+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 19 FirstFirst 1234513 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 184
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    6,868
    Thanks
    5,192
    Thanked
    3,894
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    @Rose&Aurelia:

    When you have time it would be really nice if you feel like it to set out all the things you have done over the years to help manage your sleep deprivation. I know many many times when my kids were babies I came on here looking for support and when I read all you have been through and done to cope it really helped my head space.

    Not to put you on the spot or anything 😉
    I nap. Lots and lots of naps. When the kids were younger I would put them in the playpen then I'd lie next to the playpen and doze. When they slept at night time, I went straight to bed. If they woke at 4.30am and decided it was play time I'd go for a walk to wake up and once home quickly finish all my jobs so as soon as they would sleep, I could pass out. If they fell asleep in the car, I'd park somewhere shady and cool and nap myself.

    I found regular exercise helped me stay calm. A crappy overnight after effect was reduced by a good workout. Early mornings went from annoying to calming long walks. Even 2am screaming matches became walks up and down the street. Tho I never lost any weight as I ate my frustration in chocolate.

    But honestly, my kids were crappy sleepers in patches but not always. And they've always been great day nappers so that's how I continued to function on broken sleep overnight. I'm rambling now but I believe that once we accept that our kids are crappy sleepers for whatever reason then there is less anxiety all around. When dd1 was waking every 40min from 6-9mths it was a freakish nightmare. But it passed as I bed shared thru this. She had horrible separation anxiety and even now as a 5yo she will bed share when Dh is home as she misses him. When dd1 went thru the 18mth regression and flat out refused to go to sleep I almost lost it. I had to walk her in the pram every day for naps and bedtime. It sucked as it lasted 4-5mths and I went from 7mths pregnant and then with a newborn doing this malarkey. The amount of ppl who told me to drop a nap where endless but we persevered as we knew she needed that nap. Then it just miraculously passed. Now at 5yo she still naps 1.5-3hrs every day.

    Dd2 was a clockwork 3hrly feeder till 9mths. Nothing could make her drop those overnight feeds. It was getting to me and I was part of that sleep vents thread for it. I had a toddler and was back at work so couldn't nap as much. But that passed too. Dd2 is currently 3yo and going thru a very needy phase. So whilst she goes down easily in her own bed she moves into our bed once she wakes. Meh. It won't last forever. Plus it's not worth the electricity bill to run separate heaters in the bedrooms.

    I think I managed with acceptance, naps and bedsharing.

    It will be interesting in October when I have a newborn, 3&5yo with DH away.

  2. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Rose&Aurelia&Hannah For This Useful Post:

    HollyGolightly81  (16-08-2015),hoping28  (17-08-2015),lilypily  (16-08-2015),LoveLivesHere  (17-08-2015),misskittyfantastico  (16-08-2015),Mod-Nomsie  (16-08-2015),smallpotatoes  (16-08-2015),Sonja  (16-08-2015),TwiceBlessed  (17-08-2015)

  3. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,694
    Thanks
    1,185
    Thanked
    3,209
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Sleeping Like A Baby

    Quote Originally Posted by TwiceBlessed View Post
    Thankyou @Mod-Nomsie for this great thread.
    I've only posted a couple of times before as I felt that I had nothing extra to offer in the sleep debate and I can only speak for my kids, not anyone elses. I have a 4yo DS1 who is pretty good now but comes in to our bed some nights for the last couple of hours or so - we don't fight it anymore and enjoy the cuddles. Mr DS2 17 months has always been super high needs but it has taken me until a few months ago, failed sleep school and feeling awful about myself to realise that if he is that way during the day why would he stop needing me overnight. Pretty much once I stopped listening, googling and worrying about his sleep, it became less of an issue for our family. It's not that he is heaps better (he isn't ) but we just accept as part of his makeup - after all we did nothing different that we had with DS1 - they are just different personalities with different needs. I have just made peace with his sleep habits and in those dark teary moments I remind myself that the sleep deprivation will end, one day I will get more than 3 hours sleep in a row and that I will remember his baby years for all the right reasons and not for the crappy sleep. I am here for my boys when they need me.
    My Rule: One healthy, cheeky toddler smile is worth a hundred sleepless hours.
    We can all only parent our kids in the way that feels right to us and for our family. No-one can argue with that.
    Perfect. It's only and issue if it's an issue for you. I made peace with my boy also as really it just wasn't an issue to Co sleep so we just did and life was great again. Good on you

    My 4 year old needs me to lay beside him each night to fall asleep. There is so much bad bad bad stuff in the world that frightens me so much but doing this one thing for him is a privilege and so grounding for me. He has a double bed and will call out for me during the night. I don't even know I've done it and wake up in his bed. It just works and I'm happy with it
    Last edited by lilypily; 16-08-2015 at 21:36.

