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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    To be fair though I would invite people to a wedding but not a birthday party. And just because I did invite someone to my wedding I wouldn't assume I would be invited to every other event they were holding no matter how significant.

    Just a question. Would you have been upset if they hadn't included your parents in their weddings?
    Yes I would have. We really are like one big family (my DHs family and mine). Maybe it's a European thing!?

  2. #12
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    Default Wdyt

    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Yes I would have. We really are like one big family (my DHs family and mine). Maybe it's a European thing!?
    Could they have invited them because they knew you'd be upset?

    I really would try and stress about it and just accept everyone has different views on this.

    I used to feel upset that DH's family never included my parents in things when they always did and I asked them why. They just said they liked to keep celebrations (other than life changing events like weddings) to their immediate family and friends. And I also suspect they don't really enjoy my parents company (if I'm being really honest now). It's contradictory and hard but that's how some families operate. I just gave up a long time trying to figure it all out.

  3. #13
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    I think you need to let it go. They aren't related, maybe they find it odd they were even invited.
    Don't worry about them, have a good night and have fun!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Could they have invited them because they knew you'd be upset?

    I really would try and stress about it and just accept everyone has different views on this.

    I used to feel upset that DH's family never included my parents in things when they always did and I asked them why. They just said they liked to keep celebrations (other than life changing events like weddings) to their immediate family and friends. And I also suspect they don't really enjoy my parents company (if I'm being really honest now). It's contradictory and hard but that's how some families operate. I just gave up a long time trying to figure it all out.
    He's too selfish to think like that. He would have done it as he would have wanted the money. Sad but true!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    I think you need to let it go. They aren't related, maybe they find it odd they were even invited.
    Don't worry about them, have a good night and have fun!
    In most scenarios I'd agree, it's just the history of it all which annoys me.

    So what if he invites my parents to his 40th in a few months? I'd be telling my parents not to go. But they would still go and buy him a pretty good present. That would peeve me off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    In most scenarios I'd agree, it's just the history of it all which annoys me.

    So what if he invites my parents to his 40th in a few months? I'd be telling my parents not to go. But they would still go and buy him a pretty good present. That would peeve me off.
    Maybe it's just because the party is tonight and they don't want to go on a Sunday night, plus it's Father's Day.
    I would be annoyed about the lying but I would let it go.

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  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    So what if he invites my parents to his 40th in a few months? I'd be telling my parents not to go. But they would still go and buy him a pretty good present. That would peeve me off.
    So what? They're your parents and I'm sure they are old enough to make their own decisions.

    If there is a long history here maybe none of us can really comment but based on what you've written it sounds to me like you are far more invested than they are.

    Are you close enough to them to ask them (once your mother's birthday is behind you) if there were other reasons why they didn't attend. If you are as close as you say you are I would strongly suggest you do that.

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    Sorry I reread my post and I hope I don't sound harsh. Your OP just reminded me so much of the angst and heartache my DH's family used to put me through, and I used to second guess everything all the time.

    Hugs it is hard when you hold family events very highly and other don't feel the same.

    We have lived away from our families for close to 15 years now and I hope to create that sense of family in my own family as they get older.

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  11. #19
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    Yes, I would be annoyed, a similar think happened with my ILs and my mums 60th.

    What made ours worse is that we paid a deposit for a full table and then they changed their mind. We also did everything together.

    This was a few years ago now, and we just don't bother with them now. They pick and choose what's convenient for them. We can't force them to come.

    My advice is just to let it slide and don't expect anything from them in the future, just don't take it to heart. Enjoy time with your mum and leave it at that. It's their loss.

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  13. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Yes I would have. We really are like one big family (my DHs family and mine). Maybe it's a European thing!?
    Definitely a European thing I think OP!

    Same story here too and it sucked. Totally get where ur coming from x

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