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  1. #441
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    Dear Outoftime,
    I too created a spreadsheet for each donor we were considering, featuring columns for each of the data variables we deemed to be important. Each row represented a different donor. It is time consuming to enter all the info, but once done, makes it much more simple to review and start to eliminate donors.
    Good not to overthink things, notwithstanding how important a choice this is. That said, we all know people who've had babies with red hair that is traced back to a grandparent, freckles, etc. All to say that even when women use their own eggs and their DP/DH sperm, their offspring can pull-in threads of DNA and corresponding attributes from farther back in their family lineage. Most will end up telling you that "...your baby looks just like you/your husband/mother" etc regardless, because s/he will be yours.
    Best of luck to you making this choice.
    Xoxo
    CJC

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    Outoftime  (28-10-2015)

  3. #442
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    thank you all for you suggestions. Yes ECM I started looking with gift ov life and EDSA then added ababysa and sunshine then added mom2baby to the mix. Worst mistake I could make because me and too much choice just doesn't work. I will ask for more photos and see if that helps me. Sunnygirl and cjocoh, I will try your spreadsheet. That sounds like it will def help. Thank you. What family medical history did you all have as the deal breaker? Unfortunately I have a variety of cancers and thyroid issues and diabeties and epilepsy in my family so I have always assumed one or some would be unavoidable. Difficulty for me is trying to work out what would be hereditary and which would be environmental. .?? Now that I write all that down I'm starting to realise a donor is a good idea so I'm not passing on all these family issues

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  5. #443
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    Outoftime, i went in with specific criteria; hair colour, eye colour and height, brains with sporty coordination. Once I started and struggled with this criteria I would adjust what I was looking for. At the end of the day family medical history became more important. No allergies, glasses, cancer at a young age or mental illness in the family. Its difficult to chose one as I think you're always looking for a little bit of yourself in them and the photos generally ruin that. I chose a soerm donor in 10mins as there's no photos, however an egg donor took me 2mths to find. Good luck with your search.

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  7. #444
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    Hi @Outoftime, my cancer 'deal breakers' were primarily female cancers and hereditary cancers. I also tried to avoid early, sudden deaths (eg before age 60) for any reason apart from misadventure (car accident etc). I avoided adoptions or divorces where the donor was estranged on one side as well on the basis that this meant losing more family/medical history.

    I went for general resemblance rather than a strong resemblance. I went for same childhood and adult hair colour, same skin tone, eye colour, face shape. The photo that did it for me was a family snap rather than a school photo and had similarities to childhood photos of me. My donor is taller than both DH and I and her parents are both 6ft. But my brother is 6'3, my cousin 6'7 and grandma was 6'0 so that didn't matter so much.

    I did the 'filtering' and creating the spreadsheet and grouping in to how close they fit my criteria and then involved DH when it came to the short listing and rank ordering. He was happy for me to do it this way, and it meant fewer disagreements along the way about ones I liked and he didn't. There wasn't so much like/dislike until I had built a list based on the search criteria and we started to look at the interests/hobbies/achievements etc.


    sunny

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  9. #445
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    CJC - welcome to the thread.

    The references to NKC / ANA / Intralipids /a few other things are issues related to what is termed Immunity issues and protocols. Rather than trying to explain it all, do some googling about Natural Killer cells and Immunity Protocols. There is also a book by a US Dr that is basically the bible on the whole topic http://www.babyfriendlybook.com/ . A lot of women who have difficulty in getting/maintaining a pregnancy find that Immunity issues are part of the problem and following an Immune Protocol in conjunction with the DE/IVF cycle means success (I am on of them !).
    CFC was also my Clinic - you are in good hands ! Having said that, they are a Fertility clinic and don't deal with Immunity - for that you need a Reproductive Immunologist (at least in Australia that is what we call them). You may find that in Northern America more Fertility Specialists do Immune stuff too.

    Hopefully that gives you a bit more info and a way to progress. Good Luck.


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  11. #446
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    Hi ladies - I'm weighing up which country to lean toward for a first DE cycle and it seems that one of the main advantages of SA is that you can see the profile of your donor and get a fair bit of information and photos? Did you all have other motivations for choosing this country over others? Also - I understand California Conceptions has the same options but they're most costly?
    Wow so much info to process.
    Was anyone here with Wazza for the South Africa treatment? Thanks MamaKes.

  12. #447
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    Hi outoftime welcome. When I was picking donor I wanted under the age of 25 and healthy history for her and family. I was very strict about this. I also wanted someone who had donated before so she would know what to expect and be comfortable with her medications etc. I also wanted someone in Cape Town in case she had any last minute problems she would already be near the clinic. Maybe the donors have local FS they can see if not in ct but I wanted to be sure. I also ruled out donors with high bmi and smokers. I would have liked someone who looked like me or hubby but in the end it was all about the medical history. My donor baby photos don't resemble me at all, she has brown eyes and me and DH have green. I have curly hair she has straight hair! There was one or two that I felt we had similar interests but they smoked and had some sort of family history of something! I feel I made a great choice and am comfortable with it. I go for ET in a few weeks!! Good luck

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  14. #448
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    @cjocoh71 @ Lolly99 @Jennski i have sent a group PM regarding dates in CT. Hoping ir goes through

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  16. #449
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaKes View Post
    Hi ladies - I'm weighing up which country to lean toward for a first DE cycle and it seems that one of the main advantages of SA is that you can see the profile of your donor and get a fair bit of information and photos? Did you all have other motivations for choosing this country over others? Also - I understand California Conceptions has the same options but they're most costly?
    Wow so much info to process.
    Was anyone here with Wazza for the South Africa treatment? Thanks MamaKes.
    Hi mamaKes
    I went with CFC in South Africa because it was recommended indirectly to me by my fertility Dr here in Perth. I didnt really look at any othere once i found a few good reviews on these forums. I felt like they were a good clinic and just went with it. Im only now looking at other clinics to see what they offer, but looking at clinics in the EU it seems they match you rather then you being able to pick your donor? SA is close to Australia, the cost seem fair and I have had good experiences with the donor clinics and CFC. I have been looking into clinics in Greece but just for curiosity really. So top reason we chose SA were close to australia, donor anonymity, largebdonor database, and cost and also good reviews of the clinic.

  17. #450
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    Thanks @ECM1981.. That's good to know as I really don't have enough to have more than two tries at this and going to SA sounds like it's been a 'quality over price' decision for many of you. I'll have to start looking at flight costs from Brisbane to CT... Happy days!

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MamaKes For This Useful Post:

    ECM1981  (29-10-2015),ferngirl  (29-10-2015)


 

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