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  1. #131
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    So i was wondering at what age did mummies teach their bubs to self settle? And what technique did you use?

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    With my toddler I didn't really have a clue about sleep training, self settling etc so I didn't do anything until about 5 months and then we did it intensively with cc and it sorted problem out within few days. With my new baby I wasn't planning to do anything but I've started to realise that it would make my life so much easier if I could get him to self settle and sleep in his cot for naps.
    So he's 10 weeks now and for last couple days at night I feed him in a dark room with a white noise in background and when I burp him he's then awake. I'm then putting him in his cot awake and just staying on the bed until he falls asleep, putting dummy back in as needed. I'm trying not to pat or put my hands on him and he seems to be ok with me just being present. I'm planning to carry on doing this for evening sleep and if I get the chance during the day when my toddler doesn't need my attention I'll try the same for day sleeps.

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  4. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by nh2489 View Post
    With my toddler I didn't really have a clue about sleep training, self settling etc so I didn't do anything until about 5 months and then we did it intensively with cc and it sorted problem out within few days. With my new baby I wasn't planning to do anything but I've started to realise that it would make my life so much easier if I could get him to self settle and sleep in his cot for naps.
    So he's 10 weeks now and for last couple days at night I feed him in a dark room with a white noise in background and when I burp him he's then awake. I'm then putting him in his cot awake and just staying on the bed until he falls asleep, putting dummy back in as needed. I'm trying not to pat or put my hands on him and he seems to be ok with me just being present. I'm planning to carry on doing this for evening sleep and if I get the chance during the day when my toddler doesn't need my attention I'll try the same for day sleeps.
    What a great idea and it's awesome that that is working!

    With my DD who is now 3.5 we did pat shush for months. It wasn't until I started offering a top up feed that she started self settling.

    DS just started self settling on his own. I always fed to sleep but then I went back to work and my parents started putting him down on his tummy (he was 10 months old and able to roll from front to back and was no longer swaddled) and they just rubbed his back until he fell asleep. Then I continued to do the same and one day I decided not to rub his back, I just left the room. He didn't cry and just put himself to sleep!

    Now 9 times out of 10 he self settles. The only times he doesn't is when I a. Can't get a burp out of him b. He's under or over tired or c. He's still hungry.

    Self settling is great don't get me wrong but I'm still waking up to him between 2 and 5 times a night. Just because they self settle doesn't mean they won't wake in the night. I'm still trying to figure out why he's waking so often, I'm none the wiser though.

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  6. #134
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    Hi Ladies, I need some help. My 22 month old is often waking every 2 hrs through the night (sometimes more!), and there hasn't been a night when he hasn't woken at least 2-3 times in the last 5 months. He magically slept consistently though the night from about 14-17months and it was AMAZING. I want that again... Or at least closer to it! At 17 months we had a real spate of sickness and self settling went out the window. He has been in a big bed for a couple of months and it hasn't really made any difference at all. (Other than I get to lie down in a bed with him rather than on the floor beside his cot in the middle of the night).
    The last two nights I have been trying to re-instate self settling, by getting him cosy and comfy and then letting him know I need to go and do something like get my pjs on or fold some washing etc. and then going and coming back. The first night he got really upset as soon as I mentioned going anywhere and I waited until he was calm again and then left and he just laid there crying a little and calling out to me while I did a few things and then I went back and gave him another cuddle and I think he fell asleep or at least very very nearly before I left again. Tonight he was a mess at the mention of me leaving again and he pretty much did the same thing again but I came and went more times until I think he conked out while I was in there again. He alternated between talking to himself and calling out and a little crying each time I left. I feel like I'm getting it all wrong and it's stressing me out!! I have a new baby due in dec and I want to have his sleep/ settling a bit improved at least before then! I was a zombie for the first 9 months with DS and I can't imagine that plus extra wake ups from a toddler and having them both during the day!! Any advice would be much appreciated. I'm not keen on leaving him to cry, but like I said any advice is welcome. I am worried that in the mean time I am making him overtired as he is going to sleep late each night. Gah now I should stop rambling.... Let me know if you want any more details on our routine etc in order to help.

