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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    I don't get why you are being so aggressive towards me.

    You said every parent. I disagreed.
    Btw my circle of family/friends in those years was was very diverse and more 100 families ( living 3 different towns including overseas.)

    I also said I did see it happen it just wasn't common.
    ??? I wasn't being aggressive at all? Surely it was clear that my 'every mother ever' comment was simply hyperbole. Sorry if my capitals sounded aggressive, it's hard to emphasize words on BH without the ability to italicise or bold.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    I was a mum 20 + years ago and not one of the parents I know would do this. Even 40 years ago my parents wouldn't have. Dh parents would have. Than again he was abandoned In a orphanage for 2 years when he was a young child. Mum went on to have more kids in the 2 years he and his siblings were there.


    So yes some would have and some still do but it certainly wasn't the majority 20 years ago.
    Also, you did say that some may do it, but the very clear insinuation here is that it would be the type of parents who would abandon their child in an orphanage who would do something like that- not one of your friends.
    So I'm not sure why you're getting all twisted up about me being allegedly aggressive, when you are comparing the sorts of people who let their kids roam the streets with parents who abandon them entirely.

  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Also, you did say that some may do it, but the very clear insinuation here is that it would be the type of parents who would abandon their child in an orphanage who would do something like that- not one of your friends.
    So I'm not sure why you're getting all twisted up about me being allegedly aggressive, when you are comparing the sorts of people who let their kids roam the streets with parents who abandon them entirely.
    Yes I did speak of my dh parents way of parenting it was horrific in my opinion. I will happily own that.

    Anyhow I would take note of it but not report it as such. I think that op on its own is not enough information.

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    A bit OT, but a comment from a PP brought up a huge red flag.... if you are a mandatory reporter, your boss/ superior is not allowed to tell you not to make a report. You can speak to your supervisor & they may tell you what they would do/ discuss it with you, but if you are a mandatory reporter & you are concerned, it is your decision whether or not to report.

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    Last Saturday I had my niece (9) for a sleepover, and arranged for DD (6) and her to go to the markets with $20, find the baker at the local farmers market, work out how many baguettes we would need for the number of people at our picnic and bring them home. They would need to cross the road, through (or around) a commercial building/civic centre and come straight home. They were so excited, and both being only-children don't get the opportunity that much to go out without an adult, and with that responsibility. Unfortunately, my sister (not Miss 9's mum) shadowed them the whole way so the whole learning experience was derailed. She ended up carrying the baguettes home for the kids (not letting the kids work out how to get them home past the ducks on their scooters). I was ****ed, I think that this is something that they should be experiencing at this age.

    But five hours unsupervised just so that the mum could get them out of the house? No way. Good on you for reporting, perhaps the mum needs some help to work out better strategies.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Well in my experience, it was the majority. My brothers and all of their friends roamed the streets from a young age, and I babysat loads and loads of kids and they were all allowed out on their own from around 8 or so. That was about 15 years ago. It was very common. Just because that wasn't your experience, doesn't mean it's not true. You are talking about YOUR family and YOUR friends. I am talking about at least 20 different families of all different backgrounds and parenting styles. It WAS common. Where I live it is still common. And if anyone had reported a child back then for being out alone, everyone would have been utterly flabbergasted about it. Clearly the OP's supervisor agrees it's not reportable as she was advised not to report it.
    You said every mother.

    And, actually, my superior HAS reported it. She said I didn't have to. She did. She named me too though as I am "involved".

    Quote Originally Posted by Maddmumma View Post
    Wow. When I was 10 me and my sisters younger them I played at the park across the road from our house.. My parents were strict. We were fine. We had a curfew.
    Across the road is different. At least 15 mins from the house in a new area, with no time to come home, noone checking on them, and several roads... Different.

    ETA: We have a 7 and 9 year old and they go to the park themselves near us. But they have clear guidelines, and we pop our heads around to check on them. Their mum also lets them go to the shop every now and then (across a big road but there are lights and the kids know the area, and she gives them her mobile to call the landline if needed). They have been taught what to do in an emergency. They know the area.
    It is so so different.
    Last edited by DT75; 08-09-2015 at 19:46.

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  9. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    You said every mother.

    And, actually, my superior HAS reported it. She said I didn't have to. She did. She named me too though as I am "involved".
    .
    Settle down, I said I was clearly exaggerating. Surely that's obvious?

    I'm not sure why you've posted, if your supervisor agreed with you and made a report, why do you need to ask BH about the legalities and for our opinion?

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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    A bit OT, but a comment from a PP brought up a huge red flag.... if you are a mandatory reporter, your boss/ superior is not allowed to tell you not to make a report. You can speak to your supervisor & they may tell you what they would do/ discuss it with you, but if you are a mandatory reporter & you are concerned, it is your decision whether or not to report.
    I only work there as a casual, so wasn't sure- I asked and she said I didn't have to but that she did have to.

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  12. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Settle down, I said I was clearly exaggerating. Surely that's obvious?

    I'm not sure why you've posted, if your supervisor agreed with you and made a report, why do you need to ask BH about the legalities and for our opinion?
    I'm not sure why you are telling me to settle down, I haven't been even slightly aggressive.

    Because I care about the law, and have kids the same age.

    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    What you describe here is exactly what every mother in the history of the world until about 15-20 years ago has done/said.
    And, no, this does not come across as obvious exaggeration. You used the word exactly. And did not say 'every mother ever'.

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    Thanks to those who were helpful.

    I am very surprised there aren't legal ages around this, even if they were only to be used as guidelines. Very strange.

    As stated, a report has been made, and my supervisor says the mother will receive a visit next week. That's as much as I know now.


 

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