I would go with your first name. If anyone decides differently it should be your stepson and his partner.
Agree with @Moxy, I don't think your DF should be the one to say what you should be called.
My parents have both repartnered (and have been for many years- I knew my step dad before I knew my bio dad). When I had my 1st, I knew what I wanted my mum to be called- Nanny, as a tribute to her mum (my nanna). Mum was 36 as well and although she felt it was an 'old person' name, she knew the significance to me and went with it. As for my step dad, dad and step mum, we asked them what they felt comfortable with (they were all in their 30's as well). Step dad didnt know so we jokingly called him Pa once and it stuck. My dad said Pop and my step mum flat out refused to be called anything but her first name (because she said she had no real connection to our kids). So thats what we went with. Step mum doesn't play a big role in my life so I wouldn't feel comfortable with her being called anything else anyway.
Dh's mum decided she wanted to be Nonna (again because she was young and didnt want an 'old person' name). She met her partner a few years laterw and he had a few grandkids already so our kids called him what his other grandkids do, Poppy *first name*.
Speaking as a stepchild, it depends on the relationship you have with them. For example I am really close to my stepdads mum, so I have always called her what my stepdads other kids call her (Obuk, supposed to be Bubushka but when my step sisters were little they couldnt say it so it became Obuk), whereas my stepmums parents and I have only met a few times so I call them Mr and Mrs *last name*.
My mum is granny, my dad is grandad and my stepmum is nanny liz. Dd also has a nana and pops (ILs).
I think it's completely your step son and partners call. Have they spoken to you about it?
I'd ask your step son and his partner what they would like for you to be called
that will be nice for you and your partner.
I would certainly consult with the parents ... it doesnt mean they get to decide, but its nice to come up with something together.
It shows your respect for them, and theirs for you if you all can discuss it.
Whatever you're comfortable with! My dp's mother got called by her real name by her biological grandchildren up till recently, because she wasn't comfortable with grandma and that's just the way their family is. Now it just sounds weird to hear the kids call her grandma (they're 11 & 12)
My son call their grand parents by their first name. I personally hate it but you know they didn't want to be called mum or dad by their own kids either.
He also calls my dads partner by her first name and I think that's appropriate. IMO she's not his grand ma, she's his grand father partner
I'm surprised at how many posters say it's up to the parents.
I had a thread a couple of months ago about the same issue - what to call biological grand parents - and I was told it was up to the grand parents to pick their names.
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