+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 17 of 17
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4,210
    Thanks
    3,644
    Thanked
    3,453
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    This just popped up in my newsfeed and made me think of this thread. I'll copy and paste the article as well as the link but I thought it was great insight into your teacher's intentions and goes hand in hand with what LoveLivesHere said above.

    A Label by Any Other Name: One Teacher's View of Diagnosing a Child

    'I've been in teaching for at least a decade, more depending on how you count. It's been long enough, in any case, for me to be familiar with many, many children and the labels that seek to define them. And though I truly believe that there is no one way to be normal, I’ve taught enough children to recognize one who is not managing well in the classroom, a child overwhelmed by what his or her classmates consider mundane.
    I have spent most of my teaching years in preschool. Often children that I teach have yet to be diagnosed with this or that label. Mom has yet to cry. Maybe I am the first person to make her cry. Perhaps I am the one to tell her that the child she thought was so perfect might not be considered perfect by the rest of the world, that the possibility exists for her child to be the recipient of a dreaded label.
    People are for and against labels, for varied and sometimes valid reasons. Some people want children labeled as if the label in and of itself would help the child. A parent fights against a label if he or she thinks it’s going to hurt the child. A parent fights for the label if he or she thinks it might help his or her child. I’ve even overheard my own children’s pediatrician wonder aloud at how a certain label will affect insurance benefits.
    Autism, sensory integration disorder, dyslexia, ADD, ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, bipolar–the label options have multiplied considerably since I was a child. But each child with autism and each child with ADD has an individual story; each of them is a unique and wonderful person, a miracle really, just like anyone else.
    So what does the label really mean? In my mind the best labels are only this: a toolbox. They give the teacher, the parent, and ideally the child a new set of tools, a way to cope with the world around them that they didn’t have before. The label says to the child, the parent, the teacher, “Here is your toolbox. Here are ways other children have successfully coped with some of your same struggles. Maybe one of these tools will help you, too. Maybe then your days can be a little easier, a little less traumatic, a little more even keeled.”
    In an ideal world, a label would also give the parents, the teachers and the child support. The toolbox would also say, “Here’s your support! Here is somebody to help you operate in class because you might have missed the oral instructions. She might walk with you in line in the hallway too, because that seems like a rough time for you. Here Mom, here Dad, here is a nanny because we know that you had to go to therapy today instead of cooking that dinner you really wanted. And here Mom, here Dad, here teacher, here is someone to help you fill out the paperwork. Because all labels produce lots and lots of paperwork.”
    That would be ideal. But it’s not what we have. Most of what we have these days are strategies, sometimes medication, and very, very little in the way of support. We have leftover stigma from days gone by. We have preconceptions and plenty of frustration.
    I say all this not to say “poor teacher” or “poor parent” or even “poor child”.
    The reason I am writing this is to explain that there are not “sides” and this is not a battle.
    Your child’s teacher may be beaten down by a decrepit, overworked system. Or she may be fresh out of college and full of ideals. Your child’s teacher may love children. She may be exhausted at the end of the day and dread grading papers at night. She may have taught for 30 years. She might be tired. Or your child’s teacher may be 70 years old and still a spring chicken. Your child’s teacher may be teaching a grade level she doesn’t like or subject she’s not comfortable with.
    She enjoys summer and winter break to be sure, or she moonlights during vacations. But your child’s teacher most certainly went into teaching not for the winter break and not even for the summer break, but because she loved children, had something to offer children, and had a good rapport with children.
    And if your child’s teacher has to tell you that your child’s behavior is not typical of the peer group, it’s not because she doesn’t like your child. And it’s not because her job is too hard and the expectations are so high (although they are). It’s definitely not because she wants more paperwork.
    I can only speak for myself, but if I have taught your child, I have loved your child. I have loved your child regardless of whether he or she had special needs, struggled, or soared immediately upon entering the classroom. And if I have asked you whether you have considered this or that screening, whether you have questioned your child’s pediatrician about a certain behavior or lack thereof, whether you would mind if an outside observer spent time in our classroom, it is for this reason and this reason alone: I want your child to soar too.'

    http://community.today.com/parenting...?cid=sm_fbn_pt

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to HollyGolightly81 For This Useful Post:

    Frankenmum  (09-08-2015),Mamasupial  (09-08-2015),Sonja  (09-08-2015),SuperGranny  (11-08-2015)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,003
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Ok let me clarify my earlier comment about labels. DD2's conditions have labels (profoundly gifted and profoundly anxious). Those labels have been amazing for us and her as she has changed schools, has an educational intervention plan around her schooling and the teachers also know how she will react when her routine changes. We also see her private psych once a month or so to keep in touch.

    So I do agree to a certain extent.

    But to label every behaviour children exhibit sometimes takes away from what is just being a kid and what is actually a condition. Now I understand what we are talking about here is a subset of autism I understand but if you were going to look at these behaviours in isolation and give them that label I didn't necessarily agree.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    HollyGolightly81  (09-08-2015)

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,003
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    @HollyGolightly81 that article was great. Unfortunately my experience with gifted labels is not that positive in the school environment hence why we changed school.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    HollyGolightly81  (09-08-2015)

  7. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4,210
    Thanks
    3,644
    Thanked
    3,453
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Ok let me clarify my earlier comment about labels. DD2's conditions have labels (profoundly gifted and profoundly anxious). Those labels have been amazing for us and her as she has changed schools, has an educational intervention plan around her schooling and the teachers also know how she will react when her routine changes. We also see her private psych once a month or so to keep in touch.

