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  1. #151
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    Default Should Ashley Madison Cheaters be exposed?

    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    Sorry I deleted my post because I was worried people would take it wrong or like I was condoning him.

    For those that missed it for context to MB's post, I was asking if anyone thinks the way Josh was brought up has anything to do with him molesting his sisters rather than it being just simply that he's a paedophile. Ie, an incredibly sheltered pubescent boy told that any type of exploring is wrong (watching prn, matrbtion, kissing girls in school, etc).
    I thought this too when the molestation story broke. not excusing what he did at all, but he grew up being told and probably believing lustful feelings were wrong, any kind of sexual contact is the work of the devil etc etc. so when he hit puberty and all these normal feelings and thoughts started coming up, he had no healthy outlet to explore them in. he wasn't allowed to have a gf probably, wasn't allowed to kiss and explore his sexual feelings with a peer of his own age. so he started expressing it in unhealthy and antisocial (not to mention illegal) ways.

    had he been brought up in a "normal" house with "normal" values and been allowed to be a normal boy of his age, would he have molested? we will never know for sure. but I believe his upbringing plays a large part in what he did.

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  3. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I'm not actually sure you'd classify him as a pedophile. I'm no authority on what constitutes a pedophile but his behaviour definitely seems to stem from his severe upbringing rather than classic pedophilia.

    He's sick. But not sure what with.
    I have been thinking the same thing. The sexual and emotional repression in that house was nuts. I remember looking at their site a good 5 years ago. Now it's gone all 'buy our books' but back then it was a much deeper look into their daily lives, how the house ran, their beliefs. I cringed the whole time reading it bc it was so anti feminist and anti self autonomy. S*x is treated as something for procreation, beyond that it is treated as dirty and evil, especially outside of marriage. I remember pointing that out in several threads on here when the Duggars were 'cool' and got the stick lol

    I argue Quiverfull, which is more a way to live that a religion as such is quite cult like.

  4. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I have been thinking the same thing. The sexual and emotional repression in that house was nuts. I remember looking at their site a good 5 years ago. Now it's gone all 'buy our books' but back then it was a much deeper look into their daily lives, how the house ran, their beliefs. I cringed the whole time reading it bc it was so anti feminist and anti self autonomy. S*x is treated as something for procreation, beyond that it is treated as dirty and evil, especially outside of marriage. I remember pointing that out in several threads on here when the Duggars were 'cool' and got the stick lol

    I argue Quiverfull, which is more a way to live that a religion as such is quite cult like.
    I said something similar on here when the molestation story broke and from memory was flamed for 'excusing' him. Our childhood has a lot to do with forming us as teens and adults, I don't see how he would be any different.

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  6. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    I said something similar on here when the molestation story broke and from memory was flamed for 'excusing' him. Our childhood has a lot to do with forming us as teens and adults, I don't see how he would be any different.
    Agreed but how far do we take that? Genuine question and no snark. If I go back to the catholic priest thing - some had terrible childhoods, were abused themselves and then went on to abuse. I don;t ever think there's an excuse but perhaps there is a deeper reason. But when I think of my children being abused and broken - it makes me feel so ragey that I just don't care about the why.

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    I don't think you, or I or anyone is excusing him. I get that yucky feeling when I read stories about him and I feel so sad for his victims. But there is a difference between excusing and explaining it, I'm trying to do the latter. I wasn't going to link this as I didn't want to take the thread too off course but for those interested in the Quiverfull movement:

    http://gawker.com/quiverfull-of-****...and-1706557073

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  9. #156
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    I think it's one of those examples my mother would say "that's not an excuse that's an explanation". Never understood what she meant until I grew up.

    I think we always need to try and understand why people act the way they do when crimes are committed to try and make sure others don't do the same. Not everyone who has a sh----y upbringing will grow up to molest or abuse other people but if we watch those who are potentially more vulnerable maybe we can help prevent it in the future?

    I don't know. Maybe it's impossible.

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    Default Should Ashley Madison Cheaters be exposed?

    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    Agreed but how far do we take that? Genuine question and no snark. If I go back to the catholic priest thing - some had terrible childhoods, were abused themselves and then went on to abuse. I don;t ever think there's an excuse but perhaps there is a deeper reason. But when I think of my children being abused and broken - it makes me feel so ragey that I just don't care about the why.
    For me it's not necessarily about how far to take it once people have reached adulthood and their brains have developed, because I'll be the first to say that people need to own their choices, but rather how to learn from it and try and foster positive change for future generations. Which sounds rather lofty and is probably largely unachievable, but on a micro level, thinking about this sort of thing has certainly impacted how I am going to try to parent/counsel DS as he navigates puberty.

    But yes, I think none of us would be immune to the mumma bear rage and in those moments nothing else would matter.

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    Default Should Ashley Madison Cheaters be exposed?

    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    Sorry I deleted my post because I was worried people would take it wrong or like I was condoning him.

    For those that missed it for context to MB's post, I was asking if anyone thinks the way Josh was brought up has anything to do with him molesting his sisters rather than it being just simply that he's a paedophile. Ie, an incredibly sheltered pubescent boy told that any type of exploring is wrong (watching prn, matrbtion, kissing girls in school, etc).
    I've actually said this several times. I blame his parents more than him for his actions. You have a fifteen year old boy who's curious about the female body and having normal sexual urges. Meanwhile he's told everything from mast.urbation onwards is a sin outside of marriage and he should never do it.

    His parents stop parenting the older kids because they don't have time. They sure as heck don't give them the s.ex talk except for "don't do it till you're married". If they had a reasonable amount of children and time to actually parent them, things could've been a lot, lot different.

    I don't think he's necessarily a paedophile but more that those were the girls he had access to where a normal boy would get a girlfriend his own age at school and experiment consensually with her.

    I'm not saying it's right or excusing him but I think there is something of an explanation in the way he was raised and as I said, I fully blame his parents more than him because they don't effing parent their older children.
    Last edited by Apple iPhart6; 23-08-2015 at 05:57.

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    Default Should Ashley Madison Cheaters be exposed?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I'm not actually sure you'd classify him as a pedophile. I'm no authority on what constitutes a pedophile but his behaviour definitely seems to stem from his severe upbringing rather than classic pedophilia.

    He's sick. But not sure what with.
    Hardcore Christianity.
    Last edited by Apple iPhart6; 23-08-2015 at 05:58.

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I don't think you, or I or anyone is excusing him. I get that yucky feeling when I read stories about him and I feel so sad for his victims. But there is a difference between excusing and explaining it, I'm trying to do the latter. I wasn't going to link this as I didn't want to take the thread too off course but for those interested in the Quiverfull movement:

    http://gawker.com/quiverfull-of-****...and-1706557073
    From there, I went on to read this which is a horrific further insight into how girls can be used and abused by men in this religion: http://mobile.wnd.com/2014/04/pastor...-sex-object-2/


 

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