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  1. #1
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    Default Does the emotional draining feeling ever stop?

    I am not coping today and am hoping to get some advice.
    I haven't even been trying for very long - we will be hitting the one year mark soon, but I feel down all the time. I have endo and PCO. Had a laparoscopy last august before we began out journey and starting clomid next cycle. My cycles vary between 32 days and 60 days.

    What I am struggling with the most atm is work and school friends. So many pregnant people which talk about their recent baby showers and obstetrician appointments and so on... They all seem to fall pregnant so easily with either unplanned kids or they started trying on their honeymoon. Some tell me I should relax and it will happen as they were relaxed and it happened within 1-3 months. Great for them doesn't mean I am the same.

    I just can't cope anymore and I thought this whole having a baby thing will be easy but turns out I am wrong.

    6dpo today and I already know this won't be my month again - I feel like never will my time come.

    After clomid it's ivf but it don't even know why that should magically work.

  2. #2
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    We tried for 3 years before we got pregnant, i did 6 rounds of clomid before having a 12 month drug break and having lap/hysto in between and started IUI after the break.

    It was the highschool girls falling easily that used to get to me and my SIL saying my brother just had to look at her, i nearly slapped her in the face the first time she said that!

    I don't think it ever goes you just somehow learn to live with it, although in saying that i retreated into myself a lot and didn't go out, didn't like to socialise etc.
    I hated the disappointment i would get every month and the sympathy looks from my so called friends.

    You will get there, don't loose faith.

  3. #3
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    Hey hon, I'm so sorry you're going through this. You've pretty much describes how I feel, so you're not alone (it sure feels like it though, doesn't it). I'm not in the infertility camp, though, I'm in the recurrent loss camp. We started trying in June last year and since then I've had a miscarriage and a stillbirth.

    It's like grief mixed with envy. All anyone can talk about is who's had a baby recently and it makes me want to scream. We're actually leaving the country for three weeks next month. I say it's because we need a holiday, but really it's because I need to be reminded that there's other things in life that doesn't include having a (live) baby.

  4. #4
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    Hi Kitty, hugs it really is hard! It took us just over 4 years before I fell pregnant due to IVF. I know exactly how you feel as I too have endo (had it removed) & PCOS. The whole time we were TTC no one else really understood as everyone around us seemed to fall pregnant so easily. I went through a lot of time where I got really down/upset about it. It sounds terrible but I got sick of hearing other peoples good news when it just seemed like we kept getting bad news. I went through a time where I pulled back a lot from people that were pregnant/complaining about kids & that helped me for a little bit but then I realised I couldn't keep pushing family/friends away. What I found helped me more was concentrating on things I could change/control. So I started getting myself in shape/loose a little weight, threw myself into work & concentrated on DH & I relationship, as it becomes easy to loose each other a little during fertility treatments. Clomid unfortunately didn't work for us but I made the decision to go to IVF instead of doing IUI, which was the best one I could have made. Hang in there, it's hard when everyone else around you is pregnant & I hope it's your turn soon.

  5. #5
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    May I ask if your first ivf worked for you rocky?

    Thanks so much for the very lovely messages I am really grateful for the support I am getting here xx

  6. #6
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    We were extremely lucky & yes it did work for us first go. When they collected the eggs I ended up with mild OHSS (apparently the risk is very high wit people that have pcos) so they had to freeze the embroyos. For this reason we weren't able to transfer any until five months later. My doctor later told me that some studies are supporting higher chances with frozen transfers but I haven't read anything about it.

  7. #7
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    Hello kitty so sorry to hear you're struggling. Like the lovely ladies who have already posted here I understand how you feel when it seems everyone around you is getting pregnant super easily and you're left waiting. Towards the end of our ttc journey I also found that the hardest to deal with (I think this is natural so don't beat yourself up over it, it's like a massive reminder of what you don't have) and I too dealt with it by isolating myself, particularly from anyone pregnant, ttc, or with new babies. I just couldn't deal with it.
    The other coping mechanisms we used - after our first 4 unsuccessful rounds of treatment (ovulation induction at that stage) we went on a massive overseas holiday for 5 weeks. Gave me something to plan and look forward to and provided a 'legitimate' break from treatment for us. After we came back and started again and had an unsuccessful IUI we also set a 'limit' on further treatments and planned our 'plan b' no kids life. It was important to us to have both an end point for treatment and a back up plan for our life. The other thing we did is really not discuss our treatment with many people at all. I really had one close much older friend who knew what we were going through and a couple of others who vaguely knew we were having treatment but no details or timing. I found it helped keeping it between us as it prevented the external pressure and inquisition.
    I just gave birth to our beautiful baby girl almost a month ago. She was the result of a frozen embryo transfer. Our only infertility issue was my PCOS and anovulation. We had 2 rounds of ovulation induction with clomid (no ovulation), 2 rounds with FSH injections (ovulated but BFN), 1 ovulation induction with FSH + IUI (BFN). Then moved to IVF - like @Rocky27 I got OHSS so all embryos were frozen and then when I had the transfer it was successful and resulted in our girl. This whole process from first FS appt to BFP took 2 years (we had an 8 month gap though halfway through).
    My advice would be to religiously monitor your treatment, write down every test you have, every result, every treatment and every cycle. Drive your health care - this was invaluable for me as time went on. Make plan b, plan c. Take care of each other, you'll need each other. Be careful who you tell about your ttc - you can't un-tell people. And know that however you're feeling be gentle to yourself, it's ok to not want to be around people who remind you of your pain - you need to prioritise your emotional health and strength. Wishing you all the best for your treatments x

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to gingermillie For This Useful Post:

    Rocky27  (27-07-2015)


 

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