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  1. #1
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    Default becoming a teenager

    I worry so much about my DD and what she will be like as a teenager ... she is so strong willed

    the anxiety in me is enormous (and I am not generally an anxious person so I feel so much sympathy for those who have anxiety issues dealing with this).


    I have to say though - she does calisthenics, and they had a concert over the weekend which I was pretty involved in.

    Watching all those girls and getting to know them, it settles me a lot to know that even with all the horror stories of teenagers getting into all kinds of mischief ... that there are LOTS of kids who just do normal kid stuff. Who are beautiful, kind, generous and lovely - it goes a little way to easing my worry

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    I think people underestimate teens and they cop more flack than they deserve. Obviously there will be trouble makers, but that's in every age group. People always worry about the next generation, but I do find myself having a lot of faith in today's kids. It's the adults that try to take advantage of them that I worry about.

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    My DD has just turned 12, and is well on her way towards the teenage years...we have had a relatively easy time of puberty..she has really taken it in her stride.
    I really think communication is the key to "surviving" the teenage years. We have always been incredibly open about everything, answered her questions with honesty, and encouraged her to talk about her day, her life and how she is feeling on a very regular basis, and hopefully this will continue into the years ahead.

    We also strongly encourage participation in team sports and activities, as i believe being involved in things will, in later years, "keep them off the streets" (as my Pop used to say). If they are occupied, and have something to focus on, and not just "hanging out", bored all the time, there is less chance of getting up to mischief

    My DD also does Cali (crazy sport that it is haha) and has had all the comps lately, with lots of training, as well as being involved in Film School. It keeps her busy (keeps me flipping busy too!) and she has a lovely group of supportive girls and mums around her...it all has to help!

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    I don't know if this of any help. I have had 3 fantastic teenagers so far and dd3 is a teen in a few months so that will make 4.
    So far we have had no nightmare scenarios. Amongst their friends only a handful have had any. One 2 have gone down a bad path. And that wasn't til middle 'teens'.

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    @HappyBovine, I would agree with you that grade 9 is the ratbag year! We are in the midst of it right now with SS. This is the first year that he's really tried to deliberately get out of doing the things he should be doing, i.e. homework, enough study, sports, etc, by lying to us about how much schoolwork he actually has to do. And it is totally related to his mates - all they want to do is play computer games. They text one another to see who's available to log on and play, and they would play all day if they were allowed (we have technology time limits for games, TV, etc). It's honestly like an addiction. This has been a massive distraction for SS and, unfortunately for him, his grades came down so much last semester from where they were at the end of grade 8, that computer games have been banned indefinitely. We've said we'll revisit the issue when we see how much improvement he's made in his schoolwork.
    @BH-KatiesMum, SS is also incredibly strong willed. He has only become more so as he's gotten older. But I am also incredibly strong-willed and stubborn as a mule when it comes to things related to my personal values, so it is often quite literally the battle of the wills in this house. They say strong-willed people end up being future leaders, depending on how that exercise of will is channeled. We try to explain our reasoning for the decisions we make that he's not happy about so that he can understand where we're coming from, and he usually "gets it" once we've gone through the actions and consequences of it.


 

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