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  1. #31
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    Yep, she only lent us the deposit which was 100k and no she didn't pay for the whole house. But my husband at the time was trying to be 'a good boy' and insisted to the conveyancer that we should put the whole house on caveat. I was so upset when I found out because at the time his mom was only keen on the 100k. But now it's a different story. She's decided we are not to use the house at all for any form of financing. Our business has gone up and down over the past couple of years and she's scared that we might make a wrong decision and lose the house.
    Our credit ratings are alright, and getting small loads and credit cards hasn't been a problem. But bigger loans requires more and with our business figures in the last two years it's not happening. So a bigger house for the time being is not happening and we really actually need some cash injection and that's not happening either because we can't use the house so we are stuck.
    So the only option that sounds good is moving in with her so she thinks.
    Hubby thinks the same and thinks I should sacrifice a year. But I don't want to. I am on good ground with mil at the moment and I don't want to ruin the relationship. I know I would lose it if she dismisses my authority on a daily basis and baby my DD like the way she's been.
    A psychic told her once that she and DD were mother and daughters in past life and omg since then it's been worse. I just don't feel comfortable about the whole situation.

  2. #32
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    That's what I said to DH too how are we suppose to save money I don't get it. Probably end up paying her utilities and food for an extra person!

  3. #33
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    Lol you ladies are funny. Mil is old but she quite healthy, I don't think she'll pass soon.
    But yes the terms have set. Caveat will be removed once she dies.

  4. #34
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    I still don't get why you can't borrow against the house and pay her back and remove the caveat? you'll have a $100k mortgage over your house but with interest rates so low, your repayments will be tiny.

    I'd definitely not be moving in with her. she's using this caveat to control you both and it's wrong. buy your freedom back!

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    Janesmum123  (27-07-2015)

  6. #35
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    If she really wanted to help, she would remove the caveat.

    No way would I be moving in with someone who gave me a loan but put a long-standing "debt" on it.

  7. #36
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    Wow that's really poor of DH to put a caveat over the whole property without consulting you. Does that mean if you sell, she technically is entitled to the full amount of the caveat?

    If it were me, and I was in this situation with my ILs or my Mum, I'd rent out the current property, save that money for a year then move on.. It does sound like there may be some ulterior motives, however it is still helping you out of your current situation as it is now. In the nicest possible way, use the situation to your advantage - the caveat is there and that won't change, so time to think of another way

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    tubster  (29-07-2015)

  9. #37
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    Sounds like they have put the caveat to protect your husband in the event of a marriage breakdown.

    Did you contribute financially to the purchase of the property?

    Sounds like the caveat is to ensure your MIL gets back the amount she put in, in the event of your separation.

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    tubster  (29-07-2015)

  11. #38
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    have to agree with the PP who said mil isn't really helping, she's just controlling.

    my parents helped us buy our place by going guarantor on the loan. at no point was there mention of caveats of any strange limitations in place should dh and I split up.

    I think when parents want to genuinely help, they do so without restrictions and limitations in place. of course I understand the need for asset protection and I get that she's also enduring she gets her $100k back. but I just think this situation sounds very set up to suit mil and it really punishes you.

    your dh needs to stand up to his mum and tell her to back off a bit. I think you guys also need to find a way to repay her $100k deposit and get her off your backs.

  12. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    have to agree with the PP who said mil isn't really helping, she's just controlling.

    my parents helped us buy our place by going guarantor on the loan. at no point was there mention of caveats of any strange limitations in place should dh and I split up.

    I think when parents want to genuinely help, they do so without restrictions and limitations in place. of course I understand the need for asset protection and I get that she's also enduring she gets her $100k back. but I just think this situation sounds very set up to suit mil and it really punishes you.

    your dh needs to stand up to his mum and tell her to back off a bit. I think you guys also need to find a way to repay her $100k deposit and get her off your backs.
    Fair points. That being said I've had time to think about this over the last day or so (You're right I don't have a life ) I think a caveat for the deposit amount is more than understandable. $100,000 is a lot for someone else to lose if the OP and DH borrows against the house and things then go pear shaped. I don't think I would even consider lending someone that amount. If someone isn't able to gather a deposit for a loan (or mortgage extension) themselves then do they really have the ability to service it or are they shooting above their means?

  13. #40
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    agree with you @VicPark

    the missing link for me is that the op has said their house is now paid off in full and has no mortgage over it. given that's the case, why not get the caveat removed so they can unlock some of the equity? they could give mil her $100k back and then have the balance of the equity at their disposal.

    op is this scenario an option?

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    A-Squared  (28-07-2015)


 

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