  7. #135
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    Default Helping your child sleep better

    Quote Originally Posted by Cap84 View Post
    Hi Ladies, I need some help. My 22 month old is often waking every 2 hrs through the night (sometimes more!), and there hasn't been a night when he hasn't woken at least 2-3 times in the last 5 months. He magically slept consistently though the night from about 14-17months and it was AMAZING. I want that again... Or at least closer to it! At 17 months we had a real spate of sickness and self settling went out the window. He has been in a big bed for a couple of months and it hasn't really made any difference at all. (Other than I get to lie down in a bed with him rather than on the floor beside his cot in the middle of the night).
    The last two nights I have been trying to re-instate self settling, by getting him cosy and comfy and then letting him know I need to go and do something like get my pjs on or fold some washing etc. and then going and coming back. The first night he got really upset as soon as I mentioned going anywhere and I waited until he was calm again and then left and he just laid there crying a little and calling out to me while I did a few things and then I went back and gave him another cuddle and I think he fell asleep or at least very very nearly before I left again. Tonight he was a mess at the mention of me leaving again and he pretty much did the same thing again but I came and went more times until I think he conked out while I was in there again. He alternated between talking to himself and calling out and a little crying each time I left. I feel like I'm getting it all wrong and it's stressing me out!! I have a new baby due in dec and I want to have his sleep/ settling a bit improved at least before then! I was a zombie for the first 9 months with DS and I can't imagine that plus extra wake ups from a toddler and having them both during the day!! Any advice would be much appreciated. I'm not keen on leaving him to cry, but like I said any advice is welcome. I am worried that in the mean time I am making him overtired as he is going to sleep late each night. Gah now I should stop rambling.... Let me know if you want any more details on our routine etc in order to help.
    My dd went through a similar stage around that age too - I think what made it seem extra hard was she was sleeping through for a few months but then stopped. This went on until around age 2.

    I have no issues with controlled crying for babies to help them to self settle but I think for a toddler it's more important for them to be there when they are distressed and we rode it out. It did get better.

    Has your ds got a special toy? I really encouraged dd to bond with a teddy around that age- asking her to cuddle it to sleep and gradually stepping away. There is no quick fix, it takes time and patience and consistency and suggest you keep doing what you are doing.

    I can completely relate to wanting it settled before bubs arrives! I am due with no 2 next month and dd just went through another phase of waking 2-3 times a night wanting cuddles and I was starting to get stressed about it but after a month or so it passed again and she has just started settling and sleeping through on her own again.

    It could also be molars so you could try some panadol 30 minutes before bed - or he just needs that extra reassurance. Also making sure your ds is not too wound up, a solid bedtime routine and maybe starting it a bit earlier or an earlier bedtime so he is not so overtired when he eventually conks out.

    Just my two cents anyway xxx

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  9. #136
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    Hi Hubbers,

    I'm dead on my feet today, after getting up to DS every 45 minutes all night. His sleep has been atrocious for about 4 months, but not quite this bad. I'm after your suggestions on what to do.

    DS is 9.5 months. He's never self settled. Whenever I've tried to teach him he either gets completely hysterical, or sits up as soon as I leave the room, no matter how tired he is. I always end up patting him to sleep.

    He generally has a nap 2.5 hours after he wakes in the morning, and then again 3 hours after he wakes from the morning nap. Naps are generally 1.5 hours. He goes to bed at 7, though sometimes getting him to sleep by 7 can be difficult. If he's not napping well, we move bedtime forward. He has a nap and bedtime routine.

    I've checked temperature of his room, tried to increase food through the day, he has a lovey, tried panadol in case of teeth, and probably a whole lot more things I can't think of right now.

    I suspect we're at the point of controlled comforting. CIO is not for me, and CC will be difficult enough. In relation to this though, what do I do if DS just lies in his cot for 40 min, and doesn't go to sleep? What do I do if he keeps sitting up? There is a good chance DS just won't nap/go to sleep without help. If I get him up after not sleeping, how long do we wait until we try again?

  10. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Dancer View Post
    Hi Hubbers,

    I'm dead on my feet today, after getting up to DS every 45 minutes all night. His sleep has been atrocious for about 4 months, but not quite this bad. I'm after your suggestions on what to do.

    DS is 9.5 months. He's never self settled. Whenever I've tried to teach him he either gets completely hysterical, or sits up as soon as I leave the room, no matter how tired he is. I always end up patting him to sleep.

    He generally has a nap 2.5 hours after he wakes in the morning, and then again 3 hours after he wakes from the morning nap. Naps are generally 1.5 hours. He goes to bed at 7, though sometimes getting him to sleep by 7 can be difficult. If he's not napping well, we move bedtime forward. He has a nap and bedtime routine.

    I've checked temperature of his room, tried to increase food through the day, he has a lovey, tried panadol in case of teeth, and probably a whole lot more things I can't think of right now.

    I suspect we're at the point of controlled comforting. CIO is not for me, and CC will be difficult enough. In relation to this though, what do I do if DS just lies in his cot for 40 min, and doesn't go to sleep? What do I do if he keeps sitting up? There is a good chance DS just won't nap/go to sleep without help. If I get him up after not sleeping, how long do we wait until we try again?
    I have zero answers. Our sleeps are a complete lucky dip-anywhere from self settling and sleeping through to fussing and crying for hours. We use a safe-t-sleep to keep him lying down. He can still move a bit, but can't stand up.

