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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoteToSelf View Post
    It's great that he loves his food! People have offered some great suggestions about what to offer.

    But, it sounds like he needs some (gentle) firm boundaries.

    `You are hungry, I will get some food but please stop screaming'
    `You are throwing your food, does that mean you are finished?' `You threw your food again, thankyou for telling me you are finished' (take him out of his high chair and set him down'.

    You are the Mum, it is OK for you to sit down and eat too. Some self care and looking after your basic needs is important.

    Maybe acknowledging his screaming will help you cope with it `Please stop screaming, I can't concentrate and I am trying to get your food ready'.

    It is OK for him to learn he needs to wait a couple of minutes while you prepare food.

    I'd strong suggest looking at Janet Lansbury's writing, she is excellent and follows an RIE philosphy'.
    Great advice

  2. #32
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    OP you are going to have to find a way to cope with the crying/tantrum. And I don't mean 'find out how to stop him crying', I mean 'you need to learn to ignore some crying without freaking out'. I say this because he is 14 months old; very very soon he is going to start throwing massive temper tantrums where he throws himself around, on the floor, headbutts, throws things, hits you- just as a few examples... and you need to deal with that, and often the best thing is just to ignore. If you start catering to his every whim and desire, just because you can't listen to his screaming, you are going to end up with a very difficult and spoilt child who will actually cause you a lot of grief.

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  4. #33
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    at 14 months solids should be the main source of nutrients.

    Feed solids first, then milk an hour later. Feeding milk first is probably contributing to bub not taking in sufficient solids then getting hungry a short time later.

    If bub is screaming from hunger then to me that says you've left it too long. Try some type of routine with feeding - so you get solids into bub ahead of bub being ravenous.
    With any routine factor in plenty of meals and snacks. 3 x meals + 2 snacks minimum.
    Eg at 14 months:
    7am wake
    7:15 2 x weetbix and 2 x toast
    8am milk
    10:00 morning tea: banana, cheese, biscuit
    12 lunch- beef casserole and potato. Apple.

    3 arvo tea - Vegemite sandwich

    5pm - dinner - chicken pasta and fruit salad
    6:30pm milk
    7pm bed


    I would also keep offering bub food until bub turns his head away. Don't limit to one weetbix. Keep feeding weetbix until bub turns away. At that age by toddler was eating a couple of weetbix and a couple of bits of toast for brekky.

    I would also follow hubby's advice and try sandwiches and pasta. And keep up the protein. Too much veggies and fruit would leave me starving.

  5. #34
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    Add in some extra fats to his meals. Avocado, olive oil, butter, cream. These will fill him up and satisfy him. Make a creamy, cheesy veggie bake, or steamed veg with butter on them etc

  6. #35
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    Hi Heartstringz,
    Thats fantastic your DS is eating solids now, I have followed your posts about how stressful his non-eating was for you. One thing I do as previous people have advised is to pre-prepare and mean plan for those times when you are going to get caught out with the sudden hunger attack and screaming. For my DS2 its about 5.30pm right when I am preparing dinner for me, DS1 and DH who arrives home at 6pm. DS2 17 months cannot always wait, and it is just too late for his body clock (most people do dinner earlier for a little one but we try to eat some of our meal as a family if we can). So I pre microwave some frozen veggies (the chopped carrot, peas & corn usually) and let his cool a little then give him a couple of spoonfulls on his tray so he can't just throw a bowlful on the floor. He likes to practice picking up the peas etc and separating the different colours so that gets me some time to prep/heat up the next bit of dinner. You could even cook a batch the night before and then only have to warm his little serve up or give to him cold even. It also works for mr 4yo to get his veggies into him when still hungry before he gets meat/potatoes/pasta which he would then choose over the veggies. During the week I rarely cook from scrath, instead I cook extra on weekends and freeze so only have to thaw in microwave or chuck in oven so keeps my hands free instead of trying to cook a steak nicely and get distracted.
    I cannot have milk anywhere in view of him, and likewise he would choose my plate over his and scream & point but not necessarily actually choose anything off it if offered. I think the window for actually wanting to eat is very small with these more high-needs bubs and if there is not food offered immediately then they want to get moving with other things.
    I agree that now is the age not to give in entirely each time he screams (he has to learn to wait a little) however I too have a meltdown if DS2 starts screaming at me - he is absolutely relentless and soooo loud. So far better to be prepared so that as soon as he is hungry you can talk him thru very short wait as PP have said but not let him get too ramped up.
    Not sure how your toddler is with comprehension and "helping mummy" as he's a bit younger than mine i think, but for me that is also a help too. Mine is liable to scream at the pantry door - "cracker...Cracker...CRACKERRRRRR!! even at brekky time but cracker just means food (although cheese is called cheese of course!). So i ask him to help carry the weetbix to the bench, carry some random thing like a tin of soup, ask where we get the milk/bowl/bib from etc which is a good distraction so he knows there is a procedure to follow till he gets his food. Maybe have a spot where he could trundle off a few feet away from you to get his own bib or bowl while you do the microwave?
    Sorry for the ramble, just wanted to share. I think maybe our little ones are related, they sure sound like they are cut from the same mold.

