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  1. #11
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    I can completely understand why you're upset about this.
    I think it's one of those times where if nothing goes awry it's easy to say "no harm". But if something had gone wrong, it would be too late to question whether that was a good decision or not.

    I agree with A-Squared, if DS was asleep, the need for milk was no longer urgent and he could have taken DS with him when he woke up.

    At the same time, I don't want to crucify thre guy completely. This gig is full of "this or that" questions and I don't know that I always get it right either.

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  3. #12
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    Thanks for your thoughts all :-)

    It's hard for me to look objectively at things like this because, like @GirlsRock said, he is so hypercritical of me.

    In an emergency like needing medicine or something I could kind of understand it, and I leave the house to put the bin out and things sometimes.

    But...he knew DS was going to be there. It seemed like a totally avoidable situation, which I think is why I'm angry about it. He always knows when we are coming, but there is never food for him or nappies. Just buy some damn milk!! And yeah, it wouldn't have been hard to pop him in the car and drive around the corner.

    It feels like major hypocrisy to be texting me every five minutes to check that I'm keeping DS away from alcohol at the wedding (I didn't touch a drink until after DS had gone), but to be so blasé about this.

    Also, if DS wakes up in the night he can get distressed to vomiting within 30 seconds. I can't imagine him after five or ten minutes. It makes my heart hurt.

    But, I think I'll probably leave it for today and bring it up in a few days. Thanks again for your thoughts.

    And awesome to see you back @Sonja!

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  5. #13
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    Oh Luv..I'd be absolutely livid!!! He obviously didn't think of possible consequences when he made that decision.

    I agree with everything GucchiDahling has said, but there's no justification for doing that IMO.

    Either wake them @ take with or wait until they wake up @ go then. Perhaps in future he can have a box of powdered milk or something like that on standby if a situation like that arises again?? I'd buy the box myself just to make sure!!

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  7. #14
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    Default How angry would you be?

    Quote Originally Posted by HappyBovine View Post
    I know would be beyond livid. Exdh did something similar when we were still married. I was out with my then baby and he left the older three kids - then aged 7,4 and 2 - home alone (awake) while he went out and got pizza. It is one of many reasons we are no longer married.

    In your situation, surely the logical thing would have been to take DS while he was still awake anyway. The whole point was that he was upset because wanted some milk and you had none left. It makes no sense to wait until he was asleep. Was he planning on then waking him up when got back from the shops to give him a cup of milk?
    This made me think of when I was younger and growing up in SA. My parents would often leave me home alone (no brothers or sisters) and go to the city, which was about 60 kms away for the day. Or sometimes just out to the shops etc. it was from the age of around 7/8.

    We had a phone of course, but in those days there were no mobile phones. I was a pretty responsible kid though and I always kept the doors locked etc. I would generally just watch TV or something like that. Sometimes I would have a friend over to play. (The same age)

    Occasionally the neighbours were home, sometimes they weren't.

    Edit: @harvs, I would be upset if my DH left our kids home alone, luckily for me he is almost over protective so I don't have to worry about that, if I were in your shoes now, I would probably say why I felt it wasn't a good idea, but maybe not make a huge thing of it. If he continued to do it though, I would be fuming. Your DS is only young isn't he?
    Last edited by SAgirl; 26-07-2015 at 13:12.

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    I would be fricken furious! And he would know about it. Anything could have happened! And not just with your DS, ex could have been hit by a bus and no one would have known DS was home alone. I think it's negligent parenting.

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  11. #16
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    Default How angry would you be?

    @meredithgrey it was a question for the OP which she answered but thanks.

    With the further facts yes I would be angry. But in your situation OP I think it's hard.

    And thanks everyone for the welcome back. My views on parenting have become even more moderate if that was possible so depending on how that goes down I may or may not stick around.
    Last edited by Sonja; 26-07-2015 at 12:51.

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    I would be furious. You don't leave a 2 year old alone in a house for something as trivial as milk.

    There are too many what ifs. Chances are nothing bad will happen, but if one of those 'what ifs' occurred, the consequences could be dire.

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  15. #18
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    I would be pretty annoyed. This situation was avoidable. If it were me I would send milk and nappies with ds for my peace of mind that he had enough, just as I do for daycare. Maybe just talk to fob and suggest he ensures he is prepared prior to ds going there in the future and tell him you are not comfortable with him leaving him on his own.

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    Very annoyed. Not on at all. To many what ifs.
    What of he was in an accident and couldn't get home,
    What if a fire started at home ect

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  19. #20
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    If it was me - I would be furious!!! And I'd point out to him that it is illegal - so in no rational way can he default this to you being difficult...! I'm a bit dumb founded that he would have done this - I'm sure he has a car seat, or a pram, or two arms even to just take the child with him...

    As a side note, a couple of PP's have mentioned that in an emergency, like getting medicine, it might be justifiable...if the medicine was for the child, I think it would be even worse to leave the sick child at home... What if the child went downhill, or is probably more likely to wake and be distressed due to not being well etc. And if it as for me, well surely I would be able to wait until the child is awake - or if it's that urgent, wake the child and bring them with me...!!! It's really not that hard... Sleep is not more precious than the wellbeing of a child.

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