    So I do agree to a certain extent.

    But to label every behaviour children exhibit sometimes takes away from what is just being a kid and what is actually a condition. Now I understand what we are talking about here is a subset of autism I understand but if you were going to look at these behaviours in isolation and give them that label I didn't necessarily agree.
    I understand your points and wasn't directing the article at you or PP, I had just been reading along and then that article popped up on my Facebook and I thought this was a good thread to share it in because I know there are parents that take a teacher's comments personally and believe the teacher just doesn't like or understand their child when in the fact the teacher is trying to help because they do genuinely believe something is up.

  8. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,003
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I understand your points and wasn't directing the article at you or PP, I had just been reading along and then that article popped up on my Facebook and I thought this was a good thread to share it in because I know there are parents that take a teacher's comments personally and believe the teacher just doesn't like or understand their child when in the fact the teacher is trying to help because they do genuinely believe something is up.
    It's fine I hadn't really taken your comments as directed at me. This is something I swing back and forth on depending on how good a day I've had with my daughter. We had a rough morning as the combination of a school project due tomorrow (she's a perfectionist so puts too much pressure on herself) and a birthday party this afternoon (she has major social anxiety) meant I would have been happy with any label as it means I "get" her more easily.

    It's hard because so often people think being gifted is, well, a gift but if I could hand it back and have a child who was mostly happy and comfortable in her own skin I would in a heart beat.

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    A-Squared  (10-08-2015),HollyGolightly81  (10-08-2015)

  10. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,644
    Thanks
    15,089
    Thanked
    11,253
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    It's fine I hadn't really taken your comments as directed at me. This is something I swing back and forth on depending on how good a day I've had with my daughter. We had a rough morning as the combination of a school project due tomorrow (she's a perfectionist so puts too much pressure on herself) and a birthday party this afternoon (she has major social anxiety) meant I would have been happy with any label as it means I "get" her more easily.

    It's hard because so often people think being gifted is, well, a gift but if I could hand it back and have a child who was mostly happy and comfortable in her own skin I would in a heart beat.
    Mega hugs.
    I agree that giftedness is not a wonder bed of roses people think it is. In fact it is as hard as a child with severe learning disabilities, in my experience.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    Sonja  (10-08-2015)

  12. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    336
    Thanks
    49
    Thanked
    70
    Reviews
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Tennelly View Post
    No i dont think all 4 year olds are like that. If the teacher is saying there is a problem...there probably is. Im guessing she spends a lot of time with 4 year olds so would know what they are typically like. If you think it is bad behaviour that you need to deal with...then maybe deal with it as it seems to be causing issues for the teacher and possibly also effecting all the other children in the class.
    Nope, most kids certainly aren't like DS, but some are. I think that the diagnosis given to DS certainly has its place in the school environment and has given us some new strategies to deal with him, but I'm not completely convinced on DS's behalf because DH, my brother and BIL are all the same. I'm pretty sure that DS has SPD which is the next assessment to get done.
    Maybe the behaviour is so normal to me because of my family that I can't see past that?
    His behaviour affects his classmates to a certain extent, but he's not the only one fortunately. The teacher is the first to say he's a "good" kid, gentle, kind etc, but very short attention span and issues with discipline.

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    I just wanted to add my 2 cents in on labels for kids.

    Honestly the best thing for most kids are labels. Simply because with a label you get help. Without a label you get nothing.

    Never underestimate the help.

    Help

    Difference services like ot speech physio etc....
    Early intervention teams
    Special need therapy tools
    Than there is in school help
    Aide time
    Special needs class or tutoring
    Extra time doing tests.

    The best thing for my kids was a label. I really regret allowing a teacher to convince me not to get ds1 tested earlier because labels were bad. I will always have deal with that deep guilt.
    Completely agree. I'm just specifically talking about my DS. There is nothing worse than having professionals not believe you.
    DS is too young at the moment for the label to give us any assistance because he can't be formally diagnosed with ADHD until he's over 5.

  13. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    312
    Thanks
    122
    Thanked
    61
    Reviews
    0
    I a little tired of having to fit my DD's in a box.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Panadeine forte and breastfeeding on demand
    By haylithan in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 11-06-2015, 15:46
  2. Is there demand for family day carers?
    By musicalmummy in forum Newcastle
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 26-01-2015, 16:10

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Mother and Baby Shop
Save $$$ during our Christmas Sale Mother and Baby Shop
Great prices on Schoenhut kids pianos, toys, baby clothing as well as big brands like Pigeon, NUK, Cherub Baby and many more. Sale starts on 1 November 2016 and ends on the 27 December 2016. Hurry! Place your order today!
sales & new stuffsee all
The Health Hub
Give a new mum a fitness boost for Christmas & New Year. Studio-based, small group training sessions - cardio, strength, core, Pilates & boxing. Choice of 16 hrs per week, flexible-arrival feature - bubs & kids welcome! Gift vouchers available.
featured supporter
Baby Car Seats and Infant Car Restraints
Buying a baby car seat? Check out our 'go-to' links here!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!