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  1. #1
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    Default From two to three children??

    Ok, so having my first child was a daunting but easy decision, number two was a very easy decision, but with number three, myself and my husband are undecided. I certainly don't feel 'done' with having babies which I thought I would feel after the birth of my second child. My husband is content with having just two. I guess I'm curious as to whether anyone else found the decision to have three kids a hard one, what life is like with three and if you ever really feel 'done' with having babies or is it just a case of ignoring those hormones altogether!

  2. #2
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    Subbing!
    I've just had my second bub a week ago and the same as you, my first and second were very easy decisions.
    I just can't imagine not having a newborn ever again or not being pregnant ever again so thats what makes me think we will have a third later on down the track.

  3. #3
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    Disclaimer I still have a newborn too.
    I knew the instant after my 2nd was born I wasn't done. What sealed the deal for me was the fact that I was on haemorrhage watch for suspected retained product and dr Google suggested worst case scenario was a hysterectomy.
    The thought I would never have kids again was very upsetting.
    Another reason I know we're not done- we Ttc our 2nd a few months after our first turned 1; for our 3rd we are waiting until our 2nd is 2 and the wait is already killing me

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    Hi there, yes, we agonised over going for a third for 4 years. Our first 2 were close in age and the first few yrs of having 2 were really tough! We went for a third when our first was in school and the 2nd one was heading to school when I was on maternity leave. I put my hands up and say I could not have had 3 at home at the same time. Our youngest is now 3- very glad we went for a third- we are more than definitely done now. Going back to having a toddler again has had its challenges. Sometimes we do activities that suit the older ones, but leave the youngest at home.

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    I'm pregnant with my 3rd now. For us it was an easy decision as we were tossing up between 3 or 4, but a lot of our friends have 2 and are really struggling with whether to go on to have a 3rd. I think it's because amongst our group, 2 children is seen as the 'norm', especially if you have a pigeon pair.
    Now that I'm pregnant with my 3rd, I definitely know that this will be my last and DH is getting the snip. I'm looking forward to my pregnant days being over and moving on to the next stage - I've never felt like that with my other pregnancies.

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    I found/find 3 very hard, relentless work.

    2 is nice.

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    Freyamum  (26-09-2015)

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    I have 3, all about 2 year gap.

    I found 3 easy but my third was the easiest newborn ever.

    My youngest is 2 now and it is much busier than 2. Washing, food, playing etc.

    But if you even have an inkling of having another, you won't stop thinking about it. I feel complete at 3 and donor want any more.

  9. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    I found/find 3 very hard, relentless work.

    2 is nice.
    Me too! #3 was not planned. I adore her but it's been really hard even with other kids in school. Forget about baby sleep routines cus you have to pick up kids from school. And all the little pieces older kids have. All the extra washing and cooking and cleaning and just generally so much less me time. Having said that on good days there is a lot of laughter. Toddlers are pretty funny and mine is such good company at times. I absolutely do not want another but I wasn't sure I was done when that slip up happened. I'd probably still be thinking about whether we should've stopped at 2. We have no family in the country / even same Timezone so that's made things a bit harder I think

  10. #9
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    I felt just the same as you OP, after the birth of my DS2 two years ago, although I think my DH was more keen on the idea of a third than I was. I never saw myself with three children, and intellectually I felt that two was the right number for us. But my heart wondered about another. DH and I went back and forth over the first year of DS2's life without making a decision, and we finally thought that we'd put the idea aside for another 12 months and come back to it when DS2 turned 2. Which was this month.

    However... life had other plans for us. We very unexpectedly fell pregnant with #3 at the end of last year. I had a good 24 hours of completely freaking out about how we would handle it and then we fell in love with our surprise baby and the idea of a family of five.

    DD is now almost four weeks old. She has filled a spot in our family that we didn't know was empty. She is definitely meant to be here, having her feels so right and we feel like everyone is now here. I still laugh at the idea of me having three kids in less than four years but I love it, and I love her.

    So far it has been quite relaxed with the three, however I say that after having my Mum here for two weeks, my MIL here for a week and DH home on leave. But I am not too scared about getting back into the normality of life with three, I know we will get there! ABC kids will get a workout, and we have a playroom that I can close off and ignore the mess.

    As far as feeling done - I didn't have that feeling after DS2 was born, which actually made me sad. I wanted to feel done so I would have no regrets down the track. But this time - from the moment we found out she was on her way, we felt done. DH is getting the snip in a few weeks and I'm so excited about moving on to the next phase of our lives.

    I think if you're wondering about a third - go for it. I wouldn't change a thing.

  11. #10
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    I could have written your post! We have a 4yr old ds and a 19mth old dd. Dh is happy to stop at 2 but I have this crazy desire for a 3rd. I'm not sure if that's for the right reasons though. I had pretty cr#&@y birth experiences with my 2 and I feel like I might just be wanting another chance to achieve my dream birth. I also fear that I just want another baby. Not a toddler, a preschooler, a teenager etc just a baby. Either way I 100% do not feel complete but i worry about the impact a 3rd dependant will have on our lives (financially, emotionally and me physically). I had a friend make the comment a while ago 'you will never regret the child you do have but will always regret the one you didn't'.


 

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