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  1. #11
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    I am 34 and I do not consistently sleep through the night. Quick, someone get me on a TH routine stat! It must be environmental factors and it will surely be an easy fix!

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    I totally agree. Although I do not doubt that some kids will sleep through by 'tweaking' their routine, I believe that is more the exception than the rule and now believe that 'sleeping through' (when talking about a baby) is more to do with being a developmental milestone (where like with everything our babies do it happens at different ages for everyone) than to do with something we are or are not doing. With children, like you said there are so many reasons they wake (nightmares, etc). Adults do not even sleep through, or go 12+ hours without eating or drinking so I don't really understand why we put so much pressure on our children.

    The constant comments making me think I was doing something wrong in terms of my child sleeping through is what caused me anxiety, not his not sleeping. For him, once he started walking he stopped waking (except when serious teething is happening), to me that shows a clear connection that developmental milestones play a huge part for a lot of children (hence The Wonder Weeks) book.

    I never used to care about Tizzie, to each their own. But she recently commented on a Facebook comment I made which triggered me looking into her and her advice a lot more. I now think she's pretty full of it and dangerous so if anyone passed her advice on to me I would reply 'pfffft.'

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    Since I have become a parent of four, I have come to the realisation that sleep is over-rated. I also don't like to look at my Fitbit if I have worn it overnight, because quite often it tells me I have woken up to 18 times in the night, eeep, so yeah, sleep's over-rated, even my kids agree.

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    This is why I'm only having 2 children. I love my sleep too much!

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    Amen!

    I've done a lot with DD over the years to help her sleep better and more consistently, and don't get me wrong I think most of it has helped, but since coming to the realisation that her waking at night is not a reflection of my parenting... it's like a huge weight has been lifted. None of our families sleep well: DH is up and down through the night and on both sides DDs cousins are terrible sleepers too (age ranges 1-10). I feel like neither ends of the spectrum of "experts" from Pinky to Tizzie have been able to help our situation. Sleep isn't black or white and what works for one child won't necessarily work for another!

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    Default Not every child will sleep

    I should add that to me, 'sleeping through' doesn't mean sleeping 12 hours without a peep. To me it's more that they're going the night not being totally dependent on you to fall back asleep (ie requiring being fed, rocked, etc). If DS wakes because he's gotten himself into a funny position and just needs me to move him and is happy for me to walk away after, I count that as a win and that he slept through. Same with if he wakes for pain relief because he's teething, yes I got woken up to I help him but if it was only a brief waking I still consider him having slept through ☺️. I think I'd have the same mindset with nightmares or having to take them to the toilet (I guess depending on how long they were up!). So to me, even though we're exhausted, I think our kids are probably ok sleepers. ☺️
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 11-08-2015 at 04:58.

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    I'm deeply in love with you @Sonja



    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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    Default Not every child will sleep

    Ok I know you asked me to stay out of this thread but I am going to ignore that as I consider posting on an online forum and then asking someone to stay out of it because you disagree with their views to not being reasonable. I will however try my best to be respectful as overall you are a not a bad egg.

    I stand by what I said in the other thread. If older kids are consistently waking multiple times per night and there are no medical issues (physical or mental) then 9.5/10 the wakings are due to environmental factors (routine, timing of first day nap, temperature, aiding to sleep, too much day nap, parents response upon night waking ) that have may have become an entrenched habit and with a little tweaking can be reversed (eg if a child is cold grab a warmer doona or get a thermostat controlled heater).

    I will add that it's not easy to reverse the trend of an older kid waking at night - especially if more than one environmental factor is involved. It can take 2-3 days to form a habit but weeks or months to break one. So consistency and trying to nip any sleep issues in the bud at the earliest possible opportunity (when bub is still a bub) is key. If a parent is happy with the night wakings and doesn't feel the need to stop them thats ok too.

    Best of luck and as you said you don't want specific advice so I'm not going to offer it. Feel free to PM me if you change your mind I am more than happy to try and help.
    Last edited by VicPark; 11-08-2015 at 05:59.

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    @VicPark the reason I suggested you not comment was because I thought when I said I was starting a thread you were challenging me. Happy for your comments but this isn't a debate thread or a request for help with my kids sleeping. My kids are fine and so am I with the situation.

    I know you won't change your views on this topic. And neither will I.

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    Default Not every child will sleep

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Ok I know you asked me to stay out of this thread but I am going to ignore that as I consider posting on an online forum and then asking someone to stay out of it because you disagree with their views to not being reasonable. I will however try my best to be respectful as overall you are a not a bad egg.

    I stand by what I said in the other thread. If older kids are consistently waking multiple times per night and there are no medical issues (physical or mental) then 9.5/10 the wakings are due to environmental factors (routine, timing of first day nap, temperature, aiding to sleep, too much day nap, parents response upon night waking ) that have may have become an entrenched habit and with a little tweaking can be reversed (eg if a child is cold grab a warmer doona or get a thermostat controlled heater).

    I will add that it's not easy to reverse the trend of an older kid waking at night - especially if more than one environmental factor is involved. It can take 2-3 days to form a habit but weeks or months to break one. So consistency and trying to nip any sleep issues in the bud at the earliest possible opportunity (when bub is still a bub) is key.

    Best of luck and as you said you don't want specific advice so I'm not going to offer it. Feel free to PM me if you change your mind I am more than happy to try and help.
    Sonja actually acknowledged in her next comment that parents should still try to see if changing 'environmental' factors help. No one's denying that VP. BUT honestly, you and Tizzie are not experts or researchers on child development and actual experts in those areas claim waking is normal and *usually* means nothing is *wrong* with your parenting or your child.

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