I have 3 things to say:
1. You stud you.
2. Talk about a first world problem
3. Record her... Then play it back and ask her if she wants your children to hear that... 😋
Ps... I heard my parents and honestly it traumatised me beyond words. Don't inflict that on them 😫
Okay so to answer your question II personally don't have much in the way of memory recollection before 5yo. I remember my 4th birthday and a few other certain events but really most of my early memories start at around 5 and 6 hence me starting to worry about my 5 year old hearing us. Obviously in the first 12 years when we had no kids it wasn't an issue (how that didn't register with you I have no idea) and as babies/toddlers I didn't stress all that much as I figured they won't remember
Honestly I am sorry I posted this question here, I visit these forums about twice a month but I tend to lurk than post unless I read something I feel I can contribute to.
You ask me why I don't post, you've just answered your own question, no wonder the Dads chat thread is dead. Jesus H Christ no one is forcing you to read my post.
Anyway to all of you who responded with actual helpful posts, thank you.
pharm I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't think Vic park is alluding to any subconscious issues or repressed memories or "key events" that happened before you were old enough to remember.
if the volume is the only problem, we are happy to accept that. I guess sometimes women interpret when men complain about a "surface issue" it's really just a way to vent about a deeper issue they don't want to admit to. sorry for reading into it!!
if it's the volume during sex only then I suggest you bring the issue up in a non sexual time when you're alone and can chat openly and unguardedly. tell her how you honestly feel and just say you're finding it a put off and why. if I was doing something my husband was finding a turn off in bed I'd hope he would tell me so I could try and meet him in the middle a bit more. you both have a right to enjoy send equally
Speak to her about it in a serious but calm manner. Tell her you find it difficult to completely enjoy yourself because at the back of your mind you are worried the kids will hear. Tell her you love the fact she is enjoying herself and you like pleasing her. Do not tell her it turns you off.
She can turn it down a bit it's not impossible.
I going to assume she is very loud and that you don't expect her to make no noise at all. I do understand where you are coming from I worry about my eldest hearing sometimes... But then we have a gag
Pharm I think if you just tell her you're worried about the kids hearing it and then see where that conversation goes. Like a PP said, don't tell her it turns you off, try and find a way of putting it that makes it about your concerns for the kids.
I heard my parents when I was around 6-8 and it was terrible! The first time I had no idea what they were doing and in the morning I asked dad very innocently "Dad, why were you crying last night?" ...I can't remember what he said but I can imagine the embarrassment!!
I heard my parents a lot as I was growing up, and it never bothered me. As a family, we were quite open about "expressions of love", and it's the same now with us and the kids.
As I got older, I would say to them, "noisy night?" and they would blush and laugh.
I'm louder than H, but hardly screaming (he wishes). He enjoys it, because he knows I am enjoying it.
I know I can be a bit noisy and to be honest I do find I enjoy it more if I can be vocal. However when the kids are home I make sure I be as quiet as I can. I also grew up hearing my parents and it's not a nice thing to have to hear.
My husband and I just try to book a weekend away every now and then where we don't have to worry as much.
Just have an honest conversation with your wife about it. She should be able to atleast tone it down.
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