@Charlie74 there's no easy answer to feeling this way. I do have children however that has not been easy and I have had a neonatal death at 28 weeks ( I hope I'm not saying the wrong thing by mentioning this on this forum). Hence I find myself at 42 desperately wanting another child after 5 years of recovery from that experience. I feel a desperation and fruitlessness in this TTC and IVF process and can completely relate to how you are feeling. I have never experienced such a roller coaster of one minute something positive next minute another hurdle. My tip - I went to Lorna Jane and bought myself some exercise gear and have started walking to give myself a focus and get those feel good endorphins up. It can be anything really, just something to focus on and try and reduce the all consuming nature of this process.