As far as letting go of the control; he's a very unmotivated person, if I didn't prompt him to do homework, brush his teeth etc, he would not do it. Ever.
And the suggestion of being involved in something he loves... that's really hard too. I have tried in the past but due to the obsessive nature of Aspie kids, it's just not enjoyable. I can't be bothered explaining it in detail... more like I don't want to explain it- because it makes me sound like a terribly uncaring parent and I really hate saying that kind of stuff out aloud, but anyone who deals with these obsessive spiels on a daily basis will know what I mean.
Thanks though for the suggestions!