+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    2,408
    Thanks
    928
    Thanked
    468
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Baby does 1 thing for me & different thing for everyone else

    Does anyone find that their baby does one thing for them & something else for everyone else?

    My 1 year old does & its super frustrating & I dont know what to do about it

    Like he eats solids perfectly for daycare, other family members & my husband. He will not eat solids at all for me, it goes straight on the floor or the spoon gets pushed away - this means he doesn't have dinner 5 days a week & generally doesnt have breakfast or lunch either on two days a week (i do offer every single time) & im getting concerned about his solids intake.

    And he wont go to sleep as well for me as he does for everyone else either. This is regular, but as an example last night he woke for a breastfeed & then when I put him back to bed he would not go to sleep. Cosleeping is not an option but i laid on a mattress on the floor in his room & tried cuddles, white noise, music, light projector machine, shushing, patting, singing & rocking - he screamed for over an hour. Husband then walked in & said he would take over - ds stopped screaming & went to sleep in less than 5 minutes. I could have cried, after dealing with that at 3am.

    Does anyone know why this is happening or what to do about it? Its making my pnd worse - I feel like a failure or that my son hates me

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    6,872
    Thanks
    5,195
    Thanked
    3,896
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    It's very common for babies and toddlers to behave differently for different people. They sense that persons demeanour, anxiety or stress levels and behave accordingly.

    Ie dd1 never comes to my bed if I'm home alone. DH is home and she bed shares every night.
    Dd2 needs DH to pat/shush her to sleep. I just put them to bed and go about my jobs and check in occasionally.
    My mother has to feed the kids their meals or they refuse to eat. They never get fed with me.
    Both girls refuse to shower with MIL but do so with me.
    Both girls nap 2-3hrs with me and 40 min with other people. DH hates this.
    Both girls dress themselves with dad but not with me as I don't have as much patience
    The list goes on.

    Tbh. I think when you get your anxiety under control you might be less stressed. I think your Bub picks up on your stress and reacts. Stress levels are infectious to an extent.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    6,872
    Thanks
    5,195
    Thanked
    3,896
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    Does anyone find that their baby does one thing for them & something else for everyone else?

    My 1 year old does & its super frustrating & I dont know what to do about it

    Like he eats solids perfectly for daycare, other family members & my husband. He will not eat solids at all for me, it goes straight on the floor or the spoon gets pushed away - this means he doesn't have dinner 5 days a week & generally doesnt have breakfast or lunch either on two days a week (i do offer every single time) & im getting concerned about his solids intake.

    And he wont go to sleep as well for me as he does for everyone else either. This is regular, but as an example last night he woke for a breastfeed & then when I put him back to bed he would not go to sleep. Cosleeping is not an option but i laid on a mattress on the floor in his room & tried cuddles, white noise, music, light projector machine, shushing, patting, singing & rocking - he screamed for over an hour. Husband then walked in & said he would take over - ds stopped screaming & went to sleep in less than 5 minutes. I could have cried, after dealing with that at 3am.

    Does anyone know why this is happening or what to do about it? Its making my pnd worse - I feel like a failure or that my son hates me
    Get DH to deal with overnights wake ups after a feed. I think you have too many options, pick 1 or 2. And just stick to it. Consistency is the key.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    2,408
    Thanks
    928
    Thanked
    468
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Dh often does but he also has to work so we try to take it in turns, especially if there are multiple wake-ups overnight

    I wish i could get my anxiety under control but ive pretty much accepted that its probably never going to happen. Ive tried cbt, mindfulness, breathing & relaxation stuff, none of it works & i don't have time to practice it more. I wont take meds when im breastfeeding & im struggling to wean ds. Last time i took meds they helped with my depression but did nothing at all for my anxiety anyway & then coming off them was horrible, i never want to do that again
    Last edited by heartstringz; 30-07-2015 at 12:18.

  5. #5
    Mod-Nomsie's Avatar
    Mod-Nomsie is offline Administrator
    Winner 2009/10/11/12/13 - Most helpful Moderator
    Winner 2011 - Naughtiest/Cheekiest Mod
    Winner - Quickest 'Thanker' on the Hub
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Vic
    Posts
    23,657
    Thanks
    6,899
    Thanked
    7,026
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 15/1/15
    Firstly- are you looking to or currently trying to wean?

