I haven't worked in 8 years. Hardly see any friends since surprise baby #3 was born 15mths ago. No family in the country. I'm so busy all the time with kids and house I've lost me completely. I've known that for a while but things are getting worse now at home as I can't talk to dp about how I'm feeling (he doesn't do feelings) but I have nothing else on my mind but kids, housework or how lost I'm feeling so we are barely speaking. I almost miss the fighting stage we went through. I know the main issue is that I have nothing else. I don't think I belong in this house, in this country I feel like an onlooker into my own life. I want to shake myself and tell myself to get it together but I can't figure out where/ how to start putting myself back together. I can't stand up for myself and say I need time to do xyz as I don't have anywhere to go or anything to do. Weekdays it's all about looking after baby, getting kids to school, cooking yada yada. Weekends it's about more kids activities, me being home to get baby to sleep and house maintenance. I don't leave my tiny suburb. Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I was a housewife in Afghanistan and then sometimes I think it might be better cus the women usually have other women around doing their crappy work all stuck at home together. How twisted is that train of thought?!? Argh I need a big change in my life.