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  1. #31
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    It would depend if it was a once off or a regular thing. If it was the former I'd be annoyed but accept it's something small kids do sometimes. If it's happened several times before I'd be wanting it addressed.

    I kind of feel sorry for CC tbh. I was talking to someone who is a CC worker a while ago about this topic and she said it was a bit of a mine field for them bc on one hand they have a duty of care to protect the victims. But on the other, many children who bite do so bc they are placed into care too young for *them* and CC is basically left to deal with it as parents say they have to work and asking the child to leave/cutting hours is then the CC's fault.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    I was the mum of a biter. One day he bit 6 kids. I was so ashamed and freaked out. They assured me it was age appropriate and not to worry. Thankfully he did grow out of it. Your kids bite or they don't. I used to hate the parents that think they were better than me cause their kids didn't bite. Like its was their sh1t hot patenting or something. Anyway, hope your boy is ok.
    I'm not really sure what to make of this.

    I was asking advice and now it's being implied that I think I'm better than parents who's kids bite.

    I asked a few questions. That's it.

  3. #33
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    I didn't read it that way at all. I'm sure that's not what she meant.

    I hope your little one is ok x

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  5. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    I'm not really sure what to make of this.

    I was asking advice and now it's being implied that I think I'm better than parents who's kids bite.

    I asked a few questions. That's it.
    I didn't read it that way either. Your comment about avoiding the child and not asking on play dates etc did get me a bit offside though. I know you want to protect your son and to be fair it sounds like a pretty bad bite, but I would be absolutely heartbroken and devastated if I felt parents wanted and actively set out for their child to avoid my son. He's not a biter, but he does get testosteroney and cave manny and can be a little bit rough. He's also lovely, affectionate, kind, funny and sweet, and I would hate for that all to be overlooked if he bit someone once.

    In fact it's one of my fears that I'll start being the woman in the supermarket where people say 'oh YOU'RE Hubert's mum' *meaningful glance to significant other*.

    I think @lilypily was speaking from that kind of perspective, not saying you think you're better than anyone.

    Anyway, I can sense that you're feeling a bit raw about this and I'm not attacking you, I guess I just hope that your views soften about this particular topic when you're over the initial anger and frustration.

    I'm sorry your son is being picked on. I hope the CC staff would be happy to help support you with this. I hope your DS recovers soon too.

    Andrew Fuller is a great resource about building resilience in children, which I think is really important when they are picked on at a young age. I think he has a couple of Ebooks around.

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  7. #35
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    They're not allowed to tell you who the biter was. It shouldn't make any difference anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    There was an incident report and I did sign that.

    Is it normal for them not to tell you who the biter was?

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    I didn't read it that way either. Your comment about avoiding the child and not asking on play dates etc did get me a bit offside though. I know you want to protect your son and to be fair it sounds like a pretty bad bite, but I would be absolutely heartbroken and devastated if I felt parents wanted and actively set out for their child to avoid my son. He's not a biter, but he does get testosteroney and cave manny and can be a little bit rough. He's also lovely, affectionate, kind, funny and sweet, and I would hate for that all to be overlooked if he bit someone once.

    In fact it's one of my fears that I'll start being the woman in the supermarket where people say 'oh YOU'RE Hubert's mum' *meaningful glance to significant other*.

    I think @lilypily was speaking from that kind of perspective, not saying you think you're better than anyone.

    Anyway, I can sense that you're feeling a bit raw about this and I'm not attacking you, I guess I just hope that your views soften about this particular topic when you're over the initial anger and frustration.

    I'm sorry your son is being picked on. I hope the CC staff would be happy to help support you with this. I hope your DS recovers soon too.

    Andrew Fuller is a great resource about building resilience in children, which I think is really important when they are picked on at a young age. I think he has a couple of Ebooks around.
    Thanks I guess I'm just feeling a bit protective of him and sensitive about it all, I tried to explain in my other post about the 'avoiding' which I am not intentionally trying to be nasty or anything, it's just that at this point in time, with DS going through quite a few issues and seeing a psych, he needs my help to be surrounded by kids who are less likely to lash out at him. As it is he is struggling at daycare and he often says he doesn't want friends, with him being picked on by these boys at daycare and now being bitten, I hope you can see why I am just trying to 'avoid' these situations, to show him that it's good to have friends.

    This is my first time doing this.

    I hope my above post doesn't offend, I just can't find the right words to use to explain it all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    Yes and the mouth carries more germs than other body parts.

    Was just asking as i think it's infected now. We're booked in to see the GP tomorrow morning.
    Yes I know, but they are still kids.

  10. #38
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    Being the mother of a biter. My son actually has sensory issues where it's all about his mouth. Does it when he is anxious, wants attention, frustrated.
    He can not help it. Sensory overload.
    I have not had any incidents where he has bitten children (non existant in his little world) but he has bitten staff.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    I'm not really sure what to make of this.

    I was asking advice and now it's being implied that I think I'm better than parents who's kids bite.

    I asked a few questions. That's it.
    Lilypily and I are talking about each other's kids in our story. My DD was her DSs bitee. If she's having a go at anyone she's having a go at me . But I know she isn't having a go at anyone except those who look down on biters and think their parenting is amazing because they don't have a biter. It's like me thinking I'm doing an amazing job because DD1 is tall.

    By all means be concerned for your DS. I too have issues with some kids at care not being nice to my DD and saying she has a fat bum and is fat etc. When my then 3yo came home complaining about her thighs it broke my heart. So I push her towards the biting kids to play with as they are much less cruel. A bite they usually get over with no lasting damage. I will take that over the psychological bullying some of the other girls are doing.

    So my advice is look at the child as a whole, not at the actions.

  12. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    I'm not really sure what to make of this.

    I was asking advice and now it's being implied that I think I'm better than parents who's kids bite.

    I asked a few questions. That's it.
    A lot of people really don't understand the age appropriate behaviours of biting and some think it's bad discipline etc. I wasn't accusing you of thinking you are sh1t hot just generalising and sharing my experience as the mummy of the biter. I did say I hoped your son was ok as you said you said there was a lot going on with him

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