Your point your friend made about how at least he has a job and doesn't hit you really got me. That's an absolutely horrible way to look at your situation.
Women should never be made to think we should have such low standards for what we expect in a man.
Your husband doesn't respect you, he clearly doesn't love you. These are two of the most important things to expect from a marriage. He may not be beating you but he is still abusing you by controlling your money and what you do with it, by controlling what you do with your time, he is emotionally abusive when he throws a tanty because you want to do something for yourself outside of working 2 jobs and looking after the house and kids while he just has 1 job???
So no you aren't being unreasonable to expect more - you deserve more as do your kids. Please, please, please contact centrelink and find out what you're entitled to and work out some numbers around what you need to live off etc and make a financial plan to leave. You're clearly not happy, you shouldn't be married to someone you hate either.
I wish you all the best and I hope you can leave sooner rather than later, you are in a domestic violence relationship.