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  1. #61
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    Agreed. the email wasn't too bad but the update on the situation is horrible.

    I wouldn't be able to just let that go.
    I'd make my own Christmas plans and stick to them but I would certainly tell them how this has affected your DH and the family.
    It's worth saying.
    Maybe by next yr it can be all sorted and forgotten then?

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (11-09-2015)

  3. #62
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    for me, Christmas is family, it is so sad when other things, other opinions, can be considered more important, and the result is the 'end' of the family. hugs, littlemisssunshine. marie.

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  5. #63
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    As you said, you don't know if these plans were made before or after the email was sent. Its possible your SIL emailed them asap and asked/demanded they go to hers.

    Your SIL is horrid. Now inviting her brother and his family?? RUDE!
    I would be telling her to stuff it, rather than your in-laws.

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (11-09-2015)

  7. #64
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    Default WDYT? Inlaws cancelling Christmas :(

    I don't think they are truly intending to be horrible or rude, but we have been hurt. Both MIL and SIL suffer badly from anxiety.

    It's just upsetting that we have lost our Christmas Eve that we enjoyed so much (SIL was finding it a bit more difficult to leave her house for anything since having a kid a couple of years ago) and that we are being cut off completely over Christmas in the process. DH and dd often get forgotten about because his sister needs a bit of extra support sometimes. He feels she has stolen Xmas away from him (and us) to better meet her needs.

    Thank you for all your lovely hugs
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 11-09-2015 at 13:57.

  8. #65
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    Default WDYT? Inlaws cancelling Christmas :(

    While I do get you're upset I really would try and not see it as they are stealing Christmas from you. Since we moved away from all of our families it has forced DH and i to create our own traditions and Christmas magic for our kids. We now spend Christmas morning opening presents and then we meet friends who also live away from family for a big morning at the beach. We all pack special food and tents and champagne and just stay at the beach for hours. The kids love it now and never feel they are missing out.

    The first year we spent Christmas without family (any family) was hard don't get me wrong, but there is still so much joy to be had.

    I have brothers who suck my family dry in terms of emotional support over the years, and the resentment is brutal about it. I really get how your DH must feel right now but unless you can change their minds maybe it's an opportunity to start your own traditions as a family?

    I'm not in any way minimising your family's feelings. Just trying to turn lemons into lemonade.
    Last edited by Sonja; 11-09-2015 at 14:35.

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  10. #66
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    Could you not suggest that you still have your family Christmas but at SILs house? I know it might seem a bit forward, but if you're upset about I would definitely say something!

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    That's crud OP. I would feel so excluded.

    Focus on making your own happy, drama-free Christmas day plans. I'm sure you'll all enjoy spending some quality time with your parents

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    Hearing the full story I would be quite upset. Why can't SIL have you guys for Xmas too?

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  15. #69
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    Ouch @LittleMissSunshine your poor dh!

    Create your own family traditions, we give ds a Christmas Eve box and it has tickets for things to do in it he loves it.

    Hugs

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    I couldn't dart around the truth. I would call the inlaws bluff - tell them you will miss Christmas with them and ask if they will still have at least Christmas Eve with you. They either come to the party, or they admit they are giving preference to your DH's sister.

    If they don't come to the party - tell 'em to go get stuffed then go have Champers on the beach on Christmas Day like Sonya.

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