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  1. #11
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    Thanks ladies..,
    Yeah that's the thing they have been though a lot and I feel huge guilt. Me and two of the kids are in counceling.
    I have brought up parenting classes and relationship counceling but he says "why should I do parenting classes the kids should just behave"

    I feel as though because he does a lot for us he thinks he has a right to tell the kids off if that makes sense.
    He sees I do get stressed sometimes and he says he is trying to help but I say it would help better if he backed off a bit ( or a lot), he expects me to take his side at all times, but it's hard for me.

  2. #12
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    Being verbally abusive is never acceptable. Kids have to come first 100% of the time. For me it would be he seeks counselling or he moves out.

  3. #13
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    Don't give him a choice, give him an ultimatum.ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1442400117.904183.jpg

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  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrDrakeRamoray View Post
    Thanks ladies..,
    Yeah that's the thing they have been though a lot and I feel huge guilt. Me and two of the kids are in counceling.
    Have you spoken to your counsellor about his behaviour?

  6. #15
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    I haven't yet but I am thinking about bringing it up. Thing is she is away for three weeks soon

  7. #16
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    Honestly, he just sounds like a bully. He will damage your children's self esteem and self worth if you allow this to continue. This is not an example of parenting that you want your children to be subjected to. Do not let this continue. You are your children's advocate, they have absolutely no power here. Be a lioness for them.

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  9. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrDrakeRamoray View Post
    I haven't yet but I am thinking about bringing it up. Thing is she is away for three weeks soon
    I would bring it up with her ASAP. This must be your priority. Even if she is going away, she may be able to refer you to another counsellor for the interim.

    I honestly, honestly believe that your DP's behaviour is damaging already fragile children.
    I understand that you want to make changes for the better and I applaud you for that but you need to know that in order to keep making those changes, you might need to move on - especially if he is unwilling or unable to change his behaviour.
    You are the advocate for your children, you need to keep them safe and to protect and nurture them and anyone who treats them with anything less that love and kindness needs to be shown the door.

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  11. #18
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    Default H

    I try and have a say and he still carries on. He leaves to go out or he says " you and the kids treat me like ****"
    Wtf??

  12. #19
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    I don't want to break up. But I don't want my kids to be yelled at and name called. I have threatend to leave and he says sorry.

    I am currently volunteering at a church and they have special sessions with family councelors so I'm going to look into that. Partner gets on with people at the church and he might listen to them.

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    He is calling his step children little ****s??

    My DP is step father to my children and no way in hell would he ever, ever call them that. He does not 'discipline' my children ever, at all. I would flip if he spoke to the kids like that.

    He will redirect them to something else, if they are doing something dangerous he stops them. It never involves verbal abuse.

    He needs to change the way he reacts and walk away when he is that angry and come back when he is calmer. The way he talks to you is not okay either, and I think it would be worth talking to your counsellor about the whole situation.

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