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  1. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I'm inclined to think that we are just defending our position against those who would call us irresponsible. All we are trying to say is that we are not just ignoring our kids because we couldn't care less- it's because we genuinely think it's the best thing to do for them- just like some think the best is to stay close and protect them.
    I think you are inferring too much from what is simply an explanation for OUR reasoning.
    I certainly didn't say in any of my posts that I thought parents couldn't care less or are ignoring their kids if they choose not to supervise from a close distance. I understand you might be trying to explain your reasoning but I guess when I hear things like I'm helping them develop a sense of their ability, confidence etc then that implies that by choosing to stand near my child and warn of dangers etc I'm not achieving those things.
    Ugh maybe a pointless argument.. I actually think both methods probably work equally well and I'm sure it's horses for courses like all parenting.

  2. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You're wrong
    Yes, so your argument is pointless.

    Show us the studies that sit between negligence and helicopter.

  3. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Yes, so your argument is pointless.

    Show us the studies that sit between negligence and helicopter.
    Huh? I'm not sure what you're getting at? Have I done something to upset you? There must be some misunderstanding.
    - Have a squiz at my response to Fearless Leader - hopefully this makes my position clearer.

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  5. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Huh? I'm not sure what you're getting at? Have I done something to upset you? There must be some misunderstanding.
    - Have a squiz at my response to Fearless Leader - hopefully this makes my position clearer.
    What? What do you mean have you done something to upset me?

    I'm just trying to find out what your point is. That's it.

    Doesn't take a genius to know that negligent parenting is detrimental to a child? It just infers that if you're not helicopter then you're negligent. Otherwise I just wasn't sure what the point of bringing up studies was? Or do you not believe there is an in between. It's all or nothing?

  6. #145
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    I'm a seriously anxious person - but I'm strangely laid back about my children. Perhaps because I worked with kids before having my own, I know what they're capable of and I know that accidents happen so (within reason) there's no point in hovering around while they explore. I think it's good that they experience things for themselves and figure it out on their own. Sailing headfirst down the slide and getting a mouthful of dirt is precisely how you you figure out that that might not be such a good idea next time. (Or the next three times before it really sinks in, you know?)

    Sure, sometimes I want to set up a huge safety net below those ridiculously high play structures but I don't want to pass on my anxiety to my boys. I have issues with heights, but they don't have to. I want them to be confident. And they certainly are! I'm constantly amazed by what DS1 can do, how he navigates the world and how he seems to know exactly what his limits are (most of the time).

    I'm (usually) always there and I watch 99.9% of the time, but I don't hover and I try not to interfere too much. Free range parenting all the way, dude!

  7. #146
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    The thing is... What you think is negligent for you or your children is not the same for others and their family.

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  9. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    The thing is... What you think is negligent for you or your children is not the same for others and their family.
    I think we all need to find another term. Negligence is by definition an objective question. What is negligence in one family isn't relevant to whether or not actions were negligent.

    It's always worked out objectively.

    As you were but this strain of the debate is driving me a little insane.

  10. #148
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    As soon as I read the OP I knew how this thread would play out. Pages of passive aggressive stabs at 'helicopter' parents (I really hate that term). That their kids will be fearful, lack resilience, that the parents have anxiety issues and no life. That they won't allow their kids to experience life. One poster has 'issues' bc she calls the DC. But one poster mentioned the word irresponsible once after repeatedly having her parenting questioned so all the PA stuff is deserved.

    Me - I consider myself half way. I do tend to hover at playgrounds with small children but I let out the apron strings more and more as they get older. Not surprisingly my kids are resilient, happy kids. Resilience is built from far more than reading a book at a park while your child plays. I could give 2 hoots what other parents do. Each to their own, you know your own child. And I know mine.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mambo View Post
    I'm inclined to agree the a lot of posters on this thread seem to be implying that those of us who choose to closely supervise our children on play equipment are somehow stunting our kids ability to develop a sense of ability, limitations, confidence etc which I think is hogwash. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but that seems to be the general theme.
    Nope you aren't reading too much into it. It's always a p*ssing contest on here as to who is the most 'free range'. Bc that makes you a better parent

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  12. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    As soon as I read the OP I knew how this thread would play out. Pages of passive aggressive stabs at 'helicopter' parents (I really hate that term). That their kids will be fearful, lack resilience, that the parents have anxiety issues and no life. That they won't allow their kids to experience life. One poster has 'issues' bc she calls the DC. But one poster mentioned the word irresponsible once after repeatedly having her parenting questioned so all the PA stuff is deserved.

    Me - I consider myself half way. I do tend to hover at playgrounds with small children but I let out the apron strings more and more as they get older. Not surprisingly my kids are resilient, happy kids. Resilience is built from far more than reading a book at a park while your child plays. I could give 2 hoots what other parents do. Each to their own, you know your own child. And I know mine.



    Nope you aren't reading too much into it. It's always a p*ssing contest on here as to who is the most 'free range'. Bc that makes you a better parent
    The OP was "having a stab" at people who don't hover IMO.

  13. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    As soon as I read the OP I knew how this thread would play out. Pages of passive aggressive stabs at 'helicopter' parents (I really hate that term). That their kids will be fearful, lack resilience, that the parents have anxiety issues and no life. That they won't allow their kids to experience life. One poster has 'issues' bc she calls the DC. But one poster mentioned the word irresponsible once after repeatedly having her parenting questioned so all the PA stuff is deserved.

    Me - I consider myself half way. I do tend to hover at playgrounds with small children but I let out the apron strings more and more as they get older. Not surprisingly my kids are resilient, happy kids. Resilience is built from far more than reading a book at a park while your child plays. I could give 2 hoots what other parents do. Each to their own, you know your own child. And I know mine.



    Nope you aren't reading too much into it. It's always a p*ssing contest on here as to who is the most 'free range'. Bc that makes you a better parent
    I agree re the p1ssing contest but there also seemed to be a bit of "How irresponsible!", "Who would do this?" and " I love my child too much to miss a minute!" (I'm clearly paraphrasing ) but I just don't think it's about being free range in terms of the "I'm a better parent award". There's all sorts of mumupmanship going on in this thread!

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