    I only ask because my children became a hell of a lot more manageable once weaned. But don't let that stop you feeding if you still want to. I fed all 3 of mine until 20-22 months when I stopped cold turkey.

    I agree with pp though- I think your ds senses your anxiety and kid of goes to town on you. I know it makes things super hard for you and the only other thing I can think of that you haven't tried is things a but more alternate- yoga, acupuncture, herbal remedies etc.

    And I also agree that you have to pick one approach for each individual issue and stick with that for at least a month and see what happens.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Nomsie For This Useful Post:

    heartstringz  (30-07-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (30-07-2015)

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    2,408
    Thanks
    928
    Thanked
    468
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yes im trying to wean but struggling to get him to let go of the last few feeds. We are down to two a day now & then whenever he wakes overnight & i cant seem to reduce it any more.

    Im keen to go back to acupuncture as my neck is playing up anyway & i do find it relaxing, im just trying to find somewhere that does weekend appointments (without much luck) cause it wont exactly be relaxing if i have to take ds & i have no-one to look after him during the week

  8. #7
    Mod-Nomsie's Avatar
    Mod-Nomsie is offline Administrator
    Winner 2009/10/11/12/13 - Most helpful Moderator
    Winner 2011 - Naughtiest/Cheekiest Mod
    Winner - Quickest 'Thanker' on the Hub
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Vic
    Posts
    23,657
    Thanks
    6,899
    Thanked
    7,026
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 15/1/15
    Kellymom is a us website that is like a bible for anything weaning related.

    http://kellymom.com/ages/weaning/wea...ng-techniques/

    Have a look at the suggested techniques- something there may resonate with you and work.

    Eta: that should say anything *breastfeeding related.
    Last edited by Mod-Nomsie; 30-07-2015 at 18:23.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Mod-Nomsie For This Useful Post:

    heartstringz  (30-07-2015)

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    4,322
    Thanks
    1,552
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Don't forget that you are the most secure place for your baby.

    So they usually are on their best behaviour with other people while the feel in complete security with their parents and can show all their feelings.

    The same way we as adults only vent and disclose our true feelings to the people closest to us.

  11. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ExcuseMyFrench For This Useful Post:

    GreenMama  (30-07-2015),heartstringz  (30-07-2015),HollyGolightly81  (09-08-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (30-07-2015)

  12. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    1,757
    Thanks
    482
    Thanked
    435
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Does he breastfeed more when he is home with you? Could affect his appetite for solids. He probably throws food on the floor for you because he gets a reaction from you (even if you're trying to hide it).
    Do you think you could have higher expectations about how much you think he should be eating compared to others? When my DS1 started childcare I remember going to pick him up one day and the educator was talking to one of the other mum's about her child's poor eating, and was saying something along the lines of, some children seem to get by on eating very little, but others like this boy (pointing to my DS1- who was eating at the time) will eat just about anything you put in front of them. Until that moment I had thought my DS1 was a fussy eater and not getting enough solids.
    With the settling thing, I imagine after an hour of settling a screaming baby you would be quite frazzled and your DH would have been very calm, so it's not surprising that he settled within 5 minutes. My DS2 (10 months) has middle of the night parties where he is awake for an hour and then will suddenly settle again, not sure what that is, but very annoying, probably developmental though as he usually has a new trick the next day.

  13. #10
    AdornedWithCats's Avatar
    AdornedWithCats is offline Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Winner 2014 - Best Username

    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,816
    Thanks
    6,779
    Thanked
    3,407
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 12/6/15Funniest Caption400 Posts in a week300 posts in a week
    Yep. Caught ds calmly letting Nan clean his dirty bottom the other day. For mum & dad he tries to roll around, grab the dirty area with his hands and starts crying when we try to stop him.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Tell me one thing you like about yourself...
    By harvs in forum General Chat
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 30-04-2015, 18:13
  2. How is this a thing???
    By Apple iPhart6 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 04-02-2015, 20:34
  3. Need to know I'm doing the right thing...
    By Hasselhoff in forum General Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 05-09-2014, 18:49

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Innovations Sports Physiotherapy
Women’s Health Physios who are able to assess and treat a wide range of Pregnancy and Post Natal Issues. We offer Post Natal Pilates Classes taken by our Physios. These classes help you rebuild strength through your Core and Pelvic Floor.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!