  4. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to lilypily For This Useful Post:

    HollyGolightly81  (16-08-2015),misskittyfantastico  (16-08-2015),MrsSS  (17-08-2015),smallpotatoes  (16-08-2015),TwiceBlessed  (17-08-2015)

  5. #23
    Mod-Nomsie's Avatar
    Mod-Nomsie is offline Administrator
    Winner 2009/10/11/12/13 - Most helpful Moderator
    Winner 2011 - Naughtiest/Cheekiest Mod
    Winner - Quickest 'Thanker' on the Hub
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Vic
    Posts
    23,657
    Thanks
    6,899
    Thanked
    7,026
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 15/1/15
    You've just bought back flashbacks of when my boys were under two. Up until two they had never slept through, and most nights I would be up between 10-20 times.
    I often write that on bh and wonder if people read it and scoff, like I'm exaggerating just to get a reaction. I wish I was. I was so broken I could barely function and I swear to god I fought it tooth and nail. I tried everything. Too hot. Too cold. Too early a bedtime. Too late a bedtime. Too much love. Not enough love. Too light. Too dark. Too noisy. Too quiet. I tried it all.
    And then I admitted defeat and thought "this is my new life". And then I cried for about 2 days, straightened myself out and sucked it up. And it was so much easier to deal. Even on the nights when I was up 30+ times. (Pretty much as soon as your head hits the pillow another one is awake). I used to sometimes be so tired I would forget which boy I was helping and when I put him back in what I thought was his cot, I was just stacking him on top of his brother. Then I would have two screaming boys all over again.
    But yes- acceptance and lots of naps was my turnaround and saving grace.
    Sometimes in the past when dd has had a bad night all I have to do is tell myself that she wasn't as bad as the boys were at that age, so at least there is that.

  6. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Nomsie For This Useful Post:

    HollyGolightly81  (16-08-2015),LoveLivesHere  (17-08-2015),misskittyfantastico  (16-08-2015),Mokeybear  (17-08-2015),MrsSS  (17-08-2015),TwiceBlessed  (17-08-2015)

  7. #24
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    9,994
    Thanks
    6,239
    Thanked
    15,889
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 2/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 19/3/15Busiest Member of the Week200 Posts in a week
    @Mod-Nomsie I'm sorry but the thought of you stacking your boys made me giggle. I get it - once I was so tired I freaked out because I couldn't find DS's head...

    I can't imagine doing it with two. You're amazing.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to harvs For This Useful Post:

    HollyGolightly81  (16-08-2015),Mod-Nomsie  (16-08-2015)

  9. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    17,747
    Thanks
    5,085
    Thanked
    8,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    100 Posts in a week
    So happy to see this thread!
    I'm an old fart with older kids (nearly 10, 7.5 and nearly 4) so I have distance I suppose from the horrible sleep deprivation of really little people but I just want to say a couple of things that I have learned from my parenting journey - these are of course not any kind of universal truths, they're just true for my children and my family.
    I think it can be entirely normal for babies, children, teens and adults to not sleep through the night.
    I think that comforting my children to sleep as babies and as older children (in different ways as they get older, a tucking in, laying and having a good chat etc...) feels right for us.
    Having children in our bed and sleeping apart hasn't harmed my relationship with my husband in any way, shape or form. In fact, I feel extremely blessed that he has always been on the same page as me with regard to bed sharing.
    I don't consider my children to be poor sleepers/bad sleepers or any other negative connotation. They are normal and healthy and fabulous!
    I believe that language matters. I always felt so badly about my children and their sleeping habits - guilty and defective and once I just mentally said oh bugger off to unrealistic expectations I felt much more at peace.
    I believe that this is such a short period in the grand scheme of things and such a small part of who we are that I refuse to dwell on where and how my babies and children sleep.
    I'm a HUGE believer of the nap and the vent - both are entirely necessary!!

  10. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to misskittyfantastico For This Useful Post:

    HollyGolightly81  (17-08-2015),Mod-Nomsie  (16-08-2015),MrsSS  (17-08-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (16-08-2015),smallpotatoes  (16-08-2015),TwiceBlessed  (17-08-2015)

  11. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    6,868
    Thanks
    5,192
    Thanked
    3,894
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    So happy to see this thread!
    I'm an old fart with older kids (nearly 10, 7.5 and nearly 4) so I have distance I suppose from the horrible sleep deprivation of really little people but I just want to say a couple of things that I have learned from my parenting journey - these are of course not any kind of universal truths, they're just true for my children and my family.
    I think it can be entirely normal for babies, children, teens and adults to not sleep through the night.
    I think that comforting my children to sleep as babies and as older children (in different ways as they get older, a tucking in, laying and having a good chat etc...) feels right for us.
    Having children in our bed and sleeping apart hasn't harmed my relationship with my husband in any way, shape or form. In fact, I feel extremely blessed that he has always been on the same page as me with regard to bed sharing.
    I don't consider my children to be poor sleepers/bad sleepers or any other negative connotation. They are normal and healthy and fabulous!
    I believe that language matters. I always felt so badly about my children and their sleeping habits - guilty and defective and once I just mentally said oh bugger off to unrealistic expectations I felt much more at peace.
    I believe that this is such a short period in the grand scheme of things and such a small part of who we are that I refuse to dwell on where and how my babies and children sleep.
    I'm a HUGE believer of the nap and the vent - both are entirely necessary!!
    I agree with you completely. I think as new mums we are desperate for the kids to sleep as its considered abnormal when they don't. But as our kids grow up we realise that those years are so small in comparison to life in general. That it's important to parent the children we have vs the mythical children in books/other families.