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  8. #36
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    Great to hear he's eating, heartstringz! Your little champion has got the hang of eating, and you were so worried that he wouldn't!

    I've read a few of your threads over the last little while. Now I don't have experience dealing with anxiety myself, and this might be really simplistic or patronising (and I apologise if it is - it's not meant like that at all) but I just wanted to say - do you ever look back and think - I was so worried about that (whatever it might be), but it's turned out alright, and look how far I've come, and look how well DS is doing now?

    I think you should really give yourself a pat on the back for all you've done, and are continuing to do, for your little DS. Raising little ones is really hard work. I have an 11 month DS, and I can't believe how far we've come sometimes, and I think it's good to look back and recognise that from time to time - things were so so hard in the beginning, and now - touch wood - it's a little easier. I hope it is for you too Wishing you all the best.

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  10. #37
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    I'd also try with a routine for meal times. Doesn't have to be strict but breakfast a short while after waking, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and then milk.

    I feed Dd little and often otherwise she will waste too much food.

    She will have a piece of toast for breakfast and a banana.

    A small pouch yoghurt for morning tea, I just hand it to her, she eats it and then pops it in the bin.

    Lunch tends to be a sandwich and sultanas or cheese.

    Afternoon tea is usually something completely random, the other day she had a handful of dry corn flakes and and some strawberries because I didn't know what else to grab. She ate it happily.

    Dinner usually always contains carbs or eggs - Rice with curry, pasta and sauce, veggie omelette etc.

    If she throws food, she's done. If she wants what I have and its different from what I have made her, I will give her a portion on her own plate. I don't mind sharing food at all, but I'm not going to let her take my food so I can't eat when she has her own, no way, I have a right to eat too.

    And I often have a child attached to my leg when I am making dinner, she just has to wait.. The crying doesn't affect me, the pulling on me whilst I'm trying to get things cooked at the stove does so I distract her with utensils or the Tupperware drawer.

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    What i wanted to say as well is that while there might always be new things to worry about, try to take a moment to celebrate progress and your victories too. Hooray that he's eating!

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  13. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    OP you are going to have to find a way to cope with the crying/tantrum. And I don't mean 'find out how to stop him crying', I mean 'you need to learn to ignore some crying without freaking out'. I say this because he is 14 months old; very very soon he is going to start throwing massive temper tantrums where he throws himself around, on the floor, headbutts, throws things, hits you- just as a few examples... and you need to deal with that, and often the best thing is just to ignore. If you start catering to his every whim and desire, just because you can't listen to his screaming, you are going to end up with a very difficult and spoilt child who will actually cause you a lot of grief.
    This is brilliant advice, OP. Kids cry, and chuck tantrums. It's what they do. You have a 14 month old dictating where and when you eat. I know it is anxiety driven, but maybe some parenting classes will help you feel more confident in dealing with the tears and tantrums?

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    I found when I used to get overwhelmed with crying, I needed to take a minute to myself and try my hardest to think rationally..

    Why was Dd crying? - She's crying because she's hungry (for example).

    Is she putting herself in any danger crying and carrying on? - no

    Is she is pain or sick that I can tell? - nope.

    I'd then realise she's fine and I'd make her something to eat, at a normal pace, I'm not going to run around like a headless chook because she's crying at me for food - I'll make her food, but it might take a minute and that's fine.

    Your Ds isn't going to starve in the 5 minutes it takes you to prepare his food, if it's something that will take longer, cook some pasta up the night before while dinner is being made or make his sandwich if you happen to be in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boils for a cup of tea etc.

    while I make my lunch I make Dd's up too even though she usually is napping that way she can have it when she wakes up and it only took me an extra minute while I was in the kitchen.

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