This might be long.. Sorry, bare with me.
I've been with my partner for just over three years. I've got three kids to someone else. We have a child together.
Well what do you do if you and your partner can't agree on discipline?
He rules with an iron fist. He isn't violent, never laid a hand on them, but he yells and screams all the time. As soon as they step one foot out of line he starts ranting and raving saying how bratty they are, calling them "little sh1ts" saying I'm too soft. He makes the rules and that's it. I can't say anything. Now I'm not at all saying my kids are angels, they do fight and carry on, but I'm trying really hard myself not to overreact to everything and not lose my cool. If the kids try and explain something to him ( after he's told them off or dishes out a punishment) he rants and raves and will not listen. He talks over them and me.
This afternoon kids were punching each other ( 2 of them) so he put them in separate rooms. That's fine. I told my daughter while she's in her room to clean it. She did.
She came out after about 10 minutes and told me she had finished cleaning..
Now before I could say anything he carries on and starts yelling at her. Saying "I told you stay in your room until dinner!"
I went to talk to her calmly and I was about to say "good, thanks now just stay in here. Dinner won't be long"
But I get told off!
It gets very frustrating when he won't listen ( even his friends and family get annoyed when he constantly interrupts!)
I am trying to be a calm parent. Not yell ( I still do at times), not hand out punishments left, right and centre and every little thing. If we ( as in all of us in general) want our kids to listen to us then we need to listen to them, I'm not a perfect mum.
My partner does try his best. He's a great dad/step dad to the kids . He does a lot for them. The three older ones bio father isn't in the picture and he has taken over the father role. He goes to kids Father's Day breakfast, took my son to hospital when he split his arm open ( I couldn't).
I don't like when he gets angry though, calling the kids names doesn't help. Arguing in front of them doesn't help.
He wants me to always be on his side too which I find quite hard.
What do we do?