    I've read so many books and websites my confidence in knowing what to do with my son is shot.

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  12. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cap84 View Post
    Hi Ladies, I need some help. My 22 month old is often waking every 2 hrs through the night (sometimes more!), and there hasn't been a night when he hasn't woken at least 2-3 times in the last 5 months. He magically slept consistently though the night from about 14-17months and it was AMAZING. I want that again... Or at least closer to it! At 17 months we had a real spate of sickness and self settling went out the window. He has been in a big bed for a couple of months and it hasn't really made any difference at all. (Other than I get to lie down in a bed with him rather than on the floor beside his cot in the middle of the night).
    The last two nights I have been trying to re-instate self settling, by getting him cosy and comfy and then letting him know I need to go and do something like get my pjs on or fold some washing etc. and then going and coming back. The first night he got really upset as soon as I mentioned going anywhere and I waited until he was calm again and then left and he just laid there crying a little and calling out to me while I did a few things and then I went back and gave him another cuddle and I think he fell asleep or at least very very nearly before I left again. Tonight he was a mess at the mention of me leaving again and he pretty much did the same thing again but I came and went more times until I think he conked out while I was in there again. He alternated between talking to himself and calling out and a little crying each time I left. I feel like I'm getting it all wrong and it's stressing me out!! I have a new baby due in dec and I want to have his sleep/ settling a bit improved at least before then! I was a zombie for the first 9 months with DS and I can't imagine that plus extra wake ups from a toddler and having them both during the day!! Any advice would be much appreciated. I'm not keen on leaving him to cry, but like I said any advice is welcome. I am worried that in the mean time I am making him overtired as he is going to sleep late each night. Gah now I should stop rambling.... Let me know if you want any more details on our routine etc in order to help.
    I could have written this. Except last week I was up to my DD 15 times in 1 night. And that was with me cosleeping from 3!

    I have no advice. I just keep going in and lying with her then sneaking out when she's asleep. I suspect she has bad separation anxiety as a few people in her life have been away a lot lately. When they were home last week she slept well.

    I just wanted you to know you're not alone?

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  14. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Dancer View Post
    Hi Hubbers,

    I'm dead on my feet today, after getting up to DS every 45 minutes all night. His sleep has been atrocious for about 4 months, but not quite this bad. I'm after your suggestions on what to do.

    DS is 9.5 months. He's never self settled. Whenever I've tried to teach him he either gets completely hysterical, or sits up as soon as I leave the room, no matter how tired he is. I always end up patting him to sleep.

    He generally has a nap 2.5 hours after he wakes in the morning, and then again 3 hours after he wakes from the morning nap. Naps are generally 1.5 hours. He goes to bed at 7, though sometimes getting him to sleep by 7 can be difficult. If he's not napping well, we move bedtime forward. He has a nap and bedtime routine.

    I've checked temperature of his room, tried to increase food through the day, he has a lovey, tried panadol in case of teeth, and probably a whole lot more things I can't think of right now.

    I suspect we're at the point of controlled comforting. CIO is not for me, and CC will be difficult enough. In relation to this though, what do I do if DS just lies in his cot for 40 min, and doesn't go to sleep? What do I do if he keeps sitting up? There is a good chance DS just won't nap/go to sleep without help. If I get him up after not sleeping, how long do we wait until we try again?
    Not sure it will work for older babies but tressillian told me to pat snd shoosh to the point babies are teally drowsy and then let them drift off on their own holding your hand on their chest. After about 5 days then you should be able to just place your hand on their chest and then just standing there. This is a gentle approach to teaching to self settl. As i said though not surebit will work as my bibs is 9 weeks and this is whatcwr are trying. Your not alone in the lack of sleep department

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  16. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by torn13 View Post
    Not sure it will work for older babies but tressillian told me to pat snd shoosh to the point babies are teally drowsy and then let them drift off on their own holding your hand on their chest. After about 5 days then you should be able to just place your hand on their chest and then just standing there. This is a gentle approach to teaching to self settl. As i said though not surebit will work as my bibs is 9 weeks and this is whatcwr are trying. Your not alone in the lack of sleep department
    Thanks for the suggestion. I've tried this method. I was really hoping it would work for us. Unfortunately, as soon as I stop patting, his little head pops up off the mattress and he looks at me like he thinks this means play time.

    I hope you have some luck with your bub. Sleep deprivation is terrible.


 

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