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  1. #1
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    Default 3 year old & troubling behaviours

    Been dwelling on this a while and wondering whether to post and what to say..but it looks like we are going down the road of assessment so figured I could use all the support and advice I can find.

    DS1 is having trouble at daycare and his educators are now wanting us on the path of having him assessed by a paed. They have also gotten inclusive services involved to do an assessment to see if there is funding available to support him in the learning environment (as he's needing a lot of 1 on 1 support which of course isn't easy given their child to teacher ratios etc).

    I know it's better to get to these things early but part of me wonders if we just aren't giving him enough time to settle. His whole world has changed. We've gone from me being home full time, hubby working FIFO to hubby home starting a business, me going back to work full time and our 2 boys starting full time care. A lot for a little one to adjust to.

    His educators feel he is developmentally behind his peers, and has problems with social skills. He also seems to get very overwhelmed in the large environment and seems to regress in his behaviours.

    Not really sure what I'm asking in terms of this post. Maybe just to hear from others who have gone down this track at a similar age? What was the process? What was the outcome? Tips? Advice? Anything really...feeling a bit alone.

  2. #2
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    Default 3 year old & troubling behaviours

    Honestly, you know your son best.

    My experience with my oldest ds was that he started preschool at 3. We spoke a language other than English to him at home (he is bilingual) and by the time he turned 3.5 the preschool told he that he wasn't speaking enough, he lacked concentration and needed to be assessed.

    So I went along with it.

    But there were other factors involved too.. DH had moved to a different state for work, we were moving in with mum (so that we could follow DH in a few months time), I was pregnant and super tired, so everything he knew was changing.

    I got roped into speech pathology for him, which was ok, I can't say he didn't benefit. But in hindsight, I think he was totally age appropriate. The speech pathologist just kept going on about how much he's struggle at school if we didn't do it.

    Now, 2 years later in kindy/pre primary, I'd say he's one of the better speakers in his class, knows all his sounds and so forth.

    I wish I had never done the speech pathology. If anything, OT would have been much better in that his fine motor skills would have benefited.

    There's no harm in getting him assessed, but just be mindful of where YOU think he is.

    Good luck 😀

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    summastarlet  (30-08-2015)

  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by misho View Post
    Honestly, you know your son best.

    My experience with my oldest ds was that he started preschool at 3. We spoke a language other than English to him at home (he is bilingual) and by the time he turned 3.5 the preschool told he that he wasn't speaking enough, he lacked concentration and needed to be assessed.

    So I went along with it.

    But there were other factors involved too.. DH had moved to a different state for work, we were moving in with mum (so that we could follow DH in a few months time), I was pregnant and super tired, so everything he knew was changing.

    I got roped into speech pathology for him, which was ok, I can't say he didn't benefit. But in hindsight, I think he was totally age appropriate. The speech pathologist just kept going on about how much he's struggle at school if we didn't do it.

    Now, 2 years later in kindy/pre primary, I'd say he's one of the better speakers in his class, knows all his sounds and so forth.

    I wish I had never done the speech pathology. If anything, OT would have been much better in that his fine motor skills would have benefited.

    There's no harm in getting him assessed, but just be mindful of where YOU think he is.

    Good luck 😀
    Thank you for your perspective. In some ways I think he's perfectly fine for his age, but there are a few little things that make me wonder. And his behaviour at daycare is beginning to concern me. So hard to know what to do. Will go along with the assessments and then see where we stand.

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    We are going through something similar but for our 13mo DS, so a fair bit younger. He has a couple of red flags - language delay (no speech sounds besides ba and ma, we're not sure he understands much either) and he doesn't point, clap, or wave. Our first step is a hearing test but we have also discussed the possibility of other factors - whether that just be a simple language delay that requires some therapy or something a bit more serious like autism.

    I am of the opinion that I'd rather over-react than under-react so I'm going to get whatever assessments or assistance that we think would provide some benefit, in consultation with our paediatrician.

    As a PP said, you know your son best. If you're worried, then perhaps there are things that have been on your mind for a while now regardless of what daycare have said?

    Kids are all so different, there's such a huge spectrum of normal, and some are more sensitive than others and express it in such a variety of ways. It sound like there's been a lot of change for him so it may well be that.

    I wish I had some words of wisdom or useful information for you! I understand how you're feeling, it's not nice to think your child may have some challenges in life, I worry about it constantly with DS at the moment.

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    summastarlet  (31-08-2015)

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    Default 3 year old & troubling behaviours

    As a pre school teacher, it's much easier to help a child when the parents are on board. I'd say get him assessed through the day care he won't notice and it won't hurt having some extra help, funding or strategies in place for the teachers. Sometimes there is something going on whether that be from learnt behaviour, environmental or something more concerning. The more help and support any child had the more it will blossom and grow.

  9. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Reneeharry For This Useful Post:

    Mod-Degrassi  (02-09-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (31-08-2015),summastarlet  (31-08-2015)

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    Thanks @Cue. Sorry to hear you are having your own troubles. These kids definitely keep us on our toes. I hope you get to the bottom of it.

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    Cue  (31-08-2015)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reneeharry View Post
    As a pre school teacher, it's much easier to help a child when the parents are on board. I'd say get him assessed through the day care he won't notice and it won't hurt having some extra help, funding or strategies in place for the teachers. Sometimes there is something going on whether that be from learnt behaviour, environmental or something more concerning. The more help and support any child had the more it will blossom and grow.
    Thanks Renee. We are definitely on board. I just want what's best for him and want him to be able to learn and grow and blossom. Hopefully with the extra support we can find out what's happening for him and why he's acting out and get some new strategies to best support him

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    We had a similar recommendation for DSS when he was at pre-school (age 4 I think). His mum refused to assess him and we just did what we could.

    6 months ago his primary school did a class assessment thing (there were a few kids that they wanted assessed but parents weren't convinced, so they did a basic assessment of everyone). DSS, nearly 8 now, is finally getting the help he has needed since age 4.

    His mum refused to acknowledge his problems (even though she whined about him all the time) and it means he is behind his peers.

    While I would agree that you probably do know your child best, sometimes others see what we can't, or won't. An assessment won't harm him, and I wish we had pushed harder for one for DSS.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    We had a similar recommendation for DSS when he was at pre-school (age 4 I think). His mum refused to assess him and we just did what we could.

    6 months ago his primary school did a class assessment thing (there were a few kids that they wanted assessed but parents weren't convinced, so they did a basic assessment of everyone). DSS, nearly 8 now, is finally getting the help he has needed since age 4.

    His mum refused to acknowledge his problems (even though she whined about him all the time) and it means he is behind his peers.

    While I would agree that you probably do know your child best, sometimes others see what we can't, or won't. An assessment won't harm him, and I wish we had pushed harder for one for DSS.
    Thank you for sharing. I'm all for him getting the help he may need. I would rather supports be in place now and he can thrive once he gets to school rather than struggle

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