All that said, there are actually studies that say development effects sleep. That's not me spouting some sort of parenting theory, The Wonder Weeks is a whole book on sleep regressions written by a couple of doctors based on their studies of babies.
Going back to your post before, I have a soft spot for you as well . And I started thinking after I wrote the post you last quoted, that I of course did play a part in all of that anxiety, I could have avoided forums, books, articles, but not so much the real life people making cheap comments . I also feel that of course some info is helpful and great to have help guide your way, but I think a majority of the time our instincts are better to follow. It's also about figuring out what type of parent you are/want to be and what book/expert suits you. There is SO much info out there and it's hard sometimes to weed your way through all of it and find the one that you click with ya know? I only just recently found one that I wish I had paid attention to in the earlier days. I'm also a completely different type of parent than I thought I would be. I've also definitely had people (in real life, not so much on this forum) make me feel bad for not 'properly' sleep training so the judgement definitely goes both ways.