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  1. #1
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    Default 6 weeks pregnant!

    Hello All,
    I am just over five weeks pregnant and so happy / nervous ect .
    This baby was certainly planned and both my husband and myself are over the moon but ever since I have found out I have been worrying about miscarrying – I think its stemming from not having many pregnancy symptom’s yet apart from tiredness and sore / huge boobs. I am a worrier in general so it’s not unusual for me to think glass half empty but it’s really getting to me. Did anyone else feel like this?

    While we are both very excited and can’t wait to share the news our very good friends are having considerable trouble conceiving and have been given bad news after bad news with the whole process and have been trying for at least 18 months (we conceived after 5 months). Does anyone on here have any advice on how we could tell them? We don’t want to treat them like they won’t care but we recognize that this will be fairly bittersweet for them and we really don’t want to make it worse than it is for them so any advice would be great.
    Thank you J

  2. #2
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    Wait until you are 12 weeks before telling them, and pick your timing. Make sure they are one of the first to know so they don't find out through someone else.
    I think it's entirely possible your friend might get upset but there isn't much you can do about it - just be sensitive, don't go into detail about how excited you are or how quickly it happened, just let them know gently and that you are aware they are trying and hope they are ok with the news. Showing them you are being respectful of their feelings is far better than 'guess what!! We're pregnant!!'.

    When I fell pregnant with DS I had 2 friends that had been trying for YEARS. I fell pregnant by accident. I chose to tell my close group of girlfriends all at once over dinner so as to not create an awkward situation. Not sure if this was the best thing to do but it did make it easier for me. I then spoke to them individually after to make sure they were ok.

  3. #3
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    I think it's totally normal to feel worried/nervous - but just remember, the chance of miscarrying is quite small to start with, and with each week that goes by, that chance gets smaller and smaller. Your baby is much more likely to be healthy than not

    In regards to telling your friend...I've been in your friend's position and it's so nice that you are thinking of her! For me, every time I heard a pregnancy announcement, I felt a bit like I'd been punched in the stomach/had the wind knocked out of me, even if it was kind of expected. I didn't always cry but every announcement made me feel really crappy for awhile. I think the best way to tell is via a text message or email - that way she can read the message, process it and pull herself together before replying. It's not that she won't be happy for you - but your news will likely make her very sad for herself and not being put on the spot for an enthusiastic response will be helpful.

    Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy

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  5. #4
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    Congrats on the pregnancy! I will be 5 weeks tomorrow and have same symptoms as u...just tired early and sore boobs. Wish there were more symptoms! I have also been in your friend's position and think either a text, phone call or one on one situation is best. I found it awkward in a group setting when people made announcements as i wondered if others were waiting to see how i would react as well. So i probably overdid the excited response and then dealt with it on my own later. It's a tricky time and even if things are awkward with your friend during pregnancy, i have found it gets easier once the baby is born. Just be understanding and sensitive to how she may be feeling. All the best!

  6. #5
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    I am 9 weeks and since I found out I've been a worrier..everyone says to stop worrying but it's easier said than done..I've had next to know MS which I'm know happy bout as I don't think I could handle it! TIRED..always tired!!! Boobs killing and always hungry.

    I don't know the answer and don't think I'll stop worrying the whole way through..but I think a long as we have plenty of rest, stay healthy and give our bodies what it wants things will be fine..once you see that heart fluttering away it puts your mind at rest a bit..so amazing!

  7. #6
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    Thanks Everyone - glad to know I'm not alone with the worrying! This time next week i will have had my dating scan so hopefully that reassures me a little bit.
    Thank you for the advice regarding how to tell our friends, obviously their feelings are our main concern xxx

  8. #7
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    It's normal to worry about miscarrying. Statistics show you probably won't and if you're not bleeding, I wouldn't worry (I'm six weeks pregnant and bleeding as we speak but as this is pregnancy #3 in a year I'm learning to crack on with it).

    I think it's so wonderful of you to care so much about your friend. I wish everyone was like you. A few things that I feel about pregnancy announcements right now:

    1. At a certain stage of your life, breeding seems to be all anyone is doing/ talking about. I actually went overseas for a month just to get away from all the announcements and to remind myself that there are other things in life than having a baby. Try to keep in mind that your announcement is likely to be one of many.

    2. Unless they are saints, they are going to feel jealous of you. This is not your problem, or your fault, it is just a fact. This is wonderful news and you deserve to celebrate. It's just an awful feeling when you hear a pregnancy announcement while going through this fertility hell. It's like jealousy mixed with panic that everyone is moving forward without you, mixed with self-loathing that you can't just feel happy for everyone else's good fortune.

    For me, the best way to tell me would be when we were alone, and with a lot of understanding. I'd let them know that you understand this may be hard for them and if they need to keep their distance, you understand that. Then try not to talk about the pregnancy too much with them while it's going on. Talk about it sometimes, of course, but pregnant women can get into the habit of talking about nothing else. Strangely enough, I found that this type of understanding made it easier for me to get past my feelings and feel more comfortable around my pregnant friends.

    This probably sounds selfish and harsh, and personally, I don't want to be this way. I'm seeing a mental health worker weekly to deal with my issues, and I hope every day that my friends have patience with me.

  9. #8
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    Congrats on your pregnancy! It's normal to feel a little anxious and also normal to not experience many symptoms in the first few weeks for some. With regards to telling your friends. Don't wait. I found it much easier to process news of my friends pregnancies when I was having difficulties before they made the big announcements. Knowing how they feel I am always gentle when announcing to friends who are struggling to conceive or hurting from loss. They'll appreciate your consideration even though it will hurt like hell. Good luck for a successful pregnancy 🙌🏻

  10. #9
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    Hello Everyone, thank you so much for your well wishes and advice Good news though - while we were contemplaiting how to deliver the news, they had some news themselves! turns out we are due within a month of each other so its really lovely x

  11. #10
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    I found this link on the daily odds of misscarriage comforting
    http://spacefem.com/pregnant/mc.php?m=08&d=10&y=12


 

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