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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I'd never take my baby/toddler to a p&c thing or to canteen duty or uniform shop how does that work? I do think that getting involved more in the school would be helpful but I couldn't take my little explorer with me. And the honest truth is that I'm not very social which is part of my downfall. I like having a few close friends / family that I'm really comfortable around. I can strike up conversations at times in playgrounds but never take it further iykwim. I've lived lots of different places and had no problem fitting in when I was young and single without kids. I had lonely times due to my introverted personality but overall there was this independence and freedom to move areas / jobs etc, take up new hobbies etc. now there is so little time to explore options... Ugh sorry I hate this poor me mentality I'm in I just can't shake it. I think probably it was a mistake to emigrate with kids. I'm just not the right personality for getting out there and finding a new community.
    You are going to have to bite the bullet if you want your loneliness to be resolved. You've mentioned previously that the close friends you have are drifting away as they work and you are stuck at home. So fix it. Either find part time work or try finding new friends.

    Nothing will change unless you try and change your circumstances. I understand that it can be daunting but nothing ventured/nothing gained.

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    Freyamum  (30-09-2015),sunnyflower  (30-09-2015)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    You are going to have to bite the bullet if you want your loneliness to be resolved. You've mentioned previously that the close friends you have are drifting away as they work and you are stuck at home. So fix it. Either find part time work or try finding new friends.

    Nothing will change unless you try and change your circumstances. I understand that it can be daunting but nothing ventured/nothing gained.
    I am going to agree with R&A. I know your DD is clingy and you are unsure about putting her in care. My DS is still super clingy still at 2.5 and I think having him in care has helped him gain some independence. And he is fine once he is there.

    Also maybe volunteer on weekends? Your DH can take over carting kids around extra curricular activities and you can update some skills and meet new people.

  4. #13
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    Default How to get a life?

    You can't take a child to canteen. But there are heaps of other things you can do. I was the canteen treasurer for 2 and a half years. I have no accounting background and it was tricky but it kept me busy when I wasn't working and helped me to go to know a lot of people.

    I also ran the school book fairs for a few years. Kids can always be a part of that.

    You are going to have to either accept your situation or change the way you feel about putting yourself out there. It's one of the easiest ways to make friends.
    Last edited by Sonja; 30-09-2015 at 18:59.

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  6. #14
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    I'm not sure about other P&C meetings but at my daughter's school, it is in the evenings.

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I'm not sure about other P&C meetings but at my daughter's school, it is in the evenings.
    Ours too.

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    Activities you can take your toddler to:

    Library toddler/baby time.

    Playgroup - some mums in my playgroup go to more than 1 during the week so don't feel like you can only go to 1. Our PG also does an mum night out once a term which I love going to - great way to interact without kid distractions.

    Swimming - either normally or go to swimming lessons/baby swim sessions (our pool does baby sessions for reduced rates a couple of times a week).

    Walking groups/exercise classes where you can take bub with you, there are often lots around if you start looking.

    Once you get out there and start meeting people, you'll start seeing them around at the shops, walking, playgrounds etc etc and the sense of community begins (at least for me). It will go a long way to easing that isolated feeling and hopefully you'll start building some friendships. I haven't met one mum yet who isn't willing to have a friendly chat!

    Look into childcare for your toddler so you can get a day for some breathing room/space as you sound like you need a break too.

    Good luck

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  10. #17
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    Thanks for all the replies. Tbh i wonder if much of how I feel is hormonal / lingering pnd as when I feel bad I feel so bad and then I snap out of it and it's like the dark clouds part. Not that social isolation isn't still an issue just not insurmountable. Unfortunately we had a terrible winter term with sickness in our house so I made it to no playgroups or pretty much anything with bub that's definitely a priority next term.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    You can't take a child to canteen..
    You can at our school. The canteen has a small, gated playroom in the canteen for the kids to play, so I think it just depends on the school and if they cater for parents with non-school aged kids.

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  13. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    Thanks for all the replies. Tbh i wonder if much of how I feel is hormonal / lingering pnd as when I feel bad I feel so bad and then I snap out of it and it's like the dark clouds part. Not that social isolation isn't still an issue just not insurmountable. Unfortunately we had a terrible winter term with sickness in our house so I made it to no playgroups or pretty much anything with bub that's definitely a priority next term.
    Take it from someone who has really bad depression in the past ( not pnd) , you are going to feel better doing something . You aren't going to feel better doing nothing. Good luck.

  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    You can at our school. The canteen has a small, gated playroom in the canteen for the kids to play, so I think it just depends on the school and if they cater for parents with non-school aged kids.
    That's great. I've honestly never seen it so I probably should have qualified what I wrote. Also canteen goes for 3 and a half hours which is a long time for small kids (you can do shorter hours but they prefer the whole morning in my experience).


 

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