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  1. #1
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    Default I'm not coping

    My DP and I were thinking of having a baby however conception happened way sooner than expected, as I thought I had a fertility issue, and I'm now 5 weeks pregnant. This is my second pregnancy, and to a different person than the first. I'm more scared this time. I didn't expect to be feeling this way, last time I was excited and happy. Just the few days I've had snowballing worries. I'm scared I'm going to end up as a single mum again, and people are going to talk about me negatively because I'll have two children to two dads. I'm worried my relationship is going to break down because I feel like I'm being shut off and pushed away. Some days I don't know if I'm actually wanted or needed at all, and that causes me to close off from any feelings and stop caring so that I can't get hurt. I'm worried that I'm not going to have any support from my mum who has blatantly told me she will refuse to be related to the baby, and who is constantly disappointed in me no matter what I do. I'm worried I'm going to have post natal depression again, I already have BPD and anxiety. I've been unemployed for a year after losing a great managerial job, I'm worried I'll never have a job like that again. I'm worried I'll be stuck on Centrelink benefits forever, I'm worried I won't get to finish my studies I'm paying for. I don't know what to do. Worried I won't be able to pay all my bills that have been accumulating. Had a car accident and my car is undriveable (not by me) and I can't afford to fix it or pay the rego on it. I just want to cry but I can't. Everything is so messed up and I don't know what to do.

  2. #2
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    Hugs. There are people on here way more qualified than me to give you advice but I couldn't read and run. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot at the moment. Try to take a deep breath and deal with one thing that you can control. Maybe that will help you feel a little better. Good luck.

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    alliphant  (29-07-2015)

  4. #3
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    Hey...
    You sound incredibly anxious. Perhaps the pregnancy has triggered anxiety. This happened to me in my first pregnancy (my second I was more depressed than anxious) and my advice is get on top of it as quick as possible. The first thing you need to do is get some sort of good support system around you. A really good psychologist is a must... make sure you speak to your gp and let them know of how you've been feeling. CBT, mindfulness, relaxation and regular exercise are all things that help with anxiety. Google "distorted thought processes" as well. It helped me to understand and recognise the distorted ways in which I was thinking and how they were contributing to my anxiety. I think developing severe anxiety is something that just happens to certain people during pregnancy, something to do with pregnancy hormones causing chemical imbalance in the brain or something. To a certain degree you can't stop it, you just have to ride it out, realise it's just a feeling and learn as many coping skills as you can and try not let it overwhelm you. Hope that helps a little. Your certainly not alone

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    alliphant  (29-07-2015)

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    alliphant  (29-07-2015)

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    Huge hugs. I second everything everyone else has said but I also wonder if it is work you and DP having counselling together. Just to try and have someone else help you explain to him how you feel and assist both of you to make an action plan. I guess if you weren't expecting to be pregnant so soon it would be a big shock, but a good one.

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    alliphant  (29-07-2015)


 

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