    I love your stance on your kids "I don't consider my children to be poor sleepers/bad sleepers or any other negative connotation. They are normal and healthy and fabulous! "

    We all need to remember our children are fabulous little beings with their own personality. Accepting who they are as individuals and as they are is an important part of parenting. We may not like aspects of their behaviour, but that's what vent threads are for.

    Cudos to you miss kitty!

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Rose&Aurelia&Hannah For This Useful Post:

    misskittyfantastico  (16-08-2015),TwiceBlessed  (17-08-2015)

  13. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4,210
    Thanks
    3,644
    Thanked
    3,453
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    @Mod-Nomsie I'm sorry but the thought of you stacking your boys made me giggle. I get it - once I was so tired I freaked out because I couldn't find DS's head...

    I can't imagine doing it with two. You're amazing.
    We used to put DS to sleep in his room and then whenever his first wake up was he'd come to the bednest in our room. The amount of times I woke in the middle of the night looking for him in his room when he was next to me the whole time! 😳

    Then when we moved house...the amount of times DH woke to me looking for DS on the night table but he was in his room...or me looking for DS in his cot and he had been in the guest bed with me....seriously could never find the kid!

  14. #28
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    17,747
    Thanks
    5,085
    Thanked
    8,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I agree with you completely. I think as new mums we are desperate for the kids to sleep as its considered abnormal when they don't. But as our kids grow up we realise that those years are so small in comparison to life in general. That it's important to parent the children we have vs the mythical children in books/other families.

    I love your stance on your kids "I don't consider my children to be poor sleepers/bad sleepers or any other negative connotation. They are normal and healthy and fabulous! "

    We all need to remember our children are fabulous little beings with their own personality. Accepting who they are as individuals and as they are is an important part of parenting. We may not like aspects of their behaviour, but that's what vent threads are for.

    Cudos to you miss kitty!
    Right back at you!
    I honestly don't know that I'll stay around the hub for too much longer but I really hope that this sticky stays alive. I've said it so often before but it was in a similar thread and the words were by a hubber I hugely respected and she said it was NORMAL for infants and toddlers to wake and to seek comfort from their parent and I just had the biggest light bulb moment. I wasn't doing anything wrong and neither was my baby.
    Sorry, that was long winded!

  15. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to misskittyfantastico For This Useful Post:

    HollyGolightly81  (17-08-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (17-08-2015),Sonja  (16-08-2015),TwiceBlessed  (17-08-2015)

  16. #29
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4,210
    Thanks
    3,644
    Thanked
    3,453
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    This just popped up in my feed and thought it was perfect for here. It's the type of article and attitude that needed to dominate my reading in those days where I was feeling defeated. I actually had a friend tell me I wasn't allowed to complain about being tired if I wasn't willing to fix it.


    http://www.pinkymckay.com/what-every...needs-to-know/

  17. #30
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked
    23
    Reviews
    0
    Update for last night - DS2 made it thru to 5.15am before he woke up. This was after a couple of patts in the evening and then a dream feed at 10.30pm, but yay for him!!
    I used not tell anyone for fear that it would jinx us, but I don't care now coz I now he won't do it again for another couple of months, it was just a mistake on his part to keep on sleeping . But I know that he is capable of it and it is just a matter of time till he gets it.
    Of course I still woke up 3 times and then lay there wondering if he was about to start crying.
    I fed him back to sleep at 5.15 - its a daycare/work day for us, so we all need that extra hour sleep, especially DS2 otherwise he'll have a long day without me to help him sleep. If I have a tool that works (feeding to sleep when I need to) I will damn well use it in the interests of my baby and family.
    He's stirring now at 7am! Gotta go and make a fuss of him!

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to TwiceBlessed For This Useful Post:

    BettyV  (17-08-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (17-08-2015)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Dream baby guide and sleeping issues - anyone have any feedback?
    By Pearlygirl in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 21-05-2015, 21:15
  2. Leaving sleeping baby at home..alone?!
    By mezzo in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 185
    Last Post: 07-02-2015, 22:06
  3. Sleeping bags and a cold baby
    By Pearlygirl in forum General Chat
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 19-01-2015, 12:11

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
BAE The Label
Versatile, premium maternity wear that you will love throughout pregnancy and long after. Cleverly designed for for all stages of motherhood so that you can 'Just be you (+1)'.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and Broadway
Pregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. Pregnancy back and pelvic pain. Also, we treat postnatal and women of all ages. Incontinence, prolapse, sexual and pelvic pain.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!