks for thinking of me
    To be honest I'm not coping very well at the moment. I had the D&C on Thursday and it went well medically speaking. I thought that I'd begin to heal after knowing it was all taken care of but things have been so tough. I can't bring myself to cross the threshold of my door. It's so strange to think I'm not pregnant anymore. On the operating table I broke down. The last thing I remember is saying goodbye to my little bean. Even though I know the baby's heart stopped almost two weeks before. I feel so changed. Like I've lost a part of me I'll never get back. No one I know has experienced this and I have no one to talk to. Of course I have my dear partner who has been amazing but I know he is hurting too and it hurts him to see me in so much pain. I so badly want to try again but I'm in the healing phase physically and obviously can't even start trying for two weeks. I feel as if these days are just dragging along. I got pregnant so quick last time which was lucky so I know that possibly won't happen again. I just so badly want a baby I can take home. The thought of ttc and not getting BFP soon plays on my mind as well as this happening again if I do fall. I don't know if I could handle all this again.
    Gosh I'm so sorry for off loading all this! When I saw your mention I just kept typing and typing :/ I guess I just don't know anyone who has gone through this kind of loss. It's only been three days so I'm hoping everyday is a step towards healing and that I might feel better soon. Thanks so much for the thoughts though.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to hoping11 For This Useful Post:

    Blossom74  (12-10-2015)

  10. #9
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    Gosh I didn't even ask how things have gone for you krysta? I've become an emotionally selfish person this week and that's not usually me. Did you get any answers about your pregnancy??

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to hoping11 For This Useful Post:

    Blossom74  (12-10-2015)

  12. #10
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    Give yourself time Hun. And I guarantee people you know have gone through this, the statistic is 1:4. Most people don't talk about it which makes it really hard, as you feel alone when it happens to you.

    It will always hurt but time will make it easier. Be kind to yourself. I hope you get a take home baby soon.

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    Blossom74  (12-10-2015)


 

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