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  1. #161
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    Default Sleeping Like A Baby

    Sorry I'm just getting round to responding now. Thank you for your lovely messages ladies, made me cry when I read them knowing people just get it. And Little Miss, you should win a bubhub award for post of the year!

    I'm disappointed for looking things up because I know they just cause me more anxiety, too many opinions and wondering why my baby can't be like that. Especially Gina Ford! According to her my 5 week old should only be waking once right now and if he's waking more it means I'm not breastfeeding properly.... Which then leads me to googling more...

    I just want to go with the flow but f it's hard! Last night was 9.45, 1.30, and 4 but then from 4 he wanted to be held so I've pretty much been up since then. He seems to get really congested and snuffly around 4am, breaths fine the whole night until then.

    I'm just feeling so anxious and down and finding I'm wishing the days away and not properly enjoying this new little nugget I have. I do know it gets better, how often have I told others my story with DS1 but right now I can't see the wood for the trees. I just want to not feel so tired that my body hurts and feel happy. I lost my shiz at DS1 yesterday and I feel awful about it.

  2. #162
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    I just wanted to say, a five week old only waking once?! Who is she kidding?! I would think that would be the exception, not the rule.
    And big hugs, sleep deprivation is so so hard.

  3. #163
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    I don't even know where to put this, if I just want to cry and vent or actually seek advice but I feel like loosing it. I've been up since 4.30am after a night of 14.5 week old DS pretty much waking every two hours or every time I put him down. I don't know if it's a leap, unsettledness from us being on holiday a week so whatever routine we did have went out the window, or if I've just created a monster by breastfeeding him to sleep regularly. But I don't know what else to do for sleep when I am on my own all day and have a toddler in the other room to worry about (so I go for a walk for sleeps or feed him as its fastest). Even if I wanted to sleep train I don't know where to begin with a toddler to worry about. How the hell do you pat for ages when a toddler is in another room shouting 'mommy!' or getting into God knows what? I have PND and I'm so anxious and I feel like running away. The idea of leaving him to cry sends my anxiety through the roof but what if that's my only choice? I really don't want to do that. I just don't know what to do anymore and it's hard to remember this will pass because right now I don't feel like it will and I am worried I've created 'bad habits.'

    Sorry for the ridiculous rant of nothing really.

  4. #164
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    AdornedWithCats is offline Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Huge hugs @HollyGolightly81
    Has he hit the 4 month sleep regression or in a leap? He is still so little...it is so hard when it feels like its never ending. Fx you get some rest soon xx

    I still bf my 2.5 year old ds to sleep. Pfft 'bad habits'...its lovely having that time to reconnect with him after a long day at work/cc.

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    HollyGolightly81  (06-09-2016)

  6. #165
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I don't even know where to put this, if I just want to cry and vent or actually seek advice but I feel like loosing it. I've been up since 4.30am after a night of 14.5 week old DS pretty much waking every two hours or every time I put him down. I don't know if it's a leap, unsettledness from us being on holiday a week so whatever routine we did have went out the window, or if I've just created a monster by breastfeeding him to sleep regularly. But I don't know what else to do for sleep when I am on my own all day and have a toddler in the other room to worry about (so I go for a walk for sleeps or feed him as its fastest). Even if I wanted to sleep train I don't know where to begin with a toddler to worry about. How the hell do you pat for ages when a toddler is in another room shouting 'mommy!' or getting into God knows what? I have PND and I'm so anxious and I feel like running away. The idea of leaving him to cry sends my anxiety through the roof but what if that's my only choice? I really don't want to do that. I just don't know what to do anymore and it's hard to remember this will pass because right now I don't feel like it will and I am worried I've created 'bad habits.'

    Sorry for the ridiculous rant of nothing really.
    I want you to know I hear you and am here to listen.

    There are no bad habits with feeding to sleep at that age.

    Do whatever you have to do. I have not thought of sleep training as the toddler will ruin it all. Me holding bub and watching tv with the toddler works for us atm. It will not be forever.

    I dump (that sounds horrible) DD with DH when he gets home. I get 5 mins with no kids then that recharges me a little.

    I was/am doing one day at a time. Its the only way I am getting through it.

    Many many hugs

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    HollyGolightly81  (06-09-2016)

  8. #166
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    @HollyGolightly81 so many hugs.

    Screw bad habits do whatever you have to do to get through. I've been awake since 2am - the only reason I got any sleep before that is because DH sat up with DS3.

    I hear everything you're saying and wish I had an answer for you. My greatest stress right now is how the hell in going to cope with no sleep and DS2 once DH returns to work.

    When DS2 was keeping me awake all night (he used to feed every 45 minutes 24/7 until he was well over 12 months) I used to only think about the moment. I only had to get through one more night because the next night might be better.

    Just take it one moment at a time. Do what you have to do to get through it and get some sleep. Ask for whatever help you can. But don't blame yourself for your baby's sleep (or lack!).

    Massive hugs xx

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    HollyGolightly81  (06-09-2016)

  10. #167
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    @HollyGolightly81 huge hugs. DS started a really crappy sleep phase at that point too. It didn't matter what I did or didn't do, he still slept badly. Looking back, I wish I had just done what I needed to do to get him to sleep - rock/walk/swing/cuddle/wear/boob until he was out. I tried all the things you're supposed to (except I couldn't leave him to cry, I was way too anxious), and nothing made a difference. He just wanted the boob. And once he had it, he was out. Don't worry about habits. Just do what you need to, in order to get through.

    If leaving him to cry makes you anxious - don't do it. It will be so much harder if you aren't committed to it, and he'll pick up on your anxiety too.

    Huge hugs again.

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    HollyGolightly81  (06-09-2016)

  12. #168
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I don't even know where to put this, if I just want to cry and vent or actually seek advice but I feel like loosing it. I've been up since 4.30am after a night of 14.5 week old DS pretty much waking every two hours or every time I put him down. I don't know if it's a leap, unsettledness from us being on holiday a week so whatever routine we did have went out the window, or if I've just created a monster by breastfeeding him to sleep regularly. But I don't know what else to do for sleep when I am on my own all day and have a toddler in the other room to worry about (so I go for a walk for sleeps or feed him as its fastest). Even if I wanted to sleep train I don't know where to begin with a toddler to worry about. How the hell do you pat for ages when a toddler is in another room shouting 'mommy!' or getting into God knows what? I have PND and I'm so anxious and I feel like running away. The idea of leaving him to cry sends my anxiety through the roof but what if that's my only choice? I really don't want to do that. I just don't know what to do anymore and it's hard to remember this will pass because right now I don't feel like it will and I am worried I've created 'bad habits.'

    Sorry for the ridiculous rant of nothing really.
    This happened to me with my second. She just wanted boob for sleep, and it was too hard to do anything else with a toddler. Awake every hour during the night so I just co slept on a mattress on the floor, basically with my boob in her mouth all night. Or I used her pram a lot. She would be pushed to sleep in that. Night or day.
    It did eventually change. But I completely remember how hard it was. So sending big hugs to you.

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    HollyGolightly81  (06-09-2016)

  14. #169
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    So many hugs

    i dont have advice, but does it help to know you are not alone? I have my 9 month old up hourly through the night, my 2 yr old wakes every day at 5am and my 7 yr old has nightmares. It's horrible. i feed to sleep and every single time I contemplate trying other options I come to the conclusion it's pointless. My toddler simply will not allow me to spend time getting the baby to sleep any other way (aside from car rides and walks in the pram/ergo). My saving grace has been that my toddler still naps and I manage to coordinate a period of the day where we all lay in bed together and nap. And, it's only been in the last week I can see my ds2 stretch out his sleep cycles a little naturally, so fingers crossed thats here to stay.

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    HollyGolightly81  (06-09-2016)

  16. #170
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    Holly - without going into sleep training specifics as this isn't the thread for that, here are some general 'cheaters' tips (I wear that title proudly!)

    1) if you can put ds1 in daycare 2-3 days per week (even half days). Add the 2? Days hubby is home and that only leaves 2-3 days where you have to figure out how to get bub to sleep while entertaining a toddler.

    2) Nap or movie: if you can time the afternoon naps for both your kids at similar times. Put your ds1 down first so you can focus on ds2. If ds1 no longer naps then a good Disney movie will hopefully work wonders (allows you time to focus on putting ds2 to sleep). God bless TV and god bless Disney Pixar!

    Good luck

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    HollyGolightly81  (06-09-2016)


 

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