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    Default Why does it have to be so had to be a working parent

    Feeling rather discouraged about that fact that the workforce is just not set up for both parents to be working despite it supposedly becoming more flexible and understanding.

    We have had a rough few weeks healthwise in this family, resulting in both DH and myself having to take time off to care for our kids (we have 4......so we share our sick leave for two people between 6 people in reality). Every one was starting to feel better and then DS #3 has a bike accident resulting in him knocking out 3 teeth late this afternoon.

    DH has had to call in sick again (I was had Thursday and Friday at home with sick DS #4). Now we wait for the fall out....he will likely be "counselled" (he works for government) despite it being a legitimate need to take time off. He will also likely miss out on much needed overtime. This has happened before. He had time off last year when he had Pneumonia and yhen a few weeks later had to take the day off for when if the kids as I had literally just started a new job. It makes me sick to my stomach that we can't just focus on our sick/injured child with this unnecessary worry.

    I don't even know what I am asking. I guess I am more venting! How do other parents with a bunch of kids make it work? Does it stress you out? Sometimes I think I should have just stayed home until they were all old enough to stay home by themselves when sick!!!!

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    DH works full time, long hours and I work part time 40hrs fortnight. DH doesn't take leave for the children, I'm expected to take the leave. His job pays more and is less flexible with leave than mine. We only have 2 children and currently expecting our 3rd and last.

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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    I feel your pain. We only have one child but we also have no family support. At them moment I have no sick leave because I had to use the few days that I had for dd when she had a tummy bug. Dh chips in and stays home with her too.

    I get frustrated at dd's teacher because I do what I can at the school but the teacher will say things like 'oh it's hard to keep track of when you are coming in because it isn't very often'.

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    What makes you think your hubby will be counseled? Any chance you are worried over nothing?

    From my experience the best way to ensure 1) minimal guilt on your part and 2) minimum resentment from colleagues is:
    - bring in a medical certificate where possible
    - submit leave in a timely manner
    - never get your spouse to ring in sick for you
    - if possible when a child is sick do split days eg you work early 6am-12 and hubby works 1pm-7
    - take work home if possible
    - maybe getting an au pair or nanny would be better than childcare (so the au pair can stay home if your child is sick)

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    Because it's happened before @VicPark . Getting a Nanny is not an option. Simply can not afford it. I make not much more than minimum wage. And as far as splitting the day with hubby.... Not doable in his job. They have to call in a replacement and that has a minimum amount of hours. He can't start or finish earlier as it has to be when the building he is managing opens and closes (he works as a Senior Protective Security Officer and Building Supervisor for the Qld state Government) I can't work early or late as the office I work in is in my bosses home.

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    Hugs. It sucks. But I would definitely get a medical cert for every day off and if possible ring up the day/night before to let them you know you aren't coming in. It's easier to shuffle resources if you have more warning.

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    Personal / carer's leave is an entitlement and they can't invoke disciplinary action for him exercising a workplace right - it's illegal (look up adverse action if you want more info). He just needs to make sure he follows their processes in terms of notifying them that he will be taking personal / carer's leave and providing evidence (medical certificate or stat dec) then there is nothing they can do.

    I hope your run of illness and injuries is over now!

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    We have 2 kids and I delayed my return to work after having our 2nd as he gets sick quite a lot. He just turned 1 and is currently unwell with his 13th bout of croup. It would be basically impossible for me to go to work. DHs job is full on and mine was in the city (1.5hr commute each way, 3 days a week). My role was client-facing, so not very flexible with hours. Luckily I was made redundant just before I was due to go back, it has given me another 6 months at home.

    I don't know how people do it to be honest. I think some are just lucky that their kids don't get sick much, or they have lots of family support, or a really flexible job.

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    I feel for you it is very hard. I'm in the same position every time DS gets sick I literally have a panick attack. Sick days are really looked down upon at my work. I remember one time one of my colleagues got a call from the school saying his son was very ill and he needed to pick him up, which he did, rightly so. Then another colleague commented and said they could never have just left like that. (This person does not have kids). It's a constant struggle, I hate it and feel so guilty taking sick days. I feel the pressure of being a working parent it's incredibly difficult. We also have no family that can help out during these times.

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    Default Why does it have to be so had to be a working parent

    I'm in the same boat. Im lucky DS doesn't get sick all that often but DH works FIFO so when he's sick it's up to me to stay home. My boss always acts very disappointed when I call sick (I have never actually taken a sick day for myself) and the day I go back no one would have helped out with my job and I'll be expected to just work late to catch up. My family live 3 hours away so can't look after DS unless it's pre organized and Mil works so not really an option either


 

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