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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Nuh-ah! The figure I quoted and then re-reacted at the request of Harvs was 9.5/10 not 10/10
    Ok I have no idea what you mean by this but I'm not just talking about that comment. You just don't seem willing to ever acknowledge that night waking in children can be normal. No matter how many times people tell you that for their child it is.
    @A-Squared I'm not sure you've understood what I'm saying. I don't believe in a camp that is the opposite of the all babies will sleep through camp. I'm not saying at all that babies will never sleep through. I'm a bit lost to be honest about what camp you think I'm in.

    I have 4 kids. 2 are pretty good sleepers 5 nights a week. But they wake up during the night on those other 2 nights. My second wakes once every night but once we tuck her back in goes back to sleep. My near 2 year old still wakes once every night and needs to be cuddled back to sleep.

    I think my kids are actually pretty normal.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    What I get annoyed with is normal childhood behaviour is deemed abnormal or unacceptable because it's inconvenient for some western parenting.

    I have a mix of Indian and non Indian friends. My Indian friends have kids that rarely have consistent naps, sleep everywhere, out late fairly often and overnight wake ups aren't even acknowledged as everyone cosleeps.

    So in comparison to that my kids are sleep too much and I'm a rigid parent who needs to relax.

    I hate the fact there is a need "to tweak" our kids. Why not just let them be? Every kid is different and the same parenting style won't suit everyone. If we accepted our kids have their own personality and that we need to parent to their needs vs some unknown standard then we would all be happier people.

    My 3yo is going thru a very clingy phase. She has no medical issues, no illness, teething nor is she an overtly anxious child. But if she sleeps with me in my bed she will sleep 7pm-6am straight with a 2-3hr nap. If she sleeps with dh she wakes a couple of times and needs reassurance and doesnt nap properly. If she sleeps with her sister, no wake ups. If she is by herself she gets really upset. So what she needs is me or my dd1 to be happy. Then I do everything I can to make my kids happy and emotionally calm. I'm not going to tweak her behaviour, nor her routine as I value her as her own person and I respect her needs.



    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    I can only speak for myself here but growing up, I never needed my parents to go to the toilet, for cuddles in the night drinks etc. It was how I was brought up. Once we were in bed we were in bed, we only ever got up or called out if we were sick. So that's how I parent now. DD is the same. Even since going into her big girl bed, she has a gro clock and knows she can't get up if the stars are showing and she stays in bed all night. I hear her have a little whinge occasionally in the middle of the night but she goes back to sleep. She was a terrible sleeper in her first year but is now a perfect sleeper. I'm expecting eventually DS will be the same.

    DH and I don't want to co - sleep. Is it because our western culture says it's bad? Nope! Just because we never slept in our parents beds and we don't want out kids sleeping in our beds, it's what we are used to. Plus there have been times I have tried to put both kids in bed at some point in time with us and they just party like it's 1999! It doesn't work for my kids.

    Im a terrible parent and person on limited sleep - this morning for example after the 2 hourly wake ups and I'm more than happy to put my hand up that I'm going to tweak and tweak and tweak until DS sleeps in a way that allows me to be a high functions parent. As they say it isn't a problem until it's a problem. Some parents can cope with broken sleep for years on end, I can't, so unfortunately I do believe I need to tweak their sleep behaviour so that our family 'works'.

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  5. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post

    I think my kids are actually pretty normal.
    In my opinion they absolutely are 😊

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    Sonja  (11-08-2015)

  7. #44
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    I think @Sonja (correct me if I am wrong) is saying that baby/children are people and we all have different sleep pattern naturally. That not sleeping through from birth/6 weeks/12 months etc.. is okay. It's normal. That kids that do sleep through are normal too.

    That the idea that if they are not sleeping at x age they need to trained or tweaked is wrong.

    That of course the environment should be as ideal for sleep as it should for Everyone.

    It's not a problem child or problem parenting if your child is not sleeping through.

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  9. #45
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    Thanks Sonja - so true. I feel like once I accepted that kids wake up my life was so much better. The anxiety and pressure that I was putting on myself to get my kids to sleep through was causing me more dramas that the kids actually waking up through the night. I know I am going to get more sleep - Kids move out at about 18 - 19??? right???

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (11-08-2015)

  11. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    I think @Sonja (correct me if I am wrong) is saying that baby/children are people and we all have different sleep pattern naturally. That not sleeping through from birth/6 weeks/12 months etc.. is okay. It's normal. That kids that do sleep through are normal too.

    That the idea that if they are not sleeping at x age they need to trained or tweaked is wrong.

    That of course the environment should be as ideal for sleep as it should for Everyone.

    It's not a problem child or problem parenting if your child is not sleeping through.
    Yes. That's it. Thank you

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    LoveLivesHere  (11-08-2015)

  13. #47
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    I wholeheartedly agree with you Sonja My 6 yr old still needs to cosleep with me, and I can't think of a single reason why we shouldn't. Neither of my kids have been 'good' sleepers, and I would be willing to bet my right arm that the one I'm expecting won't be either. That is ok with me, as I simply don't expect it.

  14. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    What I get annoyed with is normal childhood behaviour is deemed abnormal or unacceptable because it's inconvenient for some western parenting.

    I have a mix of Indian and non Indian friends. My Indian friends have kids that rarely have consistent naps, sleep everywhere, out late fairly often and overnight wake ups aren't even acknowledged as everyone cosleeps.

    So in comparison to that my kids are sleep too much and I'm a rigid parent who needs to relax.

    I hate the fact there is a need "to tweak" our kids. Why not just let them be? Every kid is different and the same parenting style won't suit everyone. If we accepted our kids have their own personality and that we need to parent to their needs vs some unknown standard then we would all be happier people.

    My 3yo is going thru a very clingy phase. She has no medical issues, no illness, teething nor is she an overtly anxious child. But if she sleeps with me in my bed she will sleep 7pm-6am straight with a 2-3hr nap. If she sleeps with dh she wakes a couple of times and needs reassurance and doesnt nap properly. If she sleeps with her sister, no wake ups. If she is by herself she gets really upset. So what she needs is me or my dd1 to be happy. Then I do everything I can to make my kids happy and emotionally calm. I'm not going to tweak her behaviour, nor her routine as I value her as her own person and I respect her needs.



    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    Just quoting this because I couldn't thank it more than once.

    We are not training little robots. We have little individual human beings living with us, that all have different needs and wants, and those wants change sometimes on a daily basis. Why so rigid? Why can't we respect our childs wishes? Why is it that if a child wakes for a cuddle, we see it as A Problem that needs to be fixed?

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  16. #49
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    My people!!!!!!

    DD has always been a crappy sleeper from day 1 and she's now 5!
    Not that I can talk, I'm almost 30 and still randomly wake up during the night and find it hard to drift off to sleep.
    Last edited by Gracie's Mum; 11-08-2015 at 09:28.

  17. #50
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    After a shocker night with DD - 4.5 weeks I started this morning to feel like I was doing something wrong. I had promised myself, after fruitless worrying and trying to control DS sleep that I would just go with it this time.

    Thanks @Sonja for this wonderfully timed post!!! Acceptance is far better for my state of mind when it comes to baby/toddler/children sleeping. Fighting it is what causes me terrible angst.

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