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  1. #231
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    Some of you need to ask yourselves if someone you loved had their details leaked online through AM...someone who you were close with and believed had good in them...if you would still have the attitude of "can't handle it, don't cheat" if they killed themselves.

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  3. #232
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    I did say I hadn't read the entire thread.

    Anyway I won't even try and reply to the rest.
    That's fine.

  4. #233
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    Wait a minute... Where did I say anyone *deserved* suicide? Don't twist my words.

    I said if they couldn't handle being exposed, they shouldn't have cheated.

    I know all about suicide and feeling suicidal. It's an awful place to be, but you cannot force someone to commit suicide, other factors would have had to be in play with this whole thing, not just a cheating leak.
    Yep, and that's another reason why the hackers never should have played with fire; the fact that there are people out there who may have already been teetering on the verge of suicide. I mean, it's like saying, if someone was bullied to death, that the victim would have been depressed anyway so it's not entirely the bully's fault. And that is just an example, I'm not saying the people here are the same as victims of bullying.
    People are dead because of this. Yes, they had done the wrong thing, I have yet to see anyone here condoning cheating, but far out, they have paid the ultimate price, their lives.

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  6. #234
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopeful1986 View Post
    Some of you need to ask yourselves if someone you loved had their details leaked online through AM...someone who you were close with and believed had good in them...if you would still have the attitude of "can't handle it, don't cheat" if they killed themselves.
    Now that I've read this comment as well, I just can't help myself, so here goes.

    I don't think anyone here is implying they deserved suicide!

    As if anyone is 'blasé' about suicide!

    For a lot of people, the thought of someone commuting suicide because details of their infidelities were leaked just doesn't make sense. There would have to be many other factors that contributed to their suicide, not just the AM leak.

    In fact, when it was leaked, although I admit I didn't read much about it at all, suicide didn't even cross my mind...

    The only thing I think when I think of a cheating spouse (and yes I have first hand experience) is how much hurt they have caused to their partner and/family. How they cannot possibly 'Love' their spouse if they are actively seeking affairs with other people, probably on a regular basis. I don't for one minute feel that they deserve suicide though. For me, the two wouldn't even be related in my head.

    That's exactly where my original comment came from, I just stated that I can't understand how the leak itself could have caused them to commit suicide and there would have to have been other factors. I just don't feel you can blame a suicide purely on this leak.

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  8. #235
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Marigold~ View Post
    Yep, and that's another reason why the hackers never should have played with fire; the fact that there are people out there who may have already been teetering on the verge of suicide. I mean, it's like saying, if someone was bullied to death, that the victim would have been depressed anyway so it's not entirely the bully's fault. And that is just an example, I'm not saying the people here are the same as victims of bullying.
    People are dead because of this. Yes, they had done the wrong thing, I have yet to see anyone here condoning cheating, but far out, they have paid the ultimate price, their lives.
    Yeah I see what you're saying. I agree.

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  10. #236
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    Okay, I didn't actually use the word "deserve" in that post you quoted...I knew where I went wrong and I avoided that.

    I'm not saying people are being blase about suicide in general. I'm saying that in this thread there has been a discussion about suicide (which IMO was the straw that broke the camels back) with these people who had AM account information leaked and the people who are actually saying "can't handle it don't cheat" are making out like suicide is a consequence of cheating. It should never be a consequence for anything, IMO.

    Like you, I've felt suicidal before, too. And I can't fathom how casually people have treated it in this thread just because people have cheated. Cheating is a gross act, we can all agree on that...

    Anyway, there are far more problems these leaks would have caused other than people being exposed to/by their partners. Threats, scams, credit card fraud, identity theft, etc. Things that can drive a person to suicide (again, not the cause, but a big contributing factor.)

    Also, if I came across aggressive, I apologise.

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  12. #237
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    I do have to say that I think that if people have committed suicide because of this that it is also entirely possible that something else would've eventually tipped them over the edge, this just happened to be the thing that did it. I'm not being blasé about it, I'm not saying that they deserve it just that people don't usually up and commit suicide on a whim. It's terrible that this is the thing that caused it but there would've been a lot of other things that contributed to it long before this happened.

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  14. #238
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopeful1986 View Post
    Okay, I didn't actually use the word "deserve" in that post you quoted...I knew where I went wrong and I avoided that.

    I'm not saying people are being blase about suicide in general. I'm saying that in this thread there has been a discussion about suicide (which IMO was the straw that broke the camels back) with these people who had AM account information leaked and the people who are actually saying "can't handle it don't cheat" are making out like suicide is a consequence of cheating. It should never be a consequence for anything, IMO.

    Like you, I've felt suicidal before, too. And I can't fathom how casually people have treated it in this thread just because people have cheated. Cheating is a gross act, we can all agree on that...

    Anyway, there are far more problems these leaks would have caused other than people being exposed to/by their partners. Threats, scams, credit card fraud, identity theft, etc. Things that can drive a person to suicide (again, not the cause, but a big contributing factor.)

    Also, if I came across aggressive, I apologise.
    No stress, I see now where you're coming from, I agree. I think we just misunderstood each other in the first few posts. Sorry if I came across defensive / aggressive.

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  16. #239
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    @Apple iPhart6 I know what your DH is saying but i really dislike this argument or position that men watch p.orn like it's the most natural thing in the world. P.orn is not something men have to watch. My DH has no interest or time to look at naked women when he's at work, and I can assure you if they had staff doing it they'd be dismissed.

    Looking at p.orn is not "just" looking at naked women. Sorry I find this minimising p.orn I see time and time again on here just weird. Yes it's not illegal (in the main) and I don't care what people do in the privacy of their homes. I'm not a wowser either. I just don't see it as a necessary part of anyone's working life.
    Sorry, I do feel like I'm derailing the thread here. That was pretty much how our discussion went because I was like "1.5 hours is a long time to look at p.orn, I mean surely he'd be done in 15 minutes, tops!". I'm not trying intentionally to minimise it but I'm just saying that I know of men who look at it for hours just for the sake of looking at it. Then again, I don't have an issue with p.orn and look at it myself so I can't really judge, even though I can't fathom why you'd just want to browse nudie pics for hours on end since I only look at it with an end goal in mind.

    The men in question are good workers and get their jobs done so he's not about to fire them for it. On top of that, they don't have an official IT policy in place (not even sure they have a Code of Conduct) so he'd have to tread very carefully if he did.

    In a big corporation with an official IT policy then you would be super foolish to look at p.orn or sites like Ashley Madison.

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    I haven't had time to read the latest posts, however I will be honest and say I'm disillusioned at some of what I have been reading. When I posed the questions, I guess I was naive in thinking that *majority* would say that whilst they don't condone adultery and those types of websites which promote it, it's not illegal and that the hackers have done the most vile thing in releasing the info that they did. When it first came to light and I heard about the large number of people in Saudi Arabia whom were members of the site, I literally got goose bumps.

    The ramifications of adulterous affairs are *normally* never, ever positive, so to have millions of people 'outed' as it were and all their personal details, to my way of thinking affects more than just the person who's details have been released.

    I am absolutely sure NOT ONE of those people would have ever consented to their details being released and those hackers are vile in making themselves the Moral Police. Since the start of the thread, it has been reported that suicides have taken place which can be attributed to this whole thing and again, I am shocked at some of the responses and my faith in humanity. It may sound OTT, but suicide is the ultimate point of no return and to get to that psychological point in the first place is absolutely devastating.

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