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  1. #1
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    Default Not every child will sleep

    Ok I have no interest in derailing another thread but this comment keeps appearing in various sleep related threads:


    "Unless there are medical issues sleep throughout from kids are feasible with some tweaks to routine."

    I have 4 children who ALL still wake at various times overnight for various different reasons.

    My nearly 10 yo has nightmares. At least twice a week. She wakes and is extremely upset and can take awhile to go back to sleep.

    My 6 year old has an anxiety condition and is very wakeful. She often doesn't go to sleep until nearly 9pm and frequently wakes between 2 and 4am and again can be awake for up to an hour. There is no reason for this waking. She just wakes.

    My 4 year old son wakes about 3 x a week because he's cold, had a bad dream or just wakes and wants a cuddle and someone to stay with him until he goes back to sleep.

    My nearly 2 year old has never slept through. She is a terrible sleeper and doesn't need much sleep because she wakes at 530 am and is charming sweet and happy. She doesn't sleep during the day and goes down at 7.

    None of them fall asleep easily.

    Dh is a wonderful sleeper and can sleep anywhere and anytime. He spends most of his night moving from bedroom to bedroom settling our children.

    I am a terrible sleeper. Have been my entire life. As a child I never went to bed without a fight. I woke very early. But my parents never lost their temper with me and just accepted me for the terrible sleeper I was. I was the youngest of 4 and we were all different.

    I have done EVERYTHING humanly possible or imaginable to get my kids to sleep through reliably. The planets align once or twice a month and they all sleep well on the same night.

    My kids have no underlying medical issues that are behind this. No sore ears, nothing. They are just not great at sleeping. But neither am I. Luckily we are great at other things.

    Anyway I am so tired of reading on here that with tweaks in routine, or adjusting this or that, my kids could sleep through. Or maybe if I just tried this or that.

    Ok rant over. This isn't a debate thread. I merely started this so those of us with kids who don't sleep well know they are not alone.

    Oh and I don't want advice about how to make my kids sleep through either. 😀
    Last edited by Sonja; 10-08-2015 at 23:00.

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  3. #2
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    Omg I could kiss you. This post is the absolute truth. Not all kids will sleep through most of the time.
    :clap: :clap: :clap:

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    Thank you.

    I feel like in hindsight (and I should add, DS sleeps through almost all the time now but is still usually very resistant to sleep and can be up late if he has napped late, but it's a trade off I will accept!) my desperation to get DS sleeping through made my fatigue and anxiety around it all worse than if I had just accepted that he probably wouldn't.

    That was a very long sentence.

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    Very well said @Sonja, couldn't agree more!

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    Sounds tough! What an amazing hubby you have! I sure hope I get sleep throughs by the time my daughter is as old as your kids. I definitely don't expect her to sleep through now but have never really thought about sleep with older ones yet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    Sounds tough! What an amazing hubby you have! I sure hope I get sleep throughs by the time my daughter is as old as your kids. I definitely don't expect her to sleep through now but have never really thought about sleep with older ones yet.
    You may well. DD1 is great but as kids age they wake for all sorts of other reasons. Or they may not.

    I am only offering an alternative view that sometimes sleep is the luck of the draw. I look at my 2 year old and remind myself in a few years she'll be a teenager and I'll never get her out of bed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Thank you.

    I feel like in hindsight (and I should add, DS sleeps through almost all the time now but is still usually very resistant to sleep and can be up late if he has napped late, but it's a trade off I will accept!) my desperation to get DS sleeping through made my fatigue and anxiety around it all worse than if I had just accepted that he probably wouldn't.

    That was a very long sentence.
    Couldn't agree more. I wish I could take back all the wasted time I spent worrying and being in a state about their sleep. It didn't make them sleep and probably did more harm to all of us in the end.

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    If I can also add I am suggesting that if it is important to you as a parent to get more sleep you shouldn't try whatever you can to improve the situation. Trust me I know if we didn't implement certain things my darlings would probably be worse than they are.

    I am merely challenging the notion that kids only wake because of environmental factors or other reasons which can be tweaked to end the night waking.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Couldn't agree more. I wish I could take back all the wasted time I spent worrying and being in a state about their sleep. It didn't make them sleep and probably did more harm to all of us in the end.
    Amen Amen Amen

    DD was a shocking shocking shocking non sleeper, all the energy I put in to trying to change that .....just had me pulling my hair out, feeling inadequate and like I was a crappy failure of a mother. I wish I just accepted it at the time. I agree some kids are just poor sleepers, heck I can't sleep more than 6 hours in a row and that's just the way I am and I have no trouble accepting that.

    Back in the bad days I could not have read that thread about a baby sleeping for 11 hours straight with naps during the day without SEETHING with rage and jealously lol

    Sleep deprivation turns you into something you can hardly recognise.

    OT - Welcome back Sonja